


Made for Our Love

by SepZet



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Exhibitionism, F/F, F/M, It gets pretty crazy, Just hold on, M/M, Mild Gore, Mind Break, Multi, Oral Sex, Polyseed, Pre-Canon, Religious Fanaticism, Seedcest, Vaginal Sex, Watersports, slightly canon divergent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-07 04:14:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 62,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14663085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SepZet/pseuds/SepZet
Summary: Pre-Far Cry 5. An online freelance journalist moves to Montana in the hopes of escaping her life, to start new. The community is good, welcoming, and even as a nonreligious person, she goes to church in Fall's End, only to meet the new, tentative pastor, Father John Seed. Like any good girl, she gets a crush, and finds herself melding into a family that has far more problems than she ever thought she had. But she goes happily to be born again, and again, and again.





	1. Welcome to Hope County

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Far Cry fic. I kinda went nuts with it. I have finals I should be doing, other fics, other obligations but goddammit the Seed family HAS ME. HELP.

Understandable, sure. It was kind of out of the way. Far away from any city. And a hospital. And a restaurant. Or a Target.

Okay, so it was the middle of fucking nowhere. Absolutely secluded.

But that was cool. Because she now owned a house.

Sep cursed under her breath as she fumbled with the parking break of the stupid moving truck. Goddammit, stupidly complicated trucks. Damn. With a jerk, she managed to park the damn truck.

She was not good at driving the big trucks, especially not down dirt roads into the middle of fucking nowhere.

But she had a house. An actual house. And five acres of land. Like what the fuck was that. Actual property was hers with her measly amount of money. It hadn’t seemed possible, but it was. Her own home, away from everything, in the country. She did like the country. Maybe she could get a horse. Or something.

The truck was up way too high for her in that she had to pretty much fall out of the truck. She barely caught herself, exhaling sharply as her knee twinged. And her ankle. She was an old woman already, stuck in a twenty something year old body with the metabolic age of an old man. She was going to fix that. Or something about it. Not much else to do out in the middle of nowhere.

But first, she had to unpack. Hooray.

Stepping around the truck, she let a sigh filter out of her at the sight of her new house. It was a two story house, old and a little rough, but it was hers. Maybe a new coat of paint would do it, but yes. Hers. Not like she had enough furniture to fill the place up. It would be a slow process of ordering shit online because getting furniture out there was going to be shitty, but oh well.

Snapping her hair tie on her wrist, she reached up to put her hair up. Might as well get to work. The truck rental was expensive, and she had no idea how she was going to get it back to the distributer. Gods. Being an adult was hard.

How the fuck was she supposed to open the truck? She fumbled with the latch a bit before she remembered the instructional booklet in the passenger seat.

Ugh. Effort. She cursed a bit as she clambered up into the truck once more, grabbing up the packed of hastily printed instructions. That bitch at the Home Depot had really not given a shit about her. At least she was out of there.

Another tumble out of the truck, and she shuffled through them, trying to find something that would help her with that shit.

The rumble of a truck made her glance up. The approach of several trucks actually had her a little worried.

They parked a little further back from the house, one further down the line blasting some old rock. Part of her wanted to complain, to demand to know why they were there, but then the front truck had both doors pop open.

The driver who hopped out was a pretty blond lady, that charming red flush from too much sun on her cheeks. She even had the cut off shirt to match it, all very charming. Classic southern vibe, that was for sure.

“Hello there! Welcome to Fall’s End!”

“Hi,” was all she could manage, clasping her hand, shaking it firmly. “So. Um. What’s going on?”

“Oh, we’re just here to welcome you to the community, hun,” the blond lady drawled, shrugging her shoulders in a sharp jerk as more and more people fell out of their trucks. “And help you move in.”

“Help me…move in?”

“Absolutely.” She smiled, taking her hand back so she could tug a handkerchief out of her pocket, tying it around her head as a sweatband. “We figure you’d like some help. We’re all happy to lend a helping hand.”

“Um.” She glanced at all the people popping out of the cars, scratching awkwardly at the back of the neck. “I’m not sure what to say to that.”

“Don’t need to. I’m Mary May, by the way. And you are?”

“I’m Sep. September. Uh. September Mendax.” Awkward. Awesome. “Do you guys do this for everyone?”

“Absolutely. We-”

“Not like we got much else to do,” a man sing-songed as he walked by, undoing the truck latch with one simple movement.

“Hey. And we like to help.” Mary May tsked, shaking her head slightly. “So. You’re going to stand back and just tell us where to put things, alright? We’ll do all the heavy lifting.”

Aggressively giving, huh? She mumbled in confusion as a few people hopped into her truck, picking up boxes to carry them inside. It was a small town. Maybe that was normal for small towns. They were aggressively nice.

All she could do was trail after and tell them where to go, where to put boxes and the like. Every new face that she saw, they greeted her, introducing themselves and what they did. So weird. So different from the big city.

Especially in their generosity.

“Hey I noticed you don’t have a couch. I got an older one that’s just too big for my house. I’ll bring it over tomorrow for you.”

“That window in the far room is loose in the frame. My husband’s real good at carpentry. We can come fix that, no problem.”

“I own a bar called the Spread Eagle. If you want to swing by, I can get you some free dinners until you get settled.”

It was too much. All of it was way too much. It was impossible to process what to do with that kind of continuous giving. Which is why she just sat on her back porch, hugging her knees to her chest as she stared over her field.

It took a while for anyone to find her. They didn’t say anything, disappearing again, only for Mary May to come out, heaving a heavy sigh as she sank down beside her. A faint hiss indicated that there was a beer, drawing her attention over.

Mary May offered the bottle, brows lifting.

“Ah, no thank you. I don’t drink, really.” Sep gave her a quick smile, looking back out at the field. “Thank you for all your help.”

“Anytime.” Mary May paused, her voice dragging into a hum. “And I’m starting to understand that that is the problem.”

“Not a problem. It’s just…a little much to handle.” It was silly to admit it, but she had to say it. “Coming from the city where no one even looks at anyone else, then this…this is a lot.”

“I feel that. It’s a lot to take in. We don’t want to overwhelm you.” Mary May took a swig of her beer, letting out a truly satisfied sigh. “Nothing like a cold beer on a warm evening.”

“I don’t have money to pay you guys back. I’m going to be living from paycheck to paycheck.” Writing articles online and the like. Yeah. Not the most secure job, but it was enough to pay for her house and other minor necessities. She wasn’t going to have much disposable income, and certainly not enough to repay all of them for all of their help.

“We didn’t help just so you would pay us, hun. We don’t expect any kind of payment. We just wanted to help.”

“Right.” That was going to be hard to grasp for a number of reasons. “I can’t thank you guys enough. I really appreciate all of this.” It was certainly overwhelming. It was only a matter of time before she had to retreat to cry a bit. “Really.”

“Of course. I look forward to seeing you down at the Spread Eagle. We have some damn good foods there. Good people too, all willing to talk if you’d like. We’d love to hear more of the city. Most of us don’t make it out to the city unless there’s something our doctor can’t handle and we need to go to the hospital. So…nothing really.” Mary May shrugged again, swigging from her beer. “It’ll take a bit for you to get used to it, but we’ve got plenty to do around here.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Shooting’s always fun, be it with guns, bows, or slingshots. We got plenty of trails to hike or use ATVs on. We have festivals and such, fishing, all that. We have all kinds of stuff, and there’s always someone willing to sit and chat for a few hours. Nothing better to do than shoot the shit.”

Talking. What a fun concept. “That…sounds nice, actually.”

“And if you’re really short on ideas, you can always go and see Father John. He’s always got something going on.”

Right. Rural cities always had religion. “I’ll…consider it.”

Mary May caught on quickly enough, tsking. “Even if church ain’t your thing, Father John does his best to get the community involved with each other. He can find something to keep you busy.”

“Thanks. Really. I’ll swing by.”

Mary May nudged her shoulder with hers, offering up a soft smile. “We’ll have you a country bumpkin yet. You just-”

“Hurk, you get your ass outta here with that shit!”

Sep inhaled sharply, turning to look at her door at the scuffle inside. Mary May groaned, rising to her feet to head in.

“I just wanted to make her feel welcome!”

“Fireworks are not necessary, not in the house.”

Sep had to grin, listening to the friendly scuffle of her new neighbors inside. It would be weird, but she’d get there. She’d figure it out.

+++++++++

Okay, she had to admit. The Spread Eagle had some fucking amazing chicken and dumplings. Seriously.

Smothering a burp behind her fist, she paused on the side of road, feeling that crisp evening air brush through her hair. Nice evening with good weather. Week two of Fall’s End had her…surprisingly comfortable. All the promises form her neighbors had actually been followed through. Her window was fixed, she had some new furniture, and while she kept trying to pay, she had several free dinners. And it was damn good food. Damn good food.

They really were nice so far. She met all the characters, met Nick and Kim Rye, the aviator pair, Grace Armstrong, the stony serious war veteran, and the destructive pair of Hurk and Sharky. Nice people, every single one of them.

They were giving her time to open up, she knew that. They were nosy, they would all be nosy. Everyone was. She knew she would have to open up eventually. It was only fair.

Shoving her hands in her pockets, she glanced up and down the street. It was getting to the point where she could hear crickets, the sun settling low. She should head straight home, but the evening was much too nice to just bail on it. Might as well take a walk.

The town was small, but good enough. It was nice. It was like retiring without actually retiring. Peaceful, away from the stresses of modern life. And with any luck, she could survive her depression for a while. Get everything back on track, be happy again.

Funny thing, being happy. For some people, it was easy. For some people, it was impossible. She was right down the middle, but gods if she wasn’t strong enough to handle it. She knew people went through so much worse, but she could only handle so much. Maybe, in time, she would get better at it. Maybe.

All she could do was carry on, and do her best.

Her steps slowed at the edge of town, at the wide road in front of her. Such a small town. Not much to do but turn back unless she wanted to wander down and visit the Ryes, and it wasn’t like she knew them that well.

Sighing, she took a step to turn, her eyes landing on the smooth white planks of the church.

Right. She had promised to go there. To meet their priest. Pastor. Father. Whatever. She had no idea. She seemed to have met everyone else. She was being rude. She should go and introduce herself to Father John. Even if most religious issues made her supremely uncomfortable.

Tough shit. Go be nice.

Throwing her shoulders back, she went to the front walkway of the church. Looked nice. There were some vines with white flowers draped over the walkway. Pretty. It soothed her a little as she headed up the steps, placing her hand on the door. It pushed open without issue, revealing a single room.

Of course. Just needed room for people to sit and listen to speeches. Sermons. Whatever.

Still kind of nice. Peaceful. It gave her confidence enough to wander in. The warm light filtering in through the windows was really nice. Part of her could understand the comfort of going there whenever there was a problem. The vibe, the whole deal could get people to relax. Yeah. It was nice.

She was still standing awkwardly in the center of the church, staring at one of the windows when she heard a door behind the altar close. It startled her into twitching, eyes wide and guilty, like she didn’t belong there.

“Oh,” the new arrival sighed, locking the door behind him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Help. She needed help. Immediately. Because she could not find words enough to actually respond to the goddamn man there. Because he was pretty. Very pretty.

He stepped up to the altar, setting down a book. Bible, probably. He patted the worn cover for a moment, then stepped down the few steps to come down the center walkway. She should really say something. Words, preferably.

“You’re Ms. Mendax, right?” He offered his hand to her. “I’m Father John. I’m so pleased to meet you.”

She’d like to die. That would be cool. She managed to smile, to slide her hand into his, grip firmly and shake. How was he so clean and dapper? Why was he so pretty? Say words.

“Hi.” Oh yes, good. They’d already established meeting. Say more words. “I’m new here.” Say no more words.

He laughed softly, bringing his other hand in to clasp hers in both of his. “And we are very happy to have you here. I do hope we’ve given a good impression.”

“So far so good. It’s a lot of people being nice and I’m not used to it.” She felt like her face was stupidly red. Probably was. “I’m not sure how to handle it. Or repay it.”

“Just by accepting it. That is more than enough.” He let go, clasping his hands neatly in front of him. He was intimidating and yet welcoming, dressed impeccably, groomed immaculately, just…a lot to take in. “We are giving. There are no expectations of you in the face of it.”

“Well, still. Thank you.” Say different words. “So. Um. I was told I needed to meet you. Mary May said so.”

“Yeah? You looking to join the church?” It was an open, honest question. It didn’t sound pressuring, but she still felt that little twinge of discomfort in her stomach.

“I…I’m not…” She glanced up to the altar. “I’m not religious. I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize. You are under no obligation to be religious. You are not required to be a part of the church.” Still had that gentle smile, the fucker, even as he gestured to a nearby pew. “May we sit?”

“Oh, sure. Yeah.” There was that awkward tuck of her hair behind her ear. She was good at fiddling with her hair. She settled down, sliding over a bit so he could settle right beside her. Still very close. Goodness. Why was his shirt so open? It was entirely distracting.

“Ah, there we go.” He sighed softly as he settled down, leaning back. “Call me biased, but I find these pews to be the most comfortable I’ve sat in. Maybe it’s their history, with all the good people that have sat here.”

Sure they were. They were wooden benches. Damn priests and their optimistic view on shit.

“Mm, anyways.” Clapping his hands on his thighs, he turned to face her a bit better. “As I was saying. There is no need to apologize for not carrying God in your heart. We do not judge on religion or lack there of. While the church may not be something that exists in your every day life, we are happy to be here for you if you need us.”

“Need you for what?” Well that sounded terrible. She felt bad the moment she said it, flinching a bit. He, however, seemed unfazed.

“For anything. A helpful hand, an attending ear, anything. I recommend that you attend one of my sermons once, just to see how it makes you feel. We also tend to have get togethers afterwards, and it is a good chance to socialize.”

“I’ll…try.” Maybe. Well, if he was what she had to look forward to looking at, then…well, maybe. “Worth a shot.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” He smiled brilliantly, reaching over to pat her hand. “We don’t bite, I promise.”

She wouldn’t mind if he bit. Just a little. “No offence, but you’re different from what I imagine priests to be.”

“Ah, pastor, actually. Not a priest.” He shrugged good naturedly, nonplussed about everything. “But I’m going to take that as a compliment. Most images of religious leaders…well, they haven’t been great lately. I am…” He paused, looking down at his hands, such a gentle smile on his lips. “Happy to break the mold.”

Damn him for being so goddamn pretty. Stupidly pure religious bastard. Ugh. Fall’s End sucked.

“Uh. I…okay.” She cleared her throat. Words. “Thank you for your offer of hospitality. I will keep it in mind.”

“And that’s all we ask. That’s all.” He turned a bit, glancing over his shoulder at the warm light filtering through the door. “It is getting late. Would you like a ride back home?”

“I mean, I don’t want to put anyone out of their way. I can walk it. The evening is nice anyways.”

“Nonsense. Come on now, I’ll drive you. I was getting ready to go anyways.” He waved the notion away, rising to his feet. “After all, there are a few wild animals out there that would make a tasty snack out of you.”

Speaking of snacks…Her eyes flickered over him once more before guilt took over. He was a holy man and focused on his faith. She should not be thinking about him like that. “As long as it doesn’t bother you.”

“Nonsense. I’ll be headed in that general direction anyways. Let’s go then.”

She trailed after like a child, trotting down the few steps while he paused to close the doors. It really was getting dark pretty quickly, and she didn’t even have a flashlight. Part of her was grateful he had offered, but another part of her did not want to be in an enclosed space with him.

“Mm. Mary May’s lavender is coming in,” Father John mused as he continued on, beckoning her to follow. “She likes to plant it along the roadside in any available barrel most seasons. Brings in so many bees.”

“Ah. Well, bees are good.” Also sounding like an intelligent adult was good. “So…you always lived in Fall’s End?”

“Me? No, my family and I moved here not too long ago. I adopted this parish from Father Jerome, who decided to retire and settle in with Mary May. I am lucky to have been handed such a fine community.” Father John moved around behind the church, leading her to a very nice truck. Big. New. There was some vanity there, she thought.

But family. Right. That made sense. “Good place to settle with family, yeah? Good to raise kids and the like?” Wow, way to sound desperate and nosy.

“Of course, if you plan on it.”

Right. Cool. Thank goodness he missed that completely. She just kept her mouth shut and clambered into the passenger seat, staring determinedly out the windshield during the drive.

“I apologize for not being at your welcoming party, by the way.” Resting just a few fingers on the steering wheel, they rumbled on down the road, a steady yet leisurely pace. He still focused outside though, his free hand tugging his sunglasses from the top of his head so he could place them back in the compartment in the ceiling of the truck. “I wanted to be there, but a baptism took my time.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I was already overwhelmed enough as it was.” Having someone so pretty helping out definitely would have given her an aneurism.

“We’ll get you used to generosity yet. One of our finest qualities here in Fall’s End, I must say.” Adjusting his grip, he let one hand rest on the wheel, the other hooking just out the open window of his truck. Relaxed. Pretty. Distracting. “This is a place where people go to heal by giving more than they feel like they should receive. It has done wonders for us all.”

She had nothing to give to them. She had nothing.

Sighing softly, she looked out the windshield. Gods, that place was too much to handle.

“Here we are. Home sweet home.” The car rolled to a stop right in front of her house. Her house. What a thought. “Good little place you’ve got here. Plenty of space.”

“Yeah, five acres. I’m thinking about getting some animals. Mostly chickens. I love chickens.”

“Got some work cut out for you then. Make sure to swing by the church if you need help.”

“I will. Thank you, Father John.” She gave him a quick nod, slipping out of his truck. Long way down. “I’ll see you around.”

“I hope so.” He gave her that same gentle smile, nodding faintly.

Cool. Okay. She turned and trotted up to her door. And he waited for her, making sure she got inside. Right. She paused just inside her doorway, turning to wave at him. He tapped his horn in acknowledgement, and finally pulled away.

Okay. Fall’s End was…going to take a while to get used to. What with the friendly people and the hot pastor, she was going to have a very, very hard time not feeling like…well, a snake in the garden.

Ugh, religious symbolism.

She needed to go to bed.


	2. Dinner with Deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> September wants to make good with the community. What better way than to wine and dine the Father, or rather, John and his family?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sep's got some weak mind going on and she's a weak, weak person. She's fuuuuuuucked.

There was no avoiding it.

She had to go to church.

Not that they would force her. No no, they were very nice about her and her religious freedoms, but it was because of that that she felt so damn guilty about it. They definitely noticed her not being there. It was such a small town after all.

So she wanted to give them real reason to actually like her being there. She was going to be living there for a good long time. She couldn’t alienate herself right off the bat. Just go to church and look at the pretty priest and not freak out. Cool.

Which was how she ended up heading up the steps early on Sunday morning, trying not to flush too much when her neighbors looked at her. Where was she even supposed to sit? Were there rules when it came to going to church? Assigned seats? What was she-

“Sep! Come sit with me!” Mary May called out, waving from the very front. Fuck.

Oh well. Better than standing there like an idiot. She ducked her head, hurrying forward to slide onto the pew beside Mary May.

“Welcome to church,” she laughed, patting her on the knee. “Happy to see you here.”

“Yeah, well, I can still make a break for it.”

Mary May snorted, nudging her. “Oh it’ll be fine. You might even like it.”

Right, sure. Just see if it was a huge waste of time, if it was something she could tolerate every Sunday just to remain friends with her neighbors.

A few more people filtered in, speaking quietly, but all of that went away when Father John came in. People fell into a respectful silence as that dapper piece of shit stepped up to the center pew. He shuffled a few papers around, a calm pause. Just a quiet moment.

“You know,” he sighed, smoothing the papers out. “I usually start these with a song or two, but I don’t think I will this time. This is a special occasion, after all.” He looked up then, stepping slowly from around the pew, coming to lean up against the front. “As you all know, we have a new member in our community.”

Ah yes, talk about her. She flushed, ducking her head a bit when his attention flicked her way. Hopefully it wasn’t too noticeable.

“It is an extremely important event for us. While we do love our usual residents, we celebrate the chance to bring in a new face, to add more of a…” He trailed off, lifting his hands to wave vaguely, searching for the words. “Flavor to Fall’s End. We welcome anything and everything that she can bring to bear.”

Too much attention. Oof.

“She is the lovely September Mendax, as you all well know. And as more of you know…” He lifted his hand, pausing to brush his fingers over the back of his hand, over the tattooed latin words there. “I am a bit of a fan of the latin language. Old, I know. Useless. But I do enjoy it. And I find myself fascinated with Ms. Mendax’s last name.”

Oh geez, a sermon all about her. Great. She was going to explode.

“Do we know what Mendax means?” He stepped away from the podium, slowly pacing in front. “Mendax directly translates to ‘liar’.” He paused, clasping his hands together as his eyes wandered over the people there. “Liar. Hm.” He nodded faintly, seriously considering it. “Now, I find that interesting. A long time ago, someone with power decided that her family must be branded with that name. They wanted everyone who met her family to know that they had lied. Now that. That brought to mind so much more.”

Well. Yeah. That was. Um.

“Liars. Everyone lies. Everyone has said something untrue. Now. Thou shalt not bear false witness… It is one of the Lord’s ten commandments. It is written in stone that we are not to lie. Now, does that mean that all lies are the work of evil?” He kept pacing, gesturing as he walked. It was conversational, engaging, actually. Helped he was pretty.

“I believe…that no. Some lies are made with good intentions. But with the perpetuation of lies, there is the larger, outstanding issue of trust. Trust is a valuable, fragile thing. We are to trust our family, our loved ones, our neighbors and our fellow man. And yet, yet we are hurt time and time again. People break our trust, sometimes on purpose, sometimes by accident, but it still happens. Those who we are supposed to rely on can hurt us more than most.

“Those who continue to trust even when being hurt time and time again are often called weak. I call them brave, though. I think it is brave to open up your heart time and time again to let people in. To let people try, to give everyone a chance. I can understand when people don’t want to try. I understand the pain of broken trust intimately. Everyone in my family has. I understand the desire to hide away.” He paused, pressing his hands over his chest. “I understand. I just hope that everyone has a chance to find trust and peace.”

He had to pause, a smile tugging at his lips. “Now I realize that sounds cryptic for our newcomer.”

Many people chuckled lowly, Mary May patting her on the shoulder.

“I can only express how pleased I am that we of Fall’s End all have the chance to share our trust and truth with our newcomer. She comes from the city, where people are distant at best. I can only celebrate that we have a chance to show her how we live.” He looked to her again, extending his hands to her. “Welcome to Fall’s End, Ms. September.”

Someone behind her reached up to clasp her on the shoulder, a few others clapping and whooping.

It was…it was a lot. Having so many people excited to have her there, excited just that she moved in. They didn’t even know her. She so did not deserve all of that. She didn’t deserve their kindness. She didn’t deserve it so much that she laughed and ducked her head just enough to hide the tears bubbling up.

Didn’t hide it very well, though. A few people cooed in sympathy, which drew yet more attention.

Just enough that Father John came over, catching her shoulders to draw her to her feet. Once there, he enfolded her in his arms, clucking like a concerned hen. That only made her cry more, clinging to him a bit.

Overall, the whole thing was actually kind of nice. She managed to stop sniffling, sitting back down to listen to the rest of the sermon. At the end, they sang a psalm, and there were a few announcements, like Kim and Nick’s ultrasound results came in, revealing that they were going to have a girl.

It took about an hour and a half, and that was actually kind of fine with her. It wasn’t bad. It was interesting to hear what Father John had to say, even with the religious tones. And even better, at the end, everyone just kind of milled around and talked. Someone passed around beer, even if it was kind of early in the morning. It was nice.

The socializing spilled out into the front lawn of the church, where Sep found herself listening attentively as Hurk whined to his mother about the monkey gods, or some such nonsense. Either way, she was quite grateful for the…uniqueness of the people living there.

A gentle hand brushed her elbow, the warm presence of Father John coming to her side.

“Father John,” she greeted, doing her best not to scowl at herself when she realized she was tucking some of her hair behind her ear. Flirty movement. She knew herself and she was a disaster. “Hi.”

“Hello, Ms. September. May we talk?”

“Of course.” She cast a glance at Hurk and Addie, shaking her head a little. Father John wasn’t rescuing her, no, but their conversation was a bit trying. “How can I help you?”

“I wanted to thank you for humoring me. And also apologize for using your last name for my sermon. I should have asked your permission.”

“Oh no, it’s quite alright. I’m not offended or anything. Really.” Don’t touch him. Don’t- Well, she still reached out to pat his arm. Dammit. “I kind of knew what my last name meant, anyways. Not sure what the history of it was, but I kind of like the insight on it.”

“I’m glad I didn’t offend you. It felt…presumptuous of me.” He glanced down at his feet, like he was actually shy about it. He needed to stop with the cute thing. “Having the last name of Mendax could be a bad history.”

“Eh, who knows. I’m living my own history.” She shrugged, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Who cares what they’ve done? None of them lived in Montana. This is just me, now.”

His gaze lifted, a different sort of look there. It was…wider, somehow. Warmer. Happier. Prettier. “That is a truly admirable way to live, Ms. September.”

“Just Sep is fine, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course.” He pressed his hand over his heart, that smile still doing weird things to her belly. “Thank you for coming to my sermon. Did you enjoy it?”

“I did, actually! Not sure if this one was an outlier, but I found it interesting. Like…kind of like a debate presentation, you know? God was present, but it wasn’t constant praising. It’s the loud and continuous worship that gets me uncomfortable.”

“Understandable. While that does creep into my sermons, they aren’t often. I like to speak of important issues instead. Give something for our people to think about.”

“A good plan. I mean, this is nice enough that I could maybe see myself coming to these regularly.” So long as she didn’t find more reasons to cry.

“Yeah?” He lit up even more, reaching out to clasp her shoulder. “Truly?”

“Well yeah. I’d like to give these more chances.”

“Oh, you’ve made me very happy. Even to just hear that…you’ve done my heart some peace.”

Stupidly nice religious people made happy by the simplest things. She would have to keep up on it, then, if it was going to make him so happy. Him being so happy was just encouraging enough that she wanted to say something really stupid.

“Maybe you could bring your family over for dinner sometime,” she piped up, feeling the flush clear up to her ears. “I’d love to host.”

“Oh! Yes, that sounds wonderful.” And he certainly looked delighted. “When?”

“Uh, Thursday? Sound good?”

“Absolutely. I’ll get in contact with them. This will be good. Thank you so much for inviting us.”

“Anytime. You seem to be the pillar of the community. Might as well cozy up to you, right?” She let out an awkward laugh, rubbing her arm. “Any dietary restrictions I should know about?”

“Diet? Oh, no, not that I can think of. You should be fine.” He clasped her hand in both of his again, shaking it firmly. “I look forward to it.”

“As do I.” Even if she was in for a clusterfuck.

+++++++++++++

Mistakes were made. Her whole life was a mistake.

It wasn’t like her cooking had gone wrong. No no, it was going perfectly. Her casserole was baking to perfection, the salad was waiting to be dressed, the jug of tea was nicely chilled… She was the mistake. She wanted to play nice, get in good with the community, so yeah, she invited the hot pastor over with his family.

The pastor she was thirsting over. Dramatic thirst. Enough that she’d already had some dreams with that dapper motherfucker. Part of her was hoping that seeing him with his wife would be more than enough to get her to calm the fuck down.

Nah. Married men just looked hotter to her.

Fuck. She was so screwed.

Pausing in front of the tiny, crappy little mirror, she fluffed her hair with both hands. She’d showered, shaved, lotioned up, everything. No idea why she thought all that was necessary. Wasn’t like-

No. She did it to leave a good impression. Yeah. That.

While she waited for him to arrive, she flittered around her house, tidying things that didn’t need to be tidying, checking on the food even though the casserole wasn’t quite ready yet. Ugh.

The moment a truck rumbled up close to her house, she gasped in delight, hurrying over to her front window, ducking low to peek out, hopefully out of sight of her guests.

Father John hopped out of the driver’s seat, turning to speak to his wife in the truck. He paused, seeming confused, then closed the door. The passenger door popped open and-

A man hopped out. Uh. Okay. Maybe Father John was gay? No. No, there was another option. Brother, maybe. Yeah, brother. He was tall, garbed in military camo, his hair red rather than brown, like John’s. He turned to face her house, looking up to it with his lips pressed together in a grim line.

The two back doors opened, another man sliding out. He was lanky, seeming oddly serene as he moved. He said something quiet to the redhead, earning him a sharp shrug in return. Another brother, then? Huh. Weird.

Then a woman finally slid out. Had to be the wife. She was soft and cute, a lacy white dress making her look quite ethereal. She even had flowers in her hair. Pretty thing.

Prettier than her.

When no more people came from the truck, she hustled over to the door, pausing to fluff her hair again. Okay. Just be nice. Make a good impression. Everyone seemed to like Father John, so getting in good with him would make things so much easier. Right. Bravery.

Grasping the handle, she pulled the door open just as the redheaded man mounted the last step. He glanced up, seemingly startled by the sudden movement, his gaze meeting hers. Part of her, or rather, a large part of her felt a little flustered at how stunningly blue his eyes were too. Goodness. He and John had the bluest eyes she had ever seen in her entire life.

“Oh,” he rumbled, his gaze flicking over her for a second. Just oh, and nothing more.

Oh yourself. She gave him a look over too, admiring his strong forearms. They were spattered with scars, yeah, but still nice. Buff soldier dude. Nice.

“Move out of the way, Jacob,” John tsked, brushing past him to light up when he saw her. “Sep, thank you so much for inviting us here for dinner.”

“Anytime. I’m happy to host you and your family. Which…” She glanced over at them as the other two climbed up her steps. “Would you all like to come inside?”

Pulling the door open wider, she nodded to each one of them as they all filtered in. Pretty family. They all had their differences, and yet, they had their similarities. Except for the woman. She was different.

“Alright,” Father John sighed, clasping his hands together. “Introductions. This is my eldest brother, Jacob.”

The redhead. He nodded slightly, extending his hand. When she clasped it, he squeezed it firmly, shaking it once. Crisp. She liked it. He was handsome. So many bearded men in her house, she didn’t really know how to handle it.

“This is my other brother, Joseph.”

Talk about eye contact. He moved forward, extending both hands to her as he looked at her steadily. Blue eyes again. Such pretty eyes. She had to comply, placing her hands in his. Immediately, his fingers closed around hers, his grip warm and dry, his thumbs rubbing over the backs of her hands. Lots of touch. Lots of look.

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Joseph said softly, a familiar smile touching his lips. Just like John. “Welcome to Hope County.”

“Thank you.” She was so red in the face. She knew she was. Thank goodness for makeup. Thank goodness she had thought to put some on.

“And this is my sister, Faith.”

Sister? A sister. All siblings. Oh. Well. That was…something different.

Faith bounded forward just as Joseph let go of her, clasping her hands as well. A bright, ecstatic smile spread across her face, a delighted giggle leaving her throat. She was pretty. And sunshiney.

“John’s told me so much about you,” she gasped, stepping around to, forcing Sep to pretty much twirl with her. “You are just as I imagined.”

She was going to pass out from all the heat in her face. Too much blood in her brain. Goodness.

“And this is September Mendax, as you all know. She is our kind hostess for the evening.” Father John moved in, pressing his hand against her back. “And this is my family.”

So he wasn’t married? He wasn’t married. He just had a very hot family. All of them were hot. This didn’t help. None of that helped. It made it worse. Good gods above she was suffering. Too many hot people with too many pretty eyes and beards and bright sunshiney girls and fuck.

“So. Dinner’s about ready. I hope you all like…casserole.” Not the fanciest thing to make for a family. She should have made something better. She made mistakes.

“What kind of casserole?” Jacob grumbled, looking past her towards the kitchen.

“Uh. Buffalo chicken casserole.” Classy. Goodness sakes. What was she thinking?

Jacob made a strange sound, walking past her to the sitting room. She stared after him helplessly, jumping slightly when Joseph laid his hand on her shoulder.

“He approves.” There was a faint laugh in his voice. “You’ve done well.”

“Yeah?” She looked to the other two, then back at Joseph. “That was a good sound?”

“He does not communicate like the people communicate,” John shrugged, waving them on. “We have learned his sounds.”

“Right. Cool. Well, it’s almost ready. So we can…socialize a bit?” Confidence, you fuck. “Please, allow me to get us some refreshments.”

“That would be lovely.” Faith bounded past, following her brother. “What a pretty house!”

Wow. Sunshine. Sep headed off, backed by John and Joseph. The feeling of them behind her sent a shiver up her back and definitely make certain things warm and other things get hard. Fun combo. It was a little intimidating.

Jacob had no troubles making himself comfortable. He was draped across her couch, staring blankly out a far window. Faith was flitting around like a butterfly, taking in every detail, admiring every little thing. Joseph just glided on past her, patting Jacob’s let to get him to free up some space for him to sit as well.

She didn’t wait to see what John did. She just hustled into the kitchen, grabbing her few good glasses and the jug of tea. She felt so nervous. Good gods.

Passing out the glasses, she topped them off with tea, smiling at each one as she went. They were pretty. Dammit. Once they all had their drinks, she sat down in her chair, trying to not look like she was clinging to her goddamn cup. So many blue eyes. Holy shit.

“So,” Joseph sighed, humming appreciatively at her tea. Nice. “What brings you to Montana?”

“Oh, just a hope for a new life, you know?” She shrugged, tapping her finger on an ice cube that stuck out from her tea, stirring it that way. “New scenery. And with what little money I earn, it was nice to know that I could afford a house.”

“Where’d you come from?” Faith piped up, turning from her post in front of the window. “Was it nice?”

“I’m from California. Lived there for a long time. Expensive. Hot. Super expensive.”

“I remember California. It was…nice there.” Joseph set his tea down, leaning back on the couch. “I only visited it shortly. What is it that you do?”

“I’m a writer. Of all kinds.” Funny how Joseph took the lead. Father John just sat idly by, sipping his tea, listening attentively. Joseph felt like he was the eldest brother, naturally a leader. “So I was kind of happy to hear that I could write from here, you know? Good internet and a house.”

“A master of words. Admirable.”

“So. Um. What do you guys do?” Yes, good, engage with them. Try to make eye contact with all of them. Sound confident.

“Ah yes. Just as John does, I am a pastor further north in Hope County. Gods speaks to me just as He speaks to John.” Joseph crossed his legs, laying his hands neatly over his lap. He looked oddly regal. Intimidating.

Right. Interesting. “And you, Faith? May I ask what you do?”

“Oh, yes! I work at the rehabilitation center by the river. It does my heart good to help others fight past their addictions.”

Sep could see that. Faith would inspire anyone to get over their addiction. She would be inspired if she had something plaguing her.

She went to say something more, but was cut off by the buzz of the oven going off. “Oh!” She gasped, hopping to her feet so she could rush off. It wasn’t like the casserole was at risk for burning, but she needed to have a moment away from the family. That family was a lot. They were a hell of a lot. Faith was super pretty, Jacob had that gruffness, Joseph was intense, and John was charming. All of them had those intense blue eyes that just bore into her, saw everything she had ever done.

There were some kinks in there. Definitely. And two of them were religious and she needed to calm the fuck down.

“Okay! Dinner’s ready!” She called back, turning to get her oven mitts.

Joseph was there, though. Right behind her.

She yelped, a hand flying to her chest. Don’t back into the oven.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Allow me to help.”

“Uh. Sure. Yeah.” She shuffled aside, watching as he put the mitts on, taking the baking dish from the oven. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Happy to help.”

He even helped her dish it out, portioning out onto the plates. And he even stood close. He had a thing with personal space and she didn’t hate it. She was a horrible person. Father Joseph. Goodness sakes.

Taking all the plates back to her dining table, she found that they had already decided on the seating arrangements. She was to sit at the head of the table, apparently, according to Joseph’s nod. Joseph sat at her right, Jacob on her left. Faith sat beside Jacob, and John beside Joseph.

She wasn’t sure how to feel about being at the head of the table, but she was the hostess. Still felt like Joseph should be at the head. But she sat where she was assigned. Okay.

“Well, hope it satisfies. I also made…ah. I made a…” Quick, call it something else. “Grit cake?”

“Even I heard the question mark on that,” Jacob grumbled, picking up his fork to stab at his salad.

“It did indeed sound like a lie. Would you like to try that again?” There was no accusation. Joseph presented it gently.

“Ah. It’s called basbousa. It’s an Arabic dessert. It’s got semolina and…well, it’s kind of like grits and syrup.”

“Oh, fancy,” John oohed, grinning at her just before taking a bite of his salad. “I’ll make sure to save space.”

“Now Jacob,” Faith piped up, nudging her brother with her elbow. “She asked what we do. You need to answer now.”

He grumbled, glancing up. “Veterans Rehabilitation.”

“And the animal shelter. Don’t forget the animal shelter.” John grinned brightly at the scowl he earned. “Big bad soldier is an animal lover.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Sep protested, looking at the grumpy man beside her. “That’s a nice combination of things to do. I admire you for doing that.”

Sitting there with them, talking to them felt weird. Even Father John’s personality seemed to change when he was well settled with his family. There was familiarity, comfort, and yet she…she kind of felt like they had accepted her there. They were nice. And they all had such different vibes.

She had no worry on whether or not her food was good. They all mowed through her casserole with ease, especially Jacob. He had about three heaping servings, and when Joseph pressed him to share his opinion again, he just grunt, shoving a forkful of chicken and noodles in his mouth. They even liked her dessert. A successful dinner, she had to admit.

They ended up all sitting on her front porch, sipping tea and enjoying the cool evening. Slowly but surely, she was getting more comfortable with them. But then again, she hadn’t said anything embarrassing yet.

It was a nice silence, the crickets chirping, the breeze brushing by. It was nice. Quiet. Peaceful.

“So why did you really move out here?”

Eh? She glanced beside her, at Joseph. Damn man had his attention all focused on her again. “Pardon?”

“Why did you move out here?”

“I…because I could afford a house?”

“You are fond of lying.” No accusations. “You need not hide your truth from us. We do not judge.”

Uh. She glanced at all the others. John and Faith were looking at her attentively, while Jacob just stared at his hands. “I’m sorry? I’m not quite sure I understand.”

“No one moves to Montana just because they could buy a house,” Jacob grumbled, glancing at her.

“We have no judgements here, child. You are safe.” Joseph rose from his chair, coming around to stand in front of her. Taking her tea from her hand, he set it aside, just so he could take her hands in his. “You need not hide from us.”

“I don’t…” She had to be pale. She felt pale. Why was he staring at her so much? “I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“Trust, Sep,” John added, leaning forward in his chair so he could see her. “You can trust in us. You can trust in him.”

“I didn’t invite you guys to dinner for confession. What the heck, guys?” There it was. Dinner was falling around her. Goodness sakes.

“Did you leave because they judged you?” Faith hoisted herself up on her porch railing, swinging her feet. There was sympathy in her eyes. Didn’t excuse them for their nosiness. “Did they not accept you for who you are?”

“We judge not on homosexuality, child. You need not bear shame for it.”

“I’m not! I’m- That’s none…” She growled, trying to tug her hands away. “I’m…I’m pansexual. Okay? Yeah, I like men and women. But that’s not why I left. California is pretty much the most accepting place in the States. Why would I move to Montana if I was worried about being judged for being queer?” Sep’s gaze flicked up, meeting those damn blue eyes with as fierce of a glare as she could manage.

Couldn’t maintain it, though. Such a fucking gentle look. Fuck Father Joseph. Fuck him.

His head tilted to the side a bit, just staring at her. Seeing into her fucking soul. “Someone has hurt you. You run from them and what they have done to you.”

There it was. If she had any blood in her face, it was all gone then.

A sad smile touched his lips. Understanding. “You need not be ashamed. We all have our demons. And when you are ready, I will listen.” He let go of one of her hands, reaching up to stroke a touch over her hair. “We understand the pain, child.”

Her eyes fluttered shut when he leaned in, her breath hitching when he pressed his brow to hers. It felt a little bit like being touched by a saint, which, maybe he was.

“Whenever you need to talk, you will find an attending ear in the Seeds. We understand.” He gave the back of her neck a stroke before he pulled away, backing up. “Shall we go home then?”

She couldn’t move. She just sat there, eyes closed. She could hear them getting ready to leave. Someone squeezed her knee, someone tucked her hair behind her ear, and finally, someone cupped her face with both hands.

“I am sorry. My brother can be a little…intense. I do hope to see you at church again this coming Sunday.”

John could go fuck himself. They could all go fuck themselves. She just mumbled. No way she was going to move.

She listened to them get into the car. She listened as they drove away.

Fuckers. All of them were fuckers. How dare they push into her personal life. There wasn’t anything but her irritation while she cleaned up from dinner. She took an angry shower, and went to bed angry.

She was still angry when she touched herself to the thought of all four of the fucking family.

Still angry.


	3. Lamb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John comes begging for forgiveness, and it is Joseph that shows her what she is meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started to get kinkier than I intended. Sorry not sorry.

She was a respectful adult. Mature. Extremely mature.

And she was totally avoiding Father John.

Taking deep breaths, she scowled down at the ground, drawing the weight up to her chest, then lowering it down slowly. There was something really nice about lifting weights outside. Nice breeze. Clucking of chickens.

No obnoxious family members pressing into her personal issues.

Dropping her weights on the ground, she huffed, standing up straight to roll her shoulders. Fuck. It had been two weeks since she had that disaster of a dinner. Pushy fuckers. How dare they push into her personal life? How dare they want to know her reasons? It was none of their business.

She kept fucking thinking about their fucking blue eyes. Fuck.

Ducking down, she grabbed up her bottle of water, chugging it. Angry drinking of water. Nice. Way to go.

They were so fucking rude. How dare they? She was being nice. She had been nice and fed them and they had pushed into her personal life like they had some kind of right to know. How dare they? How fucking dare they? Fucking religious people. Fuck.

She needed to get groceries. She couldn’t hide in her house forever. She had to run the risk of running into him, as it was. It wasn’t a surefire thing that they would run in to each other. She needed food.

Fuck.

She really needed to get a car.

It was a long walk into town, but she managed to make it all the same. Thankfully, the little farmer’s market was still up, allowing her to get everything in one place. All that natural organic food was going to be the death of her if she wasn’t careful.

She had never seen such red tomatoes. Absolutely remarkable. She kind of just wanted stare at them forever. But she needed to buy them. Pick some tomatoes and buy them. Just buy the fucking tomatoes.

She was wasting time. The longer she stood there, the more likely it was that John would-

“Ms. September.”

Fuck.

She sighed, turning on her heel to see the overly sad eyes of Father John. Right. She knew it was going to happen. “Hi John.”

He was wringing his hands. He was wringing his fucking hands and he looked absolutely distraught. “You haven’t been to church.”

“No, I haven’t.” That came out way too irritated. Chill.

“It’s because of me, isn’t it? It’s because of dinner.”

“Yes, John. It is because of dinner.” Set down the tomato before grip becomes too tight. “How dare you? How dare all of you? Like really? How dare you push into my personal life like you have some kind of claim to it?” Turning on her heel, she stalked off to another stand, back of her neck prickling. John had to be following her. Fuck.

“We just care, Sep. We want you to be happy here.”

“Oh go fuck yourself.” She really needed to calm down. He was a goddamn pastor. “You don’t need to know why I moved here in order to make me happy. Not prying into my shit makes me happy.”

“If Joseph brought it up, it’s because he knows you are still suffering. He’s very intuitive on that.”

“I don’t fucking care.” He was just going to keep following her, wasn’t he? It was going to make it really fucking hard to shop. Why even try at that point? She just dropped her basket on the ground by the stand, turning to fix him with her glare. “I’m not one of your flock. I’m a godless, pansexual, polyamorous heathen. Stop wasting your time with me.”

Yes, good. She turned away, cursing the walk she would have to do to get back home. She really, really needed to buy a car.

“September, please!” His hand clamped on her arm, stopping her angry escape. “Please. Just let me apologize. Let us apologize. We didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She actually growled, low in her throat, turning to face him. All anger faltered when she saw how absolutely destroyed he looked. Eyes wide and wet, everything just broken down, desperate, focused on her.

Inappropriate. She should really calm down, level out, work things out with him like an adult. He was the local pastor and she was going to fuck herself over if she wasn’t careful. But gods, she ached. She wanted to reach for him and hold him and apologize and never, ever make him look that way ever again.

“Please.” His voice actually cracked, what the fuck.

“John, really? Come on.” Glancing around, she moved closer to him, if only to keep him shielded from everyone else. “Is this really so important?”

“Yes, it is. My family, they…” He glanced down at his feet, shifting back and forth. “They really did like you. And if we were to lost contact with you, that would disappoint them greatly. I hate to disappoint my family, and I’d hate to disappoint you.” When he reached up, when his hand settled on the back of her neck, she felt those terrible stomach flips that she had absolutely no right to feel. “I like seeing you, be it in church or in town. It hurt to have you lock yourself away.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“But I want to.” With a tug, he drew her in. Part of her hoped for a kiss, but she was satisfied enough with him pressing his forehead to hers, just like his brother. “We all do. Please. It’s strange for Jacob to like anyone. It means something that he has asked after you.”

“Oh.” Hard to read him, then. “Really?”

“Yes. And Joseph has asked about you as well. As has Faith. They all enjoyed your company, your conversation, and your food. Not that the last part is important.” His grip tensed, ever so slightly. “I was the first to meet you. I was the one who accepted your invitation to dinner. You are in my town. It is my responsibility to make sure you are happy.”

That was weird. All of it was weird. She should point that out. “I just…I can’t believe you guys would all jump me like that. So presumptuous.”

“It’s how we are. We pretend to know so much.” He laughed softly, hand sliding down to rest on skin, the side of her throat. “Will you give us a chance to apologize?”

“This is just weird, John. You have to know this is weird. Do you do this for everyone in your flock?”

He chuckled, drawing back enough so they could make eye contact, but still so intimately close. “My family has never approved of someone in my flock in such totality. You must be something special.”

Gods their faces were close. She had to be red as one of those tomatoes she had been admiring. It had to be creepy. The whole thing was creepy. It should be creepy. She was just flustered about it.

“I’ll give you guys a chance,” she huffed, reaching up without thinking, her hands pressing against his chest. Mistakes were made. It was entirely too intimate. He didn’t seem to mind.

“Good. Good.” He drew her in again, pressing a gentle kiss to her brow. “Do you have time now?”

Now? Uh. “I guess? What were you thinking?”

“I can take you to Joseph’s church. You can talk to him.”

“I’m not going to confess anything. You guys still don’t have a right to know what happened to me.” Honestly, she should go home and ignore him for longer. But with the way they were holding on to each other, she didn’t really want to go anywhere.

“Of course. Yes. Come on, then.” He drew away, but not by much. “Joseph will be happy to see you. He’s asked about you.”

Cryptic. Glancing back at the market, she let Father John lead her away to his truck. Really, she should be more careful about getting into trucks with strange men. But he was a pastor. It was fine. He was fine.

Setting down in the passenger seat, she heaved a big sigh, rubbing her face. So much drama in Montana. What the hell. She just wanted to settle down just a bit more. Not thirst after a religious man. Not have him make her feel weird things.

“Thank you for giving us another chance. I really do appreciate it.”

“Yeah yeah. Don’t make me regret it.” She cast a glance his way, huffing at his brilliant smile. “Don’t look so excited.”

“Sorry.” He cleared his throat, focusing forward as he pulled onto the main road. “I just didn’t like the idea of you avoiding us.”

“Oh my god, why? Why? I’m just some weird person who came into town. Why do you friggen care so much?” Don’t throw a tantrum. Don’t be a shit. “I’m hardly a regular at your church. We talked once, then you came to dinner. That’s it.”

“It’s…complicated.” He sighed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Really. I cannot express just how strange it is that my family agree on something, especially when it has to do with another person. We…” He trailed off, lips drawing tight. “It’s just important.”

Oh. She bit her lip, feeling just a thread of guilt in her belly. There was something there. Something more. But, just as she didn’t want to share her history, he didn’t have to share his.

“I’m sorry.” It came out without her thinking about it. She had to apologize. She was freaking out. “I’m just not used to anyone actually wanting to know me.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Genuinely curious.

“Because I have a grating personality.” That was putting it nicely. “You saw how much I lashed out. I do that all the time to people who genuinely care about me. And I can only assume that you guys care about me in some manner.”

“We do. There’s something special about you.” He shifted a bit in his seat, the truck rumbling over a bridge as they headed towards one of the two islands at the crossroads of the river. “And I should stop saying that because I will end up making you panic again.”

“That’s probably a good idea.”

They chuckled together, falling back into a quiet peace as they drove. Part of her wondered if she was really getting herself into problems. Lusting after religious men, walking awkwardly through the wilderness, genuinely just causing problems. She’d ease into it, surely. She was planning on staying there for a good long time. She would have to get used to it, right? Lest she cause more problems.

She woke back up when they rolled up to a fenced in compound. There were many buildings settled in the area, with a church back by the riverbank. Kind of cozy. A few people milled about, some farming, some pruning some flowers. It was a nice little compound, actually. The fence was a little weird, but she would take it.

John drove them right up to the church, turning off the truck. “Alright. You excited?”

“To see Joseph?” Weird question. “Why would I be?”

“Didn’t you like him?” John hopped out, leaving her to stare after him for a little longer. Whatever. Weird people, weird family.

Sep followed after, glancing over her shoulder at the rest of the compound. A few of the people there looked at her curiously, but otherwise, she was ignored. It wasn’t like she expected anything else.

“Come along then,” John called out, smiling at her when she turned to meet his eye. He even offered his hand to her. Stupid hot pastor.

She moved forward quickly, taking his hand. She couldn’t very well ignore it, after all. That would be rude. They kept holding hands as they walked up to the church, with him pushing the door open. Felt a bit weird to be walking into a church while holding hands with a man. That was…strange.

The church was quite similar to John’s, which probably meant that they were built by the same people. Made sense, as it was in the same county. At the altar, Joseph stood, flipping through a stack of papers, his brow furrowed. With the faint tint of sunlight coming through the windows, he looked oddly holy. And handsome. She was such a sucker for older men.

“I brought you a lamb, Joseph,” John called out, leading her on to the altar.

“For the slaughter?” Why did she say words? That was inappropriate.

Joseph hummed softly, sorting his papers into order, taking his time. “Lambs are to be taken to the meadow to grow under love and care. Lambs are precious to the shepherd.” He looked up, pulling off his glasses so he could look at her, clear and bare. “Hello, Ms. September.”

“Hi.” She waved awkwardly with her free hand, as John was still holding her hand.

“It is good to see you again. I was informed that you have been absent of late.” Stepping out from behind his altar, he approached, extending his hand to her. With no other hands to use, she took it, allowing him to squeeze it softly. “Are you unwell?”

“We-”

“Allow her to speak, John,” Joseph admonished, glancing at his younger brother. And John immediately fell silent, glancing down, as if guilty. “She has her own voice and power to use it.”

That was oddly pretty. It made her smile, gave her some comfort. “I was just…not all that pleased by our conversation at dinner.”

His brow furrowed, head tilting to the side a bit. “Ah, I see. Please.”

With a faint tug, he drew her and John over to a pew, guiding them to sit, with her in the middle. Yes, what a thought. In the middle of two attractive religious men. Snake in the garden, that was for sure.

“Tell me what we did to you, child.”

They certainly knew how to make her uncomfortable, what with making her talk when she would really not care to. Of course, what did she expect when she agreed to come see the man with the staring issues? Fuck those eyes.

“I just…you guys don’t deserve to know why I’m here. You barely met me, and you already pushed so deep into my business. That’s not right.” Her hands tensed tighter on theirs, squeezing just a bit too tight. “It pricked me the wrong way.”

“I felt kin in you. I felt your pain, and I knew I had felt it too.” Joseph spoke softly, measured. He shifted to face her a bit more, resting his other hand over hers. “In my knowledge of you, I pressed too close, too intimately. I should have premised my intrusiveness.”

She wanted to speak. She was going to, but Joseph leaned in, choking her breath away with the press of his brow to hers. And then he spoke.

“We suffered abuse as children. Cruel parents, heavy fists and sharp words broke us down for years. Through details that are not my place to reveal, my brothers and I were separated through different walks of life. It took me many years to bring us all back together again. There are still scars on our souls, and we find our healing with each other.”

Oh. Her chest clenched up tight, her breath leaving her in a shudder. “I’m so sorry,” she gasped, squeezing their hands tight. “I am so sorry.”

“No need to apologize. I just wanted you to understand that we know your pain. Because I could feel it in you. You suffered abuse from your family, did you not? You ran from those you should have been able to trust. That is why you live out here in Montana. It was the closest place that took you away from your pain.”

“Oh Sep.” John slid closer, nosing against her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

She was caged in from both sides. Two religious men on either side, holding her close, breathing her same air and she may or may not have been panicking a little.

“You are safe here,” Joseph murmured, grounding her, low tones making her shake. “They cannot hurt you any longer. We will not allow it. You are our lamb.”

Oh no. No no, don’t talk to her like that. Don’t even start. She whined at that, hunching down lower, breaking contact with Joseph. Curling in on herself, hiding away, unable to handle such gentle words. And Joseph knew. He fucking knew.

“Our lamb. Our sweet lamb.”

“Please,” she choked, shaking her head, trying to tug her hands away. “Stop. Please stop. Please.”

“Lamb.” Joseph did let go of her with one hand, reaching up to stroke the back of her neck. “Trust in us, lamb. We will not let the butcher take you to slaughter. You will dance in the fields with us to guide you. You will grow strong and free here. You are our lamb.”

Never before in her life had she been so upset, so happy, and so turned on all at the same time. It made her want to kneel for them and be their lamb, their good little lamb and there were so many problems wrapped up in all of that. She didn’t know them. They were religious and she did everything in her power to stay very far away from religion.

But despite that, she sat up, reaching for Joseph as she fought to hold in her tears. He didn’t make her wait, pulling her into his arms with a soft coo. Pressing his hand to the back of her head, he kept her pressed to his chest, kept her close and safe in his arms. Piece of shit motherfucker.

“Thank you, September,” John murmured, sliding closer until his warmth pressed against her back. His hand pressed to her thigh, his cheek to her back, caging her in again. “We’ve got you.”

Fuck them both. Fuck them so hard.


	4. Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Seeds are now taking care of Sep and she's not sure of what to do about it. She is their Lamb, after all. What does a Lamb know of a Shepherd's will?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doot doot doooooot I forgot how to write lesbian sexxxxxxxx

She still needed groceries. Like, really badly, since she’d wiped out all of her canned foods.

Ugh. Walking.

She needed to walk. She had been doing a lot of walking lately, especially after that emotional outburst with Joseph and John. It helped her think, helped her try to reason with all that shit that had happened. It helped that she had her chickens to follow after her. Company. Companionship.

Reasonable creatures.

She’d never really broken down like that before. And good god, she’d never had a man in his forties call her a lamb and break her apart so efficiently. And she’d never wanted to be broken apart like that before.

They’d let her cry for a while. She’d cried out whatever issues she had, and when everything had stopped, Joseph had wiped her face dry, kissing her brow. John brought her water, coaxing her into sipping it down. When it was all settled, Joseph invited her to stay there, on his compound. And goodness, she wanted to stay, but she had turned it down, asking to go home.

Joseph had just smiled, called her his lamb, and walked her to John’s car. And before he let her in, he pulled her into another hug. And it was a good hug. He held on for as long as she wanted. She liked good long hugs when she wanted them.

Stupid. It was so stupid how safe she had felt in his arms. And it was even stupider how she leaned up against John’s shoulder on the drive back, his hand resting on her knee. There were so many problems, so many risks with all that. It was a religious family, and the way she snuggled up against him, the way she felt…

Stupid. Really stupid.

She had to be making a mistake. There was no way what was happening was okay. There was no way that they were legitimate or…

Well, in the purest sense, it wasn’t like they were sexually attracted to her. And that was what she was feeling. Especially with the lamb thing. That was about five of her kinks wrapped up into one. Damn.

Coming to Montana was a mistake, what with that kind of shitty temptation.

Whatever. She needed to buy food.

Grabbing up a few of her shopping bags, she headed out her front door, turning to lock her door. Another long walk into town.

When she turned back, however, she had to pause. She was a little confused by Nick Rye standing in front of her house.

“Uh, hey Nick,” she called, heading to her front step. “How can I help you?”

“Hey there, Sep!” The pilot tipped his hat to her, wandering a bit closer. “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, I’m alright. Getting ready to go grocery shopping. How’s Kim and Jr?”

Like all new parents, he lit up at the mention of his little one. “Oh, Kim’s getting big! We got a new plane mobile for him and I know he’ll just love it. Going to take after me in no time.”

Right. Children. She was also pretty sure Kim said it was going to be a girl, but there was no convincing Nick of that. “Well, is there anything I should know about?”

“Oh! Right. Yeah. I had to drop this off for you.” He stepped forward a bit more, holding out his hand. She moved to meet him, taking what he offered.

Only to pause. And stare a bit. “Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“These are car keys.”

“Yeah.”

“Why are you giving me car keys?”

“Because that there’s your car.”

“Nick.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t own a car.”

“Well shit, you do now.” Nick shrugged, waving over his shoulder at the truck that sat behind him. “Which, could you drive me back into town? I really don’t want to walk.”

Uh. She blinked at the truck. It was a big truck. A nice truck. Brand new and shiny and it made no sense. “Nick? Seriously. I don’t own a car.”

“Yeah you do. I was told to deliver it.”

“By who?”

“I think it’s whom, actually.”

“Nick!”

“Geezus, alright, alright.” He waved her down, tsking. “From the Seeds. Pretty sure Joseph told me to bring it. I dunno.”

They bought her a car? They gave her a car. What was happening? What was happening right then? She had to sit down. She was sitting down. And maybe put her head between her knees a little. That was nice.

“Uh. What you’ve got here is a 2018 Chevrolet Silverado 1500. Metallic blue color. Real nice.” Nick wandered over to sit beside her, brushing his hat back. “A damn pretty truck.”

“Nick?”

“Yeah.”

“Do the Seeds often by cars for people?”

“Eh, sometimes.” He shrugged, nudging her with his shoulder. “Mostly people down on their luck that they like. So…they’ve bought about three cars for people. Usually not new ones like this.”

“Oh. Thank you, Nick.”

“Anytime.”

They sat there for a little while longer. She needed time. She was a little numb, and that was got her to stand and go to her goddamn truck. She’d never driven a car that big besides that moving truck. It was so fucking weird to drive into town in a new goddamn car. From the Seeds. What the fuck.

Her thoughts kept flipping around, over and over. There was no way to handle it. She was able to buy more groceries than she thought she could, since she had a car to carry all of them. Stocked up, she went home. With her new car. What the fuck was she even supposed to do about it?

That would not stand. People did not just buy cars for people. That wasn’t right. It wasn’t right. So she got in her new car, her new fucking car, and drove back into Fall’s End to get to church where she could say some blasphemous things to a holy man.

But she could be civil. She took deep breaths, heading up the walkway to the front door of the church. Use civil words. Be reasonable when the Seeds certainly weren’t.

John stood inside, speaking quietly with a man in uniform. Part of her faltered, concerned at the presence of law enforcement, but what could John have done? It did make her calm down a little, walking forward meekly.

“It’s not what I do anymore, Sheriff. You know that.”

“You do it for your brother. I really could use your help.”

John chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. It was almost like he was uncomfortable, but he still looked so damn confident. John seemed like he had a grasp of himself and everything he was about. “So tell me what the problem is.”

The Sheriff lit up, shifting from foot to foot. “They’re going to take my house, Father.”

John’s eyes narrowed, his stance opening up. “Why?”

“They claim the paperwork was done wrong. That I never actually owned the house.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “Weak. Underhanded, at best.”

“That’s what I thought. Then I panicked for a little while because what kind of sheriff wouldn’t have a house?” Poor old man wrung his hands, eyes wide and pleading. “I need your help, Father. I don’t want to lose my house.”

John sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh, alright. I’ll get the paperwork together. Just make sure you don’t let them talk you out of your house. You need to keep living there while we get this worked out. Do not let them get you out.”

“Of course, Father. Of course.” The sheriff nodded quickly, clasping John’s hand to shake it eagerly. “Thank you. I’ll repay you, don’t you worry.”

“God gave me these gifts to help people in need, Sheriff. I am happy to use them to help you.” John smiled serenely, letting his hand be jiggled violently. “You can trust in me as you trust in Him.”

“Thank you, Father. Thank you.” The sheriff nodded to him, backing up, still muttering his thanks. He finally turned to leave, giving her a brief nod just as he put his hat on.

Right. She flashed a smile, really unsure of how to progress. She was still mad about the car. But all of that was really weird.

“Ah, Sep! Good to see you.” He moved forward, reaching for her. She could only offer her hands to him, allowing him to clasp them tight. “How are you today?”

“I’m- No. Hey. Shut up.” Wouldn’t let go of her hands, though. “What the fuck is going on with the car?”

“Such a foul tongue.” He tsked, shaking his head a little. “But it’s a car. What more need be said about that?”

“People don’t buy other people cars, John. That’s not a thing people do.”

“We do. Didn’t you need a car?”

“So? That’s not an excuse to buy a car.” She finally got her hands free, crossing her arms over her chest. “What am I even supposed to do with all of this?”

How dare he look so genuinely confused? “You drive it. That is what you do with cars.”

“But… Why did you buy it? And don’t you start with me being in need. Lots of people are in need and cars are not bought for them. And aren’t pastors poor? How did you guys afford it?”

John hummed, shrugging. “As you just witnessed, before I was a pastor, I was a lawyer. I made good money from it. Buying a car for you was my absolute pleasure. Joseph said it might be a good idea, so I followed his word.”

“I…Joseph said to buy me a car?”

“Of course.” He reached up, cupping her face with both hands, smoothing his thumbs over her cheeks. “You are our lamb. We will take care of you.”

“This feels weird. You can’t seriously just…this is weird. I feel weird.” Her heart was pounding, head airy and distant. “What did I agree to?”

“Just breathe, lamb.”

“Stop calling me that.” Her eyes closed, hands pressing over his against her face. “Stop.”

“Lamb.” He kissed her brow, such close intimacy, completely ignoring her requests. “You don’t need to resist us. We do this because we care, lamb.”

“I’m a godless heathen, dammit. You guys shouldn’t care so fucking much.”

“It is your lack of belief in God that makes you so important to us. You are the mediator, the nonbeliever that makes my work all the more important. You make me centered, acknowledge that God is not the answer for everyone, lamb.”

Too fucking intimate. It felt like she’d been initiated by some goddamn cult. She should run for the fucking hills, but it was all she could do to stand there and not squirm because she was stupidly turned on to an extreme amount. Her legs were shaking. He was the only thing that was holding her up.

“You know, I think you should go and have lunch with Faith. I think you’ll like it.” He kissed her brow one more time, shifting his grip to clasp her hands, drawing her over to the door. “I can drive you there.”

She was kind of too out of it to say anything about it. She just followed after, more than a little dizzy. He really had to help her into the car, chuckling at her whine.  
It was a long drive. She spent most of it being very confused about the turn her life had made. And she really had to consider if she was actually in some kind of danger. Religious people suddenly coming around, adopting her and calling her a kinky nickname, it was all too much. She should set some boundaries.

But she didn’t. She stayed quiet the whole drive, and John let her stay quiet. He let the radio play on low volume, just enough background sound while he drove with one hand on her knee, his touch entirely too warm even through her pants.

A long, winding road led to an ornate iron fence. A sign to the side stated it as a rehabilitation center, and she could understand that. It was a serene area, a perfect place for those torn apart by addiction. Maybe she should see what kind of addictions they helped with. Maybe they could help her with her absolute need to be called soft nicknames by hot older men. That was an addiction, right?

“Here we are.” His voice was soft, like he was worried he would startle her. “Let me give her a call, let her know we’re here. Do you want to lean on me while I do?”

No. That was stupid. “Yes please.” For fuck’s sakes.

“Come here, lamb.” His arm hooked around her, drawing her in close. It was nice to settle against him while he called his sister, her eyes half closed. It was like being drugged, soothed by his presence by the whole family. It was definitely too much to take in by so many levels.

Maybe she fell asleep a little. Maybe she was drugged. She had no idea. Everything felt a little out of her control.

“You okay, lamb?”

“I told you to stop calling me that.” Maybe she could have been more convincing if she didn’t sound like she was drunk.

“I will when you stop enjoying it.” He gave her knee a squeeze, then patted it sharply. “But come on. Faith is coming out for lunch. She’ll give me a call when you’re ready to go home, and I’ll come pick you up. Okay? Just relax and enjoy a picnic.”

Picnic. Right. Okay. She gave a quick smile, nodding a little. She could use some lunch.

He sighed, brushing his knuckles over her cheek. “It takes a lot to follow his words, at times. Can’t break schedule, though. He knows what works.” He gave a sad sort of smile, resigned. “Be good, lamb.”

Cryptic. Bit of a strange thing to say. She still did as she was asked and slid out of the truck, closing the door quietly behind her. Like a good little lamb. Gods above she was so fucked up. All of it was fucked up and she had no control over herself or anything else that happened.

Sep wandered on towards the front of the building, patting her hands awkwardly on her thighs. Okay. Just lunch with Faith. That was cool.

“Lamb!”

Oh come on. Sep sighed, turning towards the sunshine incarnate that was waving her down. She was lamb to everyone, eh? Great. She had to wave back though, especially when dealing with such a cheerful person.

Faith giggled, trotting over a bit with a basket swinging from her hand. Once she was at Sep’s side, she handed the basket over to her, then clasped her free hand, giving her such a pretty smile. Her attention, however, flicked over past her.

“Oh John, always so protective. Go on! I’ve got her!” Faith waved happily to her brother, shooing him on.

Right. Sep glanced over her shoulder as the Father waved at her, then drove away. Protective. Kind of. Maybe. She had no idea.

“Thank you for agreeing to have lunch with me! I’ve been wanting to spend time with you.” Faith tilted her head to the side slightly, angelic, serene. “John’s greedy and holds you all to himself. You are his neighbor, after all, so I suppose it is fair.”

What in the world was going on. With all of them. Really.

“Come on, I know a great place to eat.” Faith tugged on her, turning to walk across the dirt road and into the field surrounding the shelter. “I like open fields and grasses and flowers. And I like, when you’re quiet, you can hear the way the wind whistles through the grass. Its like being by the ocean.”

Such sunshine radiated from her. Part of her wanted to be irritated, but Faith was so…lovely. Everything about her was so kind and sweet. A small part of it was refreshing when so many people in the world had been so angry and closed in. Faith was light and air.

“Here, by these trees.” Faith tugged her again, drawing her into kneeling in the grasses. “This is usually where I have my lunch when I’m not doing activities with my group. The peace settles my thoughts.”

Sep hummed, glancing around. Faith got busy with dishing out their lunch, humming as well, only a tune in her throat to create such a sweet air. It was like sitting beside an angel.

“We have a good cook in the shelter. I had her make some sandwiches for us! She made a few different kinds, so if there is one that you don’t like, you can just have a different one.”

Funny how that worked. Sep turned her attention back to Faith. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. Anything.”

“Why are you guys all being so nice to me? Why did John buy me a car?”

“Oh he did already! Is it nice? Do you like it?”

Really? That was what she was going to focus on. “So this had been previously discussed in your family.”

“Oh yes. Ever since dinner. Joseph saw that you had no car and commented on it. John volunteered to buy you one, and now you own one! So? Is it nice?”

Ugh. Not helpful. She sighed, covering her face with her hands. “Yes, it’s a nice car. I’m just trying to understand why your family thinks that this is a normal thing to do for someone. That car looks expensive. That car looks like it’s worth more than all the money I have ever had. People don’t just spend money like that on random people.”

“You’re not a random person.” A soft pout came to her sweet lips, her delicate hands resting on Sep’s. “You’re our lamb!”

“What does that even mean?” She was going to freak out and hit someone in a moment.

“Joseph told you! We are your shepherd, and you are our lamb. We’ll take care of you. Now come on, we should eat. Do you want turkey, salami, or roast beef?”

“Roast beef.” Ugh. She wasn’t going to get a straight answer out of any of them, she just knew it. She was going to dance around actually learning things for ages.

Her choice made Faith light up again, which in turn made Sep feel a little better. She couldn’t bear to be the one to make Faith unhappy.

The sandwich was pretty good. Soft bread, probably homemade, and the roast beef? Perfection. It was kind of nice to sit in a field with Faith and just eat. And, the longer they sat there, the more butterflies Sep started to notice. Pretty things with blue wings, luminous and graceful, lit upon the grasses, and even in Faith’s hair. The whole thing was ethereal, relaxing, and maybe a little worrisome. It couldn’t have been real life.

“Why do you like to write?”

“Eh?” The sudden talking made her twitch slightly. “Excuse me?”

“Why do you write? Why did you choose that as your career?” Swiping her thumb against the edge of her lips to clean away a smear of mayonnaise, Faith lifted her perfect brows at her. “Was it for convenience or joy?”

“Oh. Uh.” Sep shrugged, pinching her sandwich flat a bit too tight so she could take a bite. Chewing gave her time to think. Once she swallowed, she shrugged again. “Because I like to write. I’m good at it. And it pays the bills. I like the idea of having a job that doesn’t make me depressed, you know?”

“Oh, I do know. I know that very well.” Faith shifted, tucking her legs up under her. The movement finally made Sep notice that she wore no shoes. Did she even have shoes to begin with? “That’s why I started working here at the shelter, for rehab. Because I was an addict once.”

“Really?” Color her skeptical. “No way.”

“Yes. Ever since I was a young teenager. I was fourteen, I think, when I first started. I thought it would help me with my depression, my loneliness. It became my everything.” A sad sort of smile touched Faith’s lips, sad enough that it made Sep want to do anything to just make her happy again. “Drugs were all that I knew.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, Faith.”

“Don’t be.” She looked up again, smiling a bit brighter, a bit more hopeful. “I’m not actually a Seed, you know. Faith wasn’t even my name. But I took the name. I like the name. Joseph named me. You see, he found me. He was looking for his brothers when he found me in an alleyway.” She paused, biting her lip, lacing her fingers together like she was trying to weave some complex knot. “I remember his touch on my cheek, his words. I had so wanted to die, but when I looked at him and the gentle compassion on his face for me, I just… I wanted to live, for him. He cared for me when no one else did, and he didn’t even know me. Joseph’s just like that, you know?”

Uh. Was that what they were doing for her? Were they going to adopt her?

“He took care of me, helped me recover. I don’t know if I would have ever gotten over my addiction if not for him. And then, when I was better, he took my hands and he offered me the chance to be in his family. He said I was his sister, would always be his sister, but I could leave on my own if I wanted. And I knew then that I always wanted to be with my family. I wanted to be with Joseph, to call him my brother and to know that someone finally cared about me.” Faith looked up at her, her hair gentle curls around her face, so damn pretty that it made Sep more than a little upset. “Joseph has so much love to give. I am so grateful that he chose to give some to me.”

“I’m happy for you. Really.” Sep smiled back, reaching out to lay her hand over Faith’s. “I’m happy that you found a family.” When she said them, her stomach twisted up a little. Were they going to offer her a place in their family? Was that what they did? Gods, how horrible would that be, what with how much she wanted to be with them. What a thought. What torture.

“Some people need families. I needed one. I’ve never needed anything else.” Faith shrugged, turning her hands over so her fingers tickled over Sep’s palm. “Do you know what you need?”

“Money,” Sep snorted, kind of regretting it. It was a serious moment, but she didn’t exactly want to acknowledge what it was that she actually needed. Maybe a chance to understand all the bullshit going on around her. That would be nice.

Faith giggled, shaking her head. “No no, you need a shepherd!”

There it was. “What does that even mean, Faith? I’m so confused. Please explain this to me.”

“It means you need someone to guide you, a strong yet gentle hand to keep you on your path. If I were your shepherd, lamb, I would show you that there is joy in everything, light and love in the wind and air and that it is okay to revel in it. There is darkness, but don’t let it keep you from the light.”

Kinky. Still didn’t explain everything. Maybe she should-

Faith reached up, her hand smooth and soft against Sep’s cheek. “Let me show you the love in the world, lamb.”

Sep’s brain sputtered out and died. It had to. It certainly wasn’t in her head when the pretty and graceful Faith Seed leaned in and kissed her. Nope. No thinking was happening anymore. Not at all.

Gods above, Faith was so soft. Her lips were soft, her kiss even more so, her hair a gentle brush against her skin when the breeze blew. It took absolutely no thought to kiss back, even if it was probably a mistake.

Faith drew back, laughing softly, her hand sliding down to press against the side of her neck. “Good lamb!”

What in the world was going on? She wanted to ask, but Faith was kissing her again and words seemed unimportant. They were especially unimportant when Faith pushed on her shoulders slightly, getting her to lean back just enough so Faith could straddle her waist. Okay. Things were happening.

“You can touch me, lamb. Please touch me.” Such sweet pleading. Hard to say no, but it really had been such a long time since Sep had been with anyone, much less someone so pretty. Faith must have known, because she took Sep’s hands and guided them to her thighs, helping her slide them up under her dress, ever so slightly. “Do you want to touch me, lamb?”

“Yup,” Sep choked, flinching a bit at her word choice. Yup. Wow.

“Then go on! I want you to.” Faith pressed a delicate kiss to the edge of her lips, then her cheek, then her jaw. She laughed when Sep fell back, chin tilted back to expose her throat, but she complied. Sweet kisses fell upon her throat, warm and soft, like butterflies alighting on her skin.

Sep slid her hands up Faith’s thighs, fingertips tensing as she got up higher and higher, brushing over the edge of lace. It had been so long, but she knew how to handle the hardware. She let her hand wander in, the backs of her fingers brushing over yet more skin.

“Good lamb,” Faith sighed against her throat, combing her fingers through Sep’s hair. “You’re so lovely, you know that?”

“Not really.” Honesty, for once. “I have my moments.”

“Nonsense. All the time. I like what you’ve done with your hair. And you are soft, and yet…” Faith giggled when she touched over Sep’s arm, squeezing slightly. “You’re strong, aren’t you?”

“I try. I lift weights every day.” That sounded dumb, but it was the truth. “But I’m nowhere as beautiful as you.”

Faith sat back, head tilting to the side curiously. “A flickering candle is beautiful just as a butterfly on a lily is beautiful. They look nothing alike, but that doesn’t make one more beautiful than the other, does it?”

Uh. Well. “When you put it that way…”

Faith laughed again, reaching to her side. There was a rasp, and then she pulled her dress up off over her head and holy shit she was just in her bra and panties and she was in Sep’s lap. “So I am the butterfly, and you are the candle. You are the light. You are light.”

Geezus, Faith was beautiful. All white lace and smooth skin and just so pretty. It was on her own will that Sep reached for her then, drawing her down for more kisses, even through Faith’s delighted giggle. She could take on some power then. She knew how to have sex.

She wasn’t very good at being graceful about it though. It was a bit clumsy to break the kiss to pull off her shirt, even harder to wiggle her jeans off, but they managed it. Soon enough it was just them in the grass, slipping bras off to cup over soft breasts.

Sep broke a little when Faith pressed her lips around one of her nipples, making such a weak sound.

“Lamb,” Faith cooed against her skin, peeking up at her through her lashes. “How long has it been since someone has touched you gently?”

Years. Way too long. She didn’t have to say it, though, because Faith saw it.

“Can you be a good lamb for me?” Faith sat up, hooking her fingers in her panties, working them down her stupidly smooth thighs. “Can you be good for your shepherd?”

“Yes, Faith,” Sep sighed, greedily drinking in every inch of her. So pretty, with that noon sunlight behind her.

Faith smiled, pious, demure, sweet, as she climbed up Sep’s body and knelt over her face. “Then be a good lamb and eat.”

She could do that. She could absolutely do that. Sep groaned, hooking her hands over Faith’s thighs to drag her down until she sat on her face. It had been even longer since she had eaten a girl out, but she could figure it out. She just wanted to make Faith feel good.

And Faith was very forthcoming on what felt good. She sighed softly, smoothing her fingers through Sep’s hair, watching her through hooded eyes. She even tasted sweet on Sep’s tongue, pure and clean and good.

As much as Sep wanted to keep looking at her, she let her eyes close. It made it easier to focus, to lap at Faith’s clit for her sighs and suckle just to hear her gasps. She’d never had anyone sit on her face before. Kind of a cool thing to happen, especially when the woman in question was so pretty.

She couldn’t help but feel the pride bubble up when Faith’s breathing deepened, coming sharper and needier. It was even better when her grip tightened on Sep’s hair, becoming a steadying hold, her hips rolling forward. It was encouraging, coaxing her into licking harder and faster, just to feel her shake and gasp.

“Lamb!” Faith called out, back arching when she came, her movements becoming jerky and sharp, riding out her waves.

There was definite pride. She did that. She made Faith come. Not so bad after all for a lamb. Person. A person. She was not a lamb.

Faith sighed happily as she slid off of Sep, her hand cupping over her cheek to stroke the wetness from her lips. “Our sweet lamb. You did well.”

Sep grinned, turning her face into the touch. “Well, you were a good motivator.”

“As I hope to be. Now be good and lay still so I can tend to you.”

Oh. Cool. Sep bit her lip, resting her hand on Faith’s hip, allowing her legs to be coaxed apart, her panties pulled aside. Faith still knelt at her side, leaning down to get at her from what seemed like a difficult angle. Was still good though, when Faith kissed over her clit with those little butterfly kisses that she enjoyed so much.

Sex with a woman was so different from sex with a man. Sex usually stopped with men once they came, but when it was with a woman, it could just go on and on. It did for a while with Faith, so many kisses and touches and a lot of shared laughter. It was sweet and nice, even when Faith helped her get dressed, kissing each bit of skin just before it was covered, like she was saying goodbye.

Faith was still combing her hair with her fingers when John’s truck rumbled up.

Right. That was a thing.

“I had a wonderful lunch with you, lamb. I do hope you’ll come see me again.” Faith stood, smoothing her dress just so she could pull Sep to her feet. “Please say you’ll come and see me again sometime?”

“Of course. Yeah. I’d like that.” Beyond the sex thing, Faith was nice to spend time with. She was calming, sweet, more than most people were. Her vibes would no doubt do wonders to cool the frantic chattering of Sep’s brain.

“Good. Well, I look forward to seeing you again.” Faith leaned in, kissing Sep on the cheek. “Make sure to thank John for your car.”

Right. Yeah. She ducked her head as she turned away, heading for the truck. Gods, how awkward was it all going to be. She fucked his sister, and then she had to get in a car with him. Did he have any idea? Would she smell like sex? Goodness. What a thought.

“Have a good time, lamb?”

Ah, fuck. She smiled at John while clambering in, trying to not look like she felt guilty. About fucking his sister. “Yeah. It was a nice lunch.”

“Good. I’m glad.” He waited for her to buckle in, replacing his hand on her knee. “Want to lean on me again?”

She should say no. What she did instead was scoot closer and rest her cheek on his shoulder. She was a good little lamb, apparently. Good god. She needed mental help.

The low rumble of the truck lulled her to sleep, where she dreamt of laying in a field with the Seeds, their hands gently stroking her hair and skin and soothing her into utter relaxation, their lamb. Their sweet lamb.

Her mind had to be breaking. Being out in Montana, surrounded by strangely friendly people, there had to be something wrong with her. A weird religious family calling her their lamb, buying her things, getting cuddly when they had to have rules against that. She was leaning up against the pastor, for fucks sake. His hand was on her knee and she was sleeping on his shoulder as he drove her home. What the hell was wrong with her?

The world shifted ever so slightly, the crunch of gravel underfoot. Still didn’t make her want to open her eyes. She kept sleeping, even as the world swayed. Softness touched her back, she sank into it, letting out a soft mumble of contentment.

“Sweet lamb,” John cooed, somewhere distant, “I’ll see you soon.”

A touch on her cheek, then lips on her brow, and he was gone.

She just slept in her bed, still dreaming of being a good lamb for the Seeds.


	5. Jacob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day with Jacob is like the best day ever. Dogs and weird food and long conversations on the side of a mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up so much longer than Faith's I feEL SO BAD. Also the doggos are trained in Russian because shut up I wanted to

See the light in the world, as Faith said. See the light.

She chose to see the light in herself. She was a beautiful woman, smart, witty, and good. Also a little fucked up, but that wasn’t good. Faith saw good in the world, and in her, so she could do the same.

Sep huffed past gritted teeth, bench pressing her weights in steady reps. Helped her focus, even with her radio playing music nearby. Her chickens clucked and scratched around her, seeming to enjoy her company. It was a nice day, even if it was getting colder in the evenings. There was light in her life.

Things like her new car. That gave her light.

Sure, it was so weird that she actually had a car from a religious family. But it was a nice car, and she was able to participate more because of it. Since she was able to drive, she could go to their weird Testy Festy and eat bull testicles. She could drive on over to their tiny wildlife center and meet Cheeseburger the bear. She could help Sharky get more tanks of propane back to his trailer park. That in itself was alarming. But Sharky was nice and it was nice to spend some time with him.

And she went to church. She could go every Sunday, sit beside Mary May or Jerome or whoever else waved her down, and she could listen to John’s words. He had good sermons, good words to share even without God being put everywhere in it. It was nice to be a better part of Fall’s End.

There was the light in their generosity. She could see that. She was…she was their lamb.

She rolled her eyes at herself, sitting up with her weights to she could glance around to make sure her chickens weren’t close. Then she set them down, safely in the dirt, picking up her bottle of water.

The thing with Faith was…interesting. At one sermon, John gave her a basket with a pear crisp in it, saying that it was from Faith. The whole thing had been delicious, nice and sweet with a sort of salted caramel sauce on it. Absolutely sinful. Even worse, when she went to return the cleaned dishes, she’d asked John if there was some way she could thank Faith.

And John, the fucker, just smiled and told her that all thanks had already been given.

Cryptic. But something to be expected at that point. Bastards.

She was deep in something that she didn’t fully understand. And really, what could she do about it? She could move. But no, that was stupid. She liked the Seeds. She liked John and Joseph and Faith and probably Jacob. They were nice to her. But maybe, just maybe, she could go to Joseph and tell him seriously that she wanted it to stop. He seemed to be the leader of them, and if he knew she didn’t like it, then maybe he would tell all of them to stop. He was the first one to call her his lamb, and she did reach for him when he did. She had accepted his words, accepted the name.

And…well, did she want them to stop? Like…really?

No, probably not. She did like being called lamb. It felt safe and warm, and maybe that was the problem. They were religious, and there was no way they meant it in the kinky sense. Well, maybe Faith did. Who knew?

Once she finished lifting, she reracked her weights, cringing at the sweat dripping down her arms. She could trudge inside for a shower, but it really was warm enough outside, and her well water really was quite warm. That was what made her trudge over to her hose, cranking it on over her head. It was a bit of a shock of chill, but she got over it quickly enough. It was refreshing, in a way. A cold shower, so to speak. Wash away all those dirty thoughts about good people.

Straightening up, she let the water splash onto her face, scrubbing away dried sweat with her hand. She’d have to cook up some lunch once she got changed. Maybe some sausages that she had bought from the nice old guy down the road. He had some damn good meat. Dutch was his name. Some doomsday prepper that lived underground, but when he did come up, he sold some good shit. Also tried to buy a bunch of weed. She knew that much.

The hose in her hand shifted, tugging slightly. Maybe one of her chickens tripped on it.

“Leave the coils in the sun if you want it to be warm.”

Nope. She gasped, catching a mouthful of water, which in turn made her sputter. She dropped the hose on the ground, the water spraying over the grasses at her feet. It took a moment to blink and focus on whoever spoke, color flooding her cheeks.

Jacob Seed stood not too far ahead of her, hands shoved in his pockets, just watching her with a tired stare. Right. Uh.

“Hi,” she gasped, swiping her sopping hair out of her face. “Uh. Can I help you?”

“Don’t stop on my account. I can talk when you’re done.”

“No, I think I’m done.” Reaching down, she turned the tap off. “So we can talk.”

“Suit yourself.” Only then did he wander closer, glancing around her yard. “I’ve been sent to collect you.”

“For what?” No point in asking who sent him, anyways.

“I was told you like animals. Thought you’d like to go see the animal shelter.”

“Why?”

“Because animals are nice.” He shrugged again. “Don’t you want to go see dogs and cats?”

“Well…I mean, sure. Yeah.” Might as well. Didn’t really have any plans anyways. “Let me just go and get some dry clothes on.”

He nodded faintly, turning to head over to her chickens. They didn’t scatter at his approach, standing still, letting him pick one up. As much as she wanted to stand there and watch him cuddle a chicken, she made herself go in, hurrying up her stairs to her bathroom.

Dropping her wet clothes in her hamper, she scrubbed a towel over her skin, over her hair. There was little to no hopes in actually looking okay, so there was no point in trying. She just threw on a comfortable shirt and pants, yanking on some good shoes. Part of her wanted to stop and put on some makeup, but she couldn’t bear to make Jacob wait. Just a good dose of perfume and deodorant, and she was back out the door.

And Jacob, Jacob still sat outside, settled on her weight bench with a chicken in his lap. He had the hen’s wings spread out, his hands stroking gently over the cream feathers, the hen cooing and clucking in peace. Animals seemed to like him well enough. A soothing sight. Oddly holy, kind of.

Sep ached to not disturb it, but there was no way to sneak up on him. When she neared, he looked up, hands stilling on the hen. When he saw that she was dressed, he picked the hen up, jostling her slightly to wake her from her trance, setting her delicately on her feet. Gentle touch, gentle care, much like his sister and younger brother.

“Ready to go?”

“Yeah, sure.” She shrugged, shoving her hands in her own pockets. He did have a more relaxed aura about him, and she naturally wanted to match that, like he was some kind of cool guy and she was merely the leech.

“Come on then.” Striding past her, he took her away from her house, down her driveway a bit. It took her a moment to notice the beat up old jeep, but when she did see it, she could imagine it was his car. He was a veteran, after all. Jeeps matched that sort of air. The doors squealed horribly when they climbed in. It smelled like dirt and dogs and while it made her nose wrinkle ever so slightly, it suited him, or what she knew about him.

Part of her expected the drive to be awkward. She didn’t know Jacob, and he didn’t seem to be terribly fond of talking all that much. However, it was oddly comfortable. Maybe John and Faith had brainwashed her enough to automatically feel comfortable with a Seed. Who could say? She just stared out the windshield, tapping her fingers on her thigh along with the music on the radio. It was peaceful, quiet, a long drive, broken only about halfway through the drive when he cleared his throat.

“You’ve got any family, Sep?”

“Mm? Oh, uh, kind of? Parents are back in California, a brother…somewhere. I was never close with him. My sister lives out east. She travels the world and learns things.” Not much worth mentioning. “And here’s where I am, away from my family.”

“You liking Montana? Kind of a far cry from California.”

“It’s nice. I like nature. I like being able to look out my back window and see deer.”

“You like deer?”

“Yeah, I do. Maybe because I’m not as used to seeing them.” She shrugged, glancing over at him. “You like Montana?”

“It’s quiet. It’s nice.”

A veteran probably appreciated the quiet. And being around animals? They probably did wonders for soothing a frantic mind.

“Hold on,” he grumbled, giving her just a moment’s warning before he turned the jeep off of the road and onto a tiny dirt trail into the woods. She yelped when the branches whipped past the windows at first, but he seemed to know what he was doing. He knew that trail, driving it quickly and precisely, missing bumps and branches.

It seemed like ages until they passed through the trees, opening up into a field with a low, squat building in the middle. It looked like an old ranger station, which, it might have been at one point. It had been refurbished to have kennels out the back, a cacophony of barks and howls greeting them.

“There we are.” Jacob parked the car, turning it off. “Ready to get assaulted by animals?”

“So ready.” She looked over at him, pleased to see a light in his eyes that almost seemed like a smile. “Just fuck me up.”

He barked out an actual laugh, slipping out of the car. She hurried to follow, bouncing a bit when she matched his pace. She wasn’t great with dogs, but he seemed to like them, so she would give them a chance.

The front door chimed when he pushed it open, a teenage girl behind the counter sighing, flipping through her magazine. Her eyes dragged up, slowly, disinterested…until they landed on Jacob. Then life came to her, a small yip coming from her throat. Her face flushed, her hands frantically trying to straighten her hair, like he wasn’t standing right there watching.

“Mr. Seed! Hi! I wasn’t uh…I didn’t think you’d be here! Today!” She hopped up to her feet, big smile on her face. “I’ll just-”

“We’ll let ourselves in.” Jacob turned, touching Sep on the arm. “Let’s go.”

Wow. The thirst was real with that girl. Sep spared her a backwards glance, not really appreciating the glare she earned. Wasn’t her fault. Goodness sakes. She could be mad all she wanted. Didn’t change that Jacob was spending time with her.

A silly little thread of pride wiggled its way through her belly. Or maybe it was greed. Or some sin she didn’t really want to put a name to. Whatever it was, it had to do with the fact that a Seed was choosing to spend time with her.

She was completely and totally brainwashed, wasn’t she? The Seeds were just normal people. And Jacob hadn’t called her a lamb. So it was normal. Nothing weird was going on. She wasn’t his lamb. They were just going to play with some dogs and stuff. Because adults did that.

“Alright.” He clapped his hands together once they stepped up to the door to the kennels. “Let’s get physically assaulted.”

She snorted out a laugh, trailing after him through the door, only to be immediately greeted by the barking getting louder and more frantic. Excitement. Her heart went out to the dogs, probably all so desperate for attention and getting so little. Jacob had to be one of the few people who came to play with them.

“How are you with dogs?”

“Uh, well, I like to think I’m good.”

“Gotcha. Then we’ll start you out gently. I think the big guy here will do it.” Jacob jerked his head at a kennel with a truly massive hound in it. The big beast was just stretched out in the back, without a care in the world. “Let’s get you in there.”

Right. Massive dog. That would do it. She swallowed hard, following Jacob into the kennel, trying to not let nervousness bounce up too high in her heart when the dog slowly lumbered to its feet. It’s tail, however, started to wag wildly at the sight of the Seed.

“Hey big guy,” Jacob rumbled, crouching down. “You want to make a new friend?”

“I like friends. Um. What should I do?”

“Come here. Kneel with me.” He beckoned to her, gesturing at his side, all attention on the dog. “You know how to greet a dog, yeah?”

“Offer my hand, but don’t shove it in their face?”

“Yeah. Good.”

She did as she said, offering her hand to the big hound as he neared. It seemed like it took a lot of effort for him to turn his attention away from Jacob, but he managed it, looking at her with a few interested sniffs at her hand. Apparently satisfied with what he scented, he shuffled forward, nosing past her hand to lick at her wrist.

“Good. Perfect.”

“Yeah?” The little bit of praise warmed her. She did good. She was not good with dogs and yet somehow she did good. “I am really not good with dogs.”

“Could have fooled me.” Just as the dog snuggled up to her chest, wriggling and begging to be pet, he reached out and scratched the dog’s back, making the wagging and wriggling increase tenfold. “Come on. Let’s get it cranked up to eleven.”

Being cranked up to eleven meant going out into the fenced in yard and releasing all the dogs. Literally all of them at once. Her shriek was a mix of fear and delight, but actually a lot of fear. Not much she could do about it as she was promptly jumped by wriggling, happy dogs. Her fear promptly went away when she was licked and nuzzled against and loved with such absolute ferocity that she had no choice but to accept it.

It was a shame that she only had two hands. She didn’t have nearly enough ability to love up on all the good doggos at the same time. All she could do was run and play with the dogs, throwing as many sticks as she could to keep them entertained. Jacob did his best to help, but she found that he mostly stood back and watched.

Who knew how long she played? She just ended up stretched out in the grass, covered in dogs. Not a bad way to die, she thought. Not bad at all.

The crunch of boots on grass approached, stopping at her side. The only response earned was the tired thud of dog tails on the ground.

“You dead?”

“Get back to me in five minutes.”

Jacob snorted, a faint brush of his boots nudging some dogs aside so he could reach her. “Come on. You want to meet some really good dogs?”

“There are more?”

“Of course. My dogs. Come on.” He offered his hand to her, his eyes alight with laughter when she managed to crack hers open. “I want to introduce you.”

“Well, when you put it that way.” Gripping his hand with both of hers, she hauled herself up, yelping when dogs tried to follow. “No no, no more playing.”

“They like you. It’s a good sign when dogs like people. Dogs know more than most.” He thudded a heavy hand on her back, coaxing her back out of the shelter. “Animals are better than people in that way.”

“I like to think so. I’ve always liked animals.” Sep clambered up into his jeep, frowning when she saw the teenage girl glaring at her from the window. “I don’t think she likes me very much.”

Jacob grunted, not bothering to look. “She can’t seem to understand that I have no interest. Especially not in young brats who only work with animals because she was threatened by her parents.”

“Plus, you know, she’s so young.”

“You think so? I was pretty sure she was your age.”

“I’m not sixteen, Jacob.”

“Yeah? And neither is she.”

“Oh. Really?” She hummed, staring back at the girl. “And what are you interested in?”

“Kindred souls.”

The jeep shuddered dangerously when he started it. Older than she thought, perhaps. Still interesting to hear it, rattling on down the road, especially when she had such a nice new truck. But huh. Kindred souls. Part of her ached to ask him what he meant, but he would share if he wanted to. It wasn’t her place to press.

It was another windy dirt road, snaking up the side of a mountain. He was quiet once more, focusing on the road. And she found herself just looking at him, sneaking glances out of the corner of her eye. He was handsome, wasn’t he? Covered in scars, sure, but good bone structure. Gentle eyes, just like his brothers.

And at the top of the windy road, there was a small cabin, half tucked into the mountainside. It was rustic, homey, nice. It suited him and the air that he put off, just as sunshine and flowers suited his sister.

“Here we are. Home sweet home.”

“It looks nice.” It really did. Tucked away, quiet. Perfect place for a veteran, not that she knew him that well.

“Yeah, well. Looks can be deceiving. Come on.”

Right. She hopped out, waiting for him to come around to her side of the car. She could handle a few more dogs. He liked dogs, so she could handle more dogs. She wanted to like what he liked. Kind of. Not totally obsessed, or something. Whatever.

Biting his bottom lip, he let out a sharp whistle. There was silence, nothing, then the scratch of claws on the ground. Two dogs rounded the corner of the house, running full speed at them. No, not dogs. Too big to be dogs. Much too big to be dogs.

Oh geez.

“Jacob. Jacob. Holy shit Jacob those are wolves those are fucking wolves!” She sputtered, grabbing at him, fairly trying to climb up him as the two massive creatures barreled at them at full speed.

“Stoy!” Jacob barked out sharply, and all at once, the wolves stopped. Their paws skidded on the grass, their rumps hitting the ground with sharp thuds. Obedient and well trained, they waited for further command.

Sep stared at the wolves. They were bigger than she had ever imagined. Terrifying, actually. But she did feel a little bit better when Jacob wrapped his arm around her, keeping her tight against his side.

“Are you frightened of them, Sep?”

“Kind of? They’re wolves. They’re huge, you know. Really big.” And terrifying. They looked like dogs, but they weren’t dogs. “Why do you have wolves, Jacob?”

“They’re my companions, but that doesn’t matter right now. Are you scared?”

“A little. I’m not used to wolves coming running at me.”

“Mir,” He huffed, and the wolves laid down on their bellies in the grass, placing their muzzles on their paws. Once they were settled, he turned her to face him, his hands resting lightly on her shoulders. “You should know that you are safe with me, Sep. I assure you, when you’re with me, you will come to no harm. I can and will protect you, Sep.”

“Ah. Um. It’s okay, really. I’m just a little surprised. You said dogs and then there were wolves.” She cast a few glances at them, a weird little flutter filling her stomach when he drew her in a bit closer to his chest. “I’m okay.”

“You should be more than okay. Let’s go inside, make something to eat. We can get you settled.”

Right. She did need to eat food. “That sounds nice.”

“Alright. They’re going to stay out here. Nothing to worry about.”

He didn’t need to soothe her quite so much. She was fine. Well, she did panic a little, but what else was she supposed to do when faced with two wolves? She could play it off as cool, act like she wasn’t freaked out. Still good to walk close to Jacob. They seemed to listen to him.

The inside of his house could almost be described as cozy. Actually, it was cozy. The walls were lined with framed photographs, old, washed out pictures of soldiers in a desert. There was a framed flag, a few medals, all signs of his military career. Memories of friends passed, no doubt.

The pictures hinted at a past that she didn’t know. She wanted to know, though. She wanted to know about Jacob. She wanted to know all of them. Maybe she was nosy. Maybe she was drugged up on all of it. She had no idea.

“You like fish?”

“Mm? Yeah.” He’d continued on to the kitchen without her, leaving her to snoop. Wandering further on through the house, she came across more pictures. Family, that time. Group shots of them in the wilds, serious ones, all taken in their adulthood. Well, all but one. Only one picture was of them as children.

She knew that pain. She knew their loss all too well. While she had no idea of the specifics, there was the shared knowledge. Child abuse wasn’t something that you got over easily. She certainly hadn’t.

There was a picture there of Jacob and his wolves. He certainly looked relaxed, slumped between the two of them like he had absolutely nothing to fear. Well, he probably didn’t have anything to fear. They knew him, loved him. They were good wolves.

“Hey Jacob?”

“Yeah?”

“Sorry if being scared of your wolves hurt your feelings. They’re just…really big.”

“Hey, no. It’s okay to be frightened. They’re predators.” The distant clank of dishes from the kitchen accompanied his voice. “I should introduce them properly. Maybe then it’ll be better.”

“Why do you have wolves anyways? If I may ask.” Sep wandered through the room, into the kitchen. Kind of a cramped kitchen, but it was good enough.

“Because they suit me. They make good therapy companions.”

Oh. “I…didn’t know.” She edged closer to Jacob. He didn’t look up from the cutting board where he worked, dicing up onions, hands moving steadily. “And I disrespected them.”

“It’s alright. They won’t take it personal.” He flashed her a quick smile, entirely too charming and sweet. She didn’t deserve it, not one bit. “Come on, food’s ready.”

Sparing a glance for the Tupperware, all she saw was red. Whatever it was, she wasn’t about to question it, or him. She just smiled, nodding at him to indicate she was ready.

They headed on back out of his house, into the front yard. And still, the wolves lay in the grass, turning sat puppy eyes their way, waiting for another command. Jacob just walked past them, not even sparing them a glance, even as he barked out another command.

“Sledovat', a ne zakryvat'.”

At that, the wolves scrambled to their paws, waiting a moment to follow them at a good distance. Obedient and well trained, but good god they were still fucking massive. Their following made her walk close to Jacob, feeling just a little bit of nervousness fluttering in her chest.

Their chosen place to eat was on the crest of a hill by his house, on top of some sun warmed rocks. The surfaces of the rocks were worn smooth, almost soft by being sat on for many years. They made a surprisingly comfortable seat, warm against her back with a perfect view in front.

“Good?”

“Mm? Yeah, good.”

“Alright then.” As soon as he popped open the container, she was hit with the smell of spice and oil and it was strangely familiar. “Hope you like fish.”

That was why it was just red. It was just chopped up raw fish with onions and oil. Kind of a risk to serve that to her, wasn’t it? She could totally hate it. Fortunately for him, she was absolutely nuts for it.

She accepted the container and the skewer he offered, stabbing up a few pieces of fish. And really, there were few words to describe how good it tasted. That fish was fresh as fuck, firm and flavorful, holy shit. She hummed in delight, tapping her toes lightly on the ground.

“I take it you enjoy it.”

“Oh, yeah. This is really good.” She offered the container, only for him to shake his head. “No?”

“You eat first. Want to make sure you’re full.”

“Really, I’ll be fine.”

“I insist. Eat, Sep.” He waved dismissively at the food, staring out at the view.

Well. Okay. She could follow that order. She continued to pick at the food, doing just as he did, looking out at the hills and the trees of Hope County.

Just when she thought words weren’t ever going to be shared again, he cleared his throat.

“I have PTSD, you know. Not just from the war, not just from fighting, but since the very beginning. It was rough at home, as a child. Our parents were…there was something about them that made them need to beat us, all three of us. I couldn’t just stand by. I stood up for John and Joseph time and time again.” Jacob’s voice was low, tired. He’d felt the story time and time again, felt the memories of suffering. He shifted, fingers dragging over his chest, pulling down the neckline of his shirt to reveal scars. Lines, circles, divots, way too many.

“My father stabbed me a few times, you know, with his pen knife. Not deep enough to kill, but the pain was intense. The pain I felt was nothing compared to how I saw my brothers fall apart. I would rise up, time and time again, to take what I could from them. And when they wouldn’t stop, when I had to watch my brothers crumple under the weight of my parents, I had to do more. Even when we were taken away from our parents, we were given to another family who treated us the same. They beat us too.”

Oh geez. She set the Tupperware down, hugging her knees to her chest so she could give him her full attention. She wasn’t worthy to hear his story, certainly not anything so intimate and personal.

“One night, I carried my brothers outside. And I set their farm on fire. I burned the whole thing to the ground. And I went to prison for it. And when I got out, I joined the military. I fought and I killed with no word from my brothers, no word if I had done anything good for them. And in the war, I was stranded with one of my fellow soldiers. We had no food, no water. We had nothing. We were dying. And I knew…I knew I had to survive. I had to…”

His expression grew tight, strained. She knew what he was going to say. She didn’t want to know what he was going to say.

“I had to cannibalize my friend. He just became meat. Just meat to sustain me. And when I got back, they gave me a fucking medal. They rewarded me for eating my friend.” His lip curled with absolute hatred, focused on absolutely nothing ahead of him. “I was discharged, and put in a veterans care center. And there I stayed, trying to heal until my money ran out. And then when my money was gone, they kicked me out, onto the streets. Goes to show just how much the government really cares about people. It was on the streets that my brother found me.”

“Oh Jacob.” She scoot closer to him, pressing her shoulder against his. “I’m so sorry. Nothing like that should have ever happened to you, or to anyone.”

“It’s made me who I am. While I wish it didn’t happen, it happened. What I do with it is my choice. I just thought you should know why I have therapy dogs.”

“Thank you, but you know you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“I wanted to. I wanted you to know.” He hooked his arm around her, giving her a slight squeeze. “While I don’t know what happened to you, I want you to know that I understand. We went through such suffering, but we won’t let it get the better of us. I hope you will do the same.”

“Ah.” Right. “I’m doing what I can. It’s just hard to know what to do with it, you know? Like…what kind of person do I become? What kind of person am I already? What kind of person will I be when I’ve recovered?”

“Well that’s easy.”

“Oh yeah? How’s that?”

“You’re already our lamb.”

“Oh come on.” Not him too. Covering her face with her hands, she sighed, slumping lower. “You’re on that bullshit too.”

“It’s not bullshit. It is what you are. And I see it. I really do.”

“Jacob, please.” Tsking, Sep ran her fingers through her hair, looking out at the wilderness again. “You guys are ridiculous with this lamb bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit, though. Is it bullshit to be soft and gentle? I wouldn’t mind being a lamb.”

“But you’re a wolf, aren’t you? Wolves eat lambs.”

“Do they, though?” He lifted a brow at her, his grip gentling, his hand sliding down her arm, cupping over her elbow. “A well fed wolf has no need to feed on a lamb.” As he spoke, his wolves edged forward, closer to them.

Part of her should have been scared, but it was hard to look away from Jacob. Such an open, honest look. He believed it, completely. She was a lamb, to him. How strange.

“Come on,” he sighed, looking away, to his wolves. “You should meet them.”

“Right.” Be brave. And she could be brave, especially when his arm was around her. Everything would be fine in his arms. “Do they have names?”

“Of course they do. This one here is Spravedlivost'. Or Prav, for short.” With a touch, Jacob coaxed her into reaching out, getting her to settle her hand on the broad head of the pure white wolf. “He’s an excellent judge of people. He likes cheese and jamming his nose against my back to wake me up in the morning.”

She giggled, scratching lightly at the thick fur. Prav, in response, beat his tail against the ground, pleased with the attention. The only extra movement he did was to flick his tongue against her wrist, looking at her with wide, needy eyes.

“And this is Bezopasnost', or Bezo. He knows when I’m about to have an episode and coaxes me into solitude. His favorite pastime is licking his crotch and fresh roses make him sneeze.”

Like some kind of dumb dating website. The whole thing made her laugh, made her far more willing to pet and love up on the massive killing machines. Except they were anything but. They fairly jittered with excitement, so happy to be pet and scratched by someone new. Bezo whined, long and loud, ears pricked up and towards her, as if waiting to hear her tell him he was a good boy.

Bezo and Prav were wonderful wolves and good doggos and she felt horrible for even doubting them for a second. They would never do anything bad, goodness no. They were the best doggos that needed belly rubs and kissy sounds to get them going.

“They adore you,” Jacob laughed, fingers sliding ever so slightly over her side, under her shirt. When had his hand moved? “An excellent sign. They are my Judges. They tell me how to feel, when I should leave. And the fact that they want to stay with you is a very, very good sign.”

“Good sign of what?” She should look at him, but for some reason, she felt a blush heat her face. Reading too much into it all, no doubt. There was no way that Jacob also-

“You are a lamb, and they agree that I am to be your shepherd.”

Again. Again with the lamb and the shepherd. Her eyes narrowed at him, at the whole situation. His sister said the same thing. Joseph ad started the whole thing with the lamb and the shepherd and why the fuck were they all saying the same thing about it? It was all very suspicious. Why were they all saying the same thing? Were they really all so like minded that they would say such similar things?

“Come on. Let’s go back inside.”

Oh, really? That was surprising. She kind of expected it to go another way. A way a little bit more like Faith. Because she was filthy and didn’t deserve to be around attractive people. He could say things and she could not expect it to devolve into sex. Even if that would be extremely cool. Because she liked him. A lot.

Bezo and Prav accompanied them back to Jacob’s house, walking so close that their furry sides bumped and jostled her as they went. Her fingers curled in their fur, feeling a bit like some kind of holy person of some kind, escorted by wolves.

“So, do you have them both sleep with you at night?” It would make sense, what with them being therapy dogs. Therapy wolves. Whatever.

“Most nights. Not tonight, though.” Jacob brushed a touch over their muzzles when they entered the house, a serene smile oddly soothing. The wolves huffed, tails wagging, their claws tapping on the wood floor.

Leaving them alone. Um. The idea of it made her stomach twist up, just a little. Not like the wolves were like having people around, but it felt different. Especially when he wandered closer to her. Especially when he settled his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her with that little smile that she just knew was something special.

“If I were your shepherd,” he murmured, one hand sliding up to cup the side of her neck, his thumb brushing over her pulse. And even though he paused, she shuddered, head to toe, eyes closing ever so slightly, and the sight alone made him hum. “What are you feeling right now, lamb?”

“Um. I. Um.” Be honest. There was no way he wouldn’t see if she was lying. “Sorry if this is totally unrelated or whatever but I am incredibly turned on right now.”

“Ah. Good lamb.”

“Good?”

“Yes, good.” He moved closer, all big bulk right in front of her and yeah, she was definitely more than a little turned on. “If I were your shepherd, lamb, I would make sure you knew just how safe you were at all times. I would never let any harm come to you, would ensure that you are kept warm and protected with my Judges, and that you would never need of food. I would be your protector and provider, lamb.”

Things were happening. There was a pattern there, and she wasn’t so stupid as to not see it. And good gods above if she wasn’t incredibly well trained at that point because she was so fucking wet already and he hadn’t really done anything.

She was not left to wait, nor to be disappointed. Her assumptions were accurate, the pattern a good indicator.

Jacob’s kiss was surprisingly gentle, taking its time, no rush needed. It was like he knew he had her wrapped around his little finger, that her apparent brainwashing to the word ‘lamb’ was complete. Maybe it was. Maybe she really was so weak to being called such an affectionate nickname.

Where Faith was nothing but butterfly kisses, Jacob was a little more intense. A lot more intense, actually, with the hot slide of tongue over her lip that had her shaking. A pathetic moan filtered out of her, fingers curling in his shirt.

Something was going on. No way that two members of the same family would say the exact same thing to the same woman. At least, not on accident. There was some very intentional word play going on, and she should really figure that shit out. Later. Much later.

Jacob’s hands clamped quite suddenly on her thighs, hitching her up in one easy jerk. She huffed out in surprise, hooking her legs around his waist, squeezing him tight. It was an absolute struggle to not wriggle when his touch slid over her ass, but she managed it. Just barely. It was just better to kiss him, trusting whatever he was doing.

How silly it was, to be so enamored over just being carried. Especially when he was able to keep kissing her, even while carrying her somewhere. Talented man, wasn’t he?

The only sign of exertion was when he lowered her down on his bed. He huffed loudly through his nose, his weight actually comforting on top of her. It had been way too long, much too long since she had felt someone so close. Well, Faith, yeah, but having a man on top of her was something different.

“Come on,” he murmured against her lips, sliding his hands up her thighs. “Let’s get you undressed.”

Yes please. She wriggled back in his bed, biting her lip as she watched him. His hands were so rough, sliding up her sides, pushing her shirt up, off of her. He took a moment, settling his big hands over her breasts to knead them through her bra, his expression faltering just enough to a purely happy look.

“You like them?” Let a man get his hands on some breasts and he never needed anything else.

“Such a soft, beautiful lamb,” he sighed, fingers pinching lightly over her nipples through the padding. “Of course I like them.”

“Even better out of the bra, I think.”

“Oh yeah?” He gave her one of those soft, special smiles, brow arching up. “I think we’ll test that.”

Wow she was turned on. Like really. That kind of banter, that kind of sweet smile of a handsome man, all focused on her. It was so much. It was too much. When he slipped her bra away and pressed lips and tongue to her, she made weak sounds that she was fairly certain weren’t all that human.

And there was that soft murmur of ‘lamb’ against her skin, sliding down her belly, his hands making short work of her pants to slide them away. He undressed her so easily, so systematically, pressing her back into furs.

Furs. He had furs on his bed. Oh.

“Wait,” she huffed, patting at his shoulders. He complied with a miffed grunt, pulling back a bit. Either way, it gave her enough room to roll over a little, to look at what she was laying on.

And yeah, there were furs. So many different patterns and colors, beautiful patterns, gorgeous. It felt great on her bare skin, especially when his presence was so close behind her.

“You have an awesome bed.”

“You like it?” His lips and beard brushed over her shoulder, crawling further up her body. “Does it make you feel protected, lamb?”

“I think it’s more you that does that, Jacob.”

“Yeah?” His weight shifted, his hips pressing against her ass and yup, there was an erection there. Against her. In his pants.

“Holy fuck.” It had been way too long. Way too fucking long.

“I think I like you like this, on your belly, under me.”

Yup, okay, that was happening. He was saying things in a low rumble and she couldn’t take it. It made her feel funny all over and all she could do was whimper.

“Oh lamb,” he growled, hips jerking against her ass.

Yup, that was all it took. Groaning, she shoved her hips back against his, trying to invite him in. That was all it took.

Jacob leaned back, huffing audibly as he shrugged off his camo shirt. His tshirt came off next, but heaven forbid his pants come off. He just undid them, shoving them just enough until she felt heat brush against her ass. Oh good gods it was his cock. It had been so long.

“I want you on your knees, lamb. I want you.”

Oh please. Yes. Cool. She wanted him too but she wasn’t quite sure how to handle that. She could only press her forehead into the furs, lift her hips at his word and rest on the pillow he tucked up under her. She was a sweet lamb, wasn’t she? She was his sweet lamb.

His hand spreading her ass was the only warning she got before he brushed the head of his cock through her slick, then he sank in and filled her and she made such horrible sounds, fingers clawing at the furs.

“Oh lamb,” he groaned again, lips brushing against the back of her neck. “You’re so warm inside.”

Yeah, she was about two seconds away from coming. Yup. That was a thing that was happening. It had been so long since she’d had anyone inside of her, spreading her wide open and holy shit.

“Are you okay?” His fingers brushed through her hair, just enough of a shock to wake her.

“Huh? Yeah?” Why was he making her say words?

“You sound like you’re hurting.”

“No, it’s good. It’s so good.” So amazing, so fucking intimate. “I’m okay.”

“Good.” There was that growl again, accompanied by his hand curling around her throat, tugging until she was forced to arch back, somehow allowing him to thrust in even deeper. “Now be a good lamb and take me.”

Holy fuck. There were those horrible sounds of hers, so nicely caused by his first hard thrust into her. All she could do was take under him, hold on to the furs and sob and moan like some kind of feral creature.

Or, really, more like a lamb.

He growled like an animal when fucking her. It was absolutely sinful, that was for sure. His sounds, the feeling of him, all of it was so much to handle.

“Come on, lamb.” Right in her ear, all purr, all growl and it was so much. “I want to feel you come on my cock. Be my good lamb.”

Yeah. Hell yeah, she would be his lamb. That was something she could do for him. She choked and sobbed, bucking her hips back to meet him. Just as strong, just as good and holy shit. She may have screamed a little, probably.

“Lamb, oh lamb I want to-”

“Please! Yes, please, you can, please.” She was so not to be trusted when she was turned on. She shouldn’t even be fucking him without a condom, much less saying he could do that. Why would she say that? She was so stupid.

“I can’t. I can’t, we can’t, not yet. Fuck, lamb!”

Not yet? What? Thankfully, she had enough of a brain to be seriously confused, but that broke apart when he pulled out, jerking himself off onto her ass. It really broke apart at his sounds, his soft moans when he came. So cute, so weak.

There was that quiet moment, after everyone was satisfied. Just breathing, his weight over her, the touch of him. Some part of her expected it to get awkward, but it didn’t. He pressed a few kisses to her bare shoulder and it was really nice.

Sep groaned softly, rolling over underneath him so she could meet his eye. He was flushed, his eyes warm, that smile she adored already directed her way.

“How do you feel, lamb?”

Ah. That rasp. She grinned, reaching up to cup his cheek, a little thrill flooding her belly when he pushed into it. “I feel safe, Jacob.”

“Good.” He leaned down, kissing her again. It was soft and sweet, slow.

And ruined by the sharp bounce of two full sized wolves leaping into bed with them.

She yelped, clinging tighter to Jacob. No fear, just startled. They had totally been waiting the whole time. Geezus.

Jacob sighed, propping himself up. Bezo and Prav grinned toothy, guilty grins, tails thudding on the furs. Just like dogs. “What am I ever going to do with you two?”

“They’re good doggos.” She had to reach out, scratching Bezo’s cheek. “Even if they probably watched us have sex.”

“Probably.” While her attention was shifted, he leaned down and nipped at her throat, the brush of his beard such a thrill. “You tired?”

“Hm? I mean, a little. I did just get the life fucked out of me. Why?”

“Because my Judges have decided it’s time for bed.” He flopped off of her just enough so he could shuck off his pants, joining her in nudity. “Come on, scoot up.”

“Oh. Um.”

“You’re spending the night, lamb. I want you to.”

What was she to say to that. She smiled, nodding a little. Okay. She could stay the night with him.

They settled up at the top of the bed, with Jacob spooned up behind her. And then Bezo and Prav curled up on either side of them, furry and warm.

She had never been so warm and cozy. She could certainly get used to it.


	6. John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now it's John's turn, and what he loves most is the skies. Sep finds that what she loves most is to be called Lamb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somethin a lil funky goin on around here...

It’d really been a long time since she’d painted. And good god, it felt really nice to be doing it again.

Sep hummed softly, dabbing her brush in the blue paint. It wasn’t really any good, but it was making her happy. That was what mattered. See the light in the world, and be safe. Yeah. Important lessons.

Her skin still tingled. Mostly at night. Sometimes, she imagined she could feel Faith’s butterfly kisses and soft hair brushing her skin. And then sometimes, she felt Jacob’s rough hands holding her down, fur on her belly and teeth on her shoulder. And she always, always woke up so fucking turned on.

She was totally short circuiting. Her brain was a mess. She was a mess.

Whatever. She wasn’t totally being brainwashed by a hot family. Being called a lamb totally wasn’t her weakness, didn’t make her wet and needy and demand to be touched. It wasn’t like she hadn’t totally been trained with sex as a reward.

And there was some anticipation. It had been two weeks since it had happened. Two weeks since she and Jacob had gotten familiar, and it had been two weeks before that that she had gotten busy with Faith. So. If the family kept up on the pattern, that meant that another Seed family member would be coming for her. Probably. Maybe. Right?

She wanted that to happen. She wanted to meet the next Seed and be called lamb and then fucked. She was so totally getting brainwashed and there wasn’t much she could do about it. Well, she could fight it, argue that it was a very bad idea and maybe go and take a break from the family, but she knew she wasn’t going to.

They had her well trained. Nothing else she could do about it besides just…take it.

Nothing else she wanted to do about it.

Adding one last stroke of paint, she settled back, admiring her work. It wasn’t anything special, but it was quite therapeutic. She’d already gotten all her work done for the week, and taking the time to just…make art kept her focused.

Kind of.

Whatever. Hopping off of her paint stool, she rinsed off the old pie tin she was using for paint, flicking it into the grasses. The chickens went nuts over the new colors, thinking they were food. While her hens scratched frantically, she went about cleaning up her easel, already trying to figure out what she wanted to make for dinner. Maybe another casserole.

Well, she stopped wondering when she heard a truck come rumbling up to her house. Oh please. Please let it be-

“Sep!”

“John!” She called back, delighted to see the pastor hopping out of his truck. Oh yes. Another Seed brother. They had her well trained indeed. “What brings you out here?”

“Haven’t seen you in a while. Thought I’d swing by.” His boots scuffed the rocky driveway as he walked up, one of those easy smiles on his lips. “How have you been?”

“Good, very good.” To say the least. “And you?”

“Excellent. So, if you aren’t busy, I was wondering if-”

“Yes.” Oh come on, Sep, at least pretend to not be hanging on his every word.

He didn’t even look startled. If anything, he positively glowed at her acceptance. “Well then! Shall we?”

“Absolutely. Let me just put these things away.” Well trained indeed. She had to roll her eyes at herself when she hurried in, dropping off her painting supplies. Might as well just ask him what he would do if he was her shepherd. That seemed to be the breaking point.

There was so much wrong with everything that was happening. She knew that. Surely they knew that. But what could be done about it? She was whipped, seduced by a weirdly religious family that did some very nonreligious things. Like sex before marriage. That was a big one, wasn’t it?

Whatever. She headed back out, smiling brightly at the handsome man waiting for her. Such pretty blue eyes. She was totally smitten with blue eyes at that point.

So smitten that she wasn’t even thinking as she walked up to him. Wasn’t even thinking when she slid her arms around his waist and hugged him. Nope, she just pressed her cheek to his chest and squeezed him tight. And maybe that wasn’t a bad thing, especially in that he wrapped his arms around her too and pressed his lips to her hair.

No problem with hugging. Sweet. And much like his brother, he made no move to let go before she was ready for it. She could hug him as long as she wanted.

Still couldn’t hug him forever, though. She made herself let go, stepping back to give him some room.

“All ready?”

“Ah, yeah. Let’s go.” Totally not awkward. She was too brainwashed, too broken. She really needed to pull it back a little.

Except she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. She was weak, wasn’t she?

Especially in how easily she leaned against his side in the truck, her eyes closed as she trusted with absolute intensity. He could be taking her to the middle of the woods to kill her, and she would take it. Because she trusted, and was prepared to go anywhere with him. Any of them, really.

“So did you like the animal shelter?”

“Mm? Oh. Yeah. Lots of good doggos.”

“And you met Bezo and Prav?”

“I did. Good wolves.”

“Jacob’s trained them well, that’s for sure. Even I can deal with them, and…well, I don’t do so well with dogs.”

“Oh yeah?” Her eyes weren’t really open much, and honestly, she couldn’t be any more comfortable. Well, actually, when she shifted a bit more and rested her hand on his hip, she was pretty comfortable. Yeah.

“Bad history with them.” He shrugged slightly, cooing when the slight jostle made her huff. “Sorry.”

“No harm.” She gave him a slight squeeze, sighing softly. “So where are we going?”

“My ranch. I thought there was something you’d like to experience. There’s so much to do in Hope County, and I think I like the idea of being the one to show you.”

“That sounds good to me.” Anything would sound good to her. Because she was a wreck.

“You sound like you’re happy. Relaxed. It’s a wonderful change, if you don’t mind me saying. You were very paranoid, very defensive for a long time. It does my heart good to see you so comfortable.”

“Mm. Good training, I guess.” She shrugged, making herself draw away, forcing herself to sit up, to actually focus on the path ahead of them. A dirt road, lined by trees and fields, rolled on past his truck. Pretty and wild, Montana continued to impress her with its beauty. And she lived there. She could see it every day.

She was happy. She was actually happy, and that was the weirdest thing. She had some weird shit going on, and she was so stupidly happy that she had absolutely no words for it. She had the attention of an absolutely astonishing family. They were good to her, and then there was the two of them that fucked her and…well, it wasn’t like anything like that would have been able to happen back in California.  
Montana suited her. It really suited her.

John’s ranch was beautiful. Big and grand, a fantastic house perched on top of a hill, she had to let out a soft ‘oh’ when she could really see it. That little bit of praise made John light up, a bit of pride if she ever did see it.

“You live here?”

“That I do. You like it?”

“Very much so. You have a beautiful home, John.”

“Thank you. I am very lucky to live here.”

They both slipped out of the truck. And there was a moment, just a moment, where her skin ached horribly, more so than she had ever felt before. It made her round the truck, make her go up to John and reach for him.

There was a moment of surprise. It wasn’t bad surprise. If anything, he looked happy about it, eagerly wrapping her up in his arms. He let her tuck her face against his chest, stroking her hair back. She was physically starved, or, at least, she had gotten to the point where she knew what physical contact was like, and being without it for even a little while was a lot.

“Lamb,” he sighed, fond and sweet. “You okay?”

“I am now.”

At that, his grip tightened ever so slightly, his breath shuddering out. He had to be as hungry for physical touch as she was, what with how eagerly he held her, how strong his grip was. And they stood there for a while, just holding on, sharing warmth and comfort.

“Sorry,” she finally sighed, patting his sides to indicate she was done. “We were doing something?”

“Never apologize for needing to be held. I am happy to comply, just as anyone else would be. You know you can ask any of us.”

She knew that. Faith would be happy to hold her, and even Jacob had cuddled her close. And Joseph had held her. They were kind to her, holding her, almost worshipping her. It was shocking. It wasn’t like she deserved that kind of attention from so many amazing people.

“Come on, hold my hand. It would please me if you did.”

She could do that. Slipping her fingers against his, she felt a genuine flush of pleasure at that silly little bit. It was nice to hold hands with someone, especially a handsome man. He wanted to. It was his idea. That was what was cool.

It was cool to just walk across his nice ranch, over to some massive garage. A small side door let them inside, revealing that it was not a garage. No no, it was a hangar for some kind of old fighter plane.

“Whoa! Is this yours?”

“Of course. I love planes, love flying. Had to have a plane if I wanted to do any of that.” His fingers tensed ever so slightly, a reassuring squeeze, she finally realized. “You want to fly?”

“Fly? In…” She let her eyes trail over the plane, taking it in like it was some kind of pinup, some work of art to be admired. “Can I get familiar with the plane first?”

“Absolutely. Come on, we can take the tour.” Eagerness took over when he drew her closer, his hand lifting like he was preaching to it, about it, something. “I call her the Affirmation. She’s a fully loaded fighter plane because I have some serious issues, but I keep her unloaded most of the time. She’s a refurbished North American P-51 Mustang with a top speed of four hundred and thirty seven miles per hour, and she is the love of my life.”

There was definite pride in his voice. He loved that plane, and it certainly looked well cared for. Sleek and gunmetal grey, it was imposing even sitting still on the ground. An attractive plane, that was for sure, but still intimidating if it was going to take her up into the sky.

“Does it seat two?”

“This one does. Had it a bit modified. Joseph likes to fly, but never cared to learn how to fly himself. Either Jacob or I have to fly him around if he needs to be somewhere in a hurry.” When they were right in front of it, he laid his hand on the side of the plane, stroking it slowly. “Whenever I need to think, whenever I don’t feel quite right, I take the Affirmation up into the sky and everything just…realigns, ever so slightly. It’s incredibly freeing up there, nothing but the drone of the engine and the skies all around.”

“Sounds wonderful.” She reached out to touch it as well, the metal cold under her fingertips. “And you want to take me up there?”

“Yes. I want to give you a chance to see Hope County. I mean, really see it. And the best way is to do it from up there.”

That would be nice. She could tell it was gorgeous, and what better way to take it all in than to get a bird’s eye view?

“I’m…a little scared. Of heights.”

“I won’t let you fall, lamb. It will be okay.”

Looking into his eyes, those bright blue eyes, she couldn’t help but feel a little bit safer. The other Seeds had given her plenty of reason to trust, to not falter. John would do the same. He had been the one to introduce her to all of them, after all.

“I trust you,” she sighed, leaning against his shoulder. “Show me what you see, John.”

There was that glow, all over again. “I won’t let you down, lamb.”

He certainly wouldn’t. She hurried to help him, opening the hangar door, pushing the plane so it could roll out of the hangar a bit. He told her he usually just rode the thing out, but he wanted to give her time to get used to the plane, so she could learn that there was nothing to fear.

John showed her the anatomy of the plane, coaxing her into touching each point, getting more intimate with the plane than she could have ever thought. Well, sure, she had flown on a jet before, but the Affirmation was something different.

“You ready to get in there?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” She was ready to get terrified, sure. Yup. All good. “Anything I should know?”

“Just relax and enjoy the sights. That’s all you need.”

Easy for him to say. But she would trust him, as she said she would. She just climbed into the plane like he wanted, sitting back so he could buckle her in. It was secure. Yeah. She would be fine. John told her she would be fine, so she would be fine.

Deep breaths. Nothing but deep breaths, even as the plane started up, John slamming the cockpit shut. There was a crackle on her headset, audible even as it hung on the peg beside her. It was what coaxed her into putting it on.

“Ah, there she is!” John’s voice, tinny and distant, met her ears. “You ready to take off?”

“Only if you are.” Because he was flying the damn thing. He had better be ready to take off.

“Then let’s go!” The engine rumbled louder, the drone of the propeller kicking up louder. Slowly, the plane rolled forward, drawn but the spin. It bumped over the runway, speeding up bit by bit, faster and faster. And slowly, gently, the nose tipped up, weightlessness touching her, and the ground dropped away. A gentle take off, altitude climbing with ease, smooth and calm.

It was beautiful, actually. It made her twist, peering out the cockpit at the landscape below. She could see farmlands, could see the winding roads through mountains, the trees and the streams that laced through the country. Small buildings, old wood ones and gleaming metal, it was different to see it from above.

“We’re flying over Fall’s End right now, and then your house will be going by. Take a look!”

Oh. She shifted over, yelping softly to herself when the plane tilted ever so slightly, banking gently to give her a better view out of the glass. It was laughable, how small the town was, and it was the largest town in the county. How funny. She really had taken a step back in civilization, hadn’t she? Still beautiful. She had no regrets for living there. Certainly not for the people she had met. Not just the Seeds, for having made her feel somehow so desirable in such intense ways, but Mary May, the Ryes, even Sharky and Hurk. All of them had done wonders for her mind, for her thoughts, for everything. She was genuinely happy there, with nothing to do but work and enjoy the untamed wilderness of Montana.

A slow bank had them flying on, following a river, spiraling on. Nothing but the drone of the engine, nothing but the beautiful countryside. There was peace up there, alone in that plane with John, seeing the land that she lived in. She laughed when they swooped over Cheeseburger’s enclosure, sighed when they passed Faith’s fields of white flowers outside the Rehab center. All of it was beautiful, and all of it made her fall a bit more in love with all that she saw. She was home, finally, well and truly home.

“You awake back there?”

“Oh! Yes, John, I’m awake.”

“Good. We’re going to landing somewhere special. You ready for that?”

“Sure. Take us in.”

The Affirmation tipped down, lazily spiraling in, more and more, then straightened out, approaching a smooth expanse on the top of one of the mountains. They hit a few bumps when they landed, but there was surprise in how much she didn’t panic. She was perfectly calm, taking each bit in stride until the plane stopped.

John did have to help her get out, though. So her legs were a little numb, and she couldn’t exactly figure out how to get her seatbelt undone. But she managed to climb out all the same, knees wobbling ever so slightly on the solid ground.

“You okay? Was it too frightening?”

“Oh no, I’m fine. It was beautiful. It is beautiful.”

“Isn’t it?” He grinned, coaxing her into turning, stepping aside so she could see the view. Stretching out under the mountain was all of Hope County, the whistle of the wind their only companion on that mountain. Absolute peace, absolute silence. “This is your home, lamb.”

She couldn’t argue that. She just held on to him, staring out over the view. It really was beautiful. All of it.

John shuddered, ever so slightly, under her touch. It was so delicate that she almost couldn’t track it. Almost. But she still turned to look at him, flushing at the intensity of his gaze on her. There was an ache there, an absolute need. She knew what it meant.

“Tell me of your life, John,” she murmured, reaching up to lay her hand on his cheek, her stomach doing stupid flips when his eyes fluttered shut.

“Right.” He exhaled shakily, flashing a quick smile that dropped away in an instant. “My brothers and I were born to parents who did not love us. Mother was silent, watching when father beat us. They beat us so much that Jacob had to call the police. We were taken away, given to another family. There, we were beaten. Again, Jacob had to be the ending line, dragging us out of that house and setting fire to the whole thing. That was where we were separated. Jacob went to prison. Joseph went to foster homes, from house to house. And I…I was adopted by a wealthy family. Where they beat me.”

Oh no. Such a circle of suffering, and he seemed like such a sweet man.

“They were religious. Said I was a sinner for the smallest issues. But I survived, went to law school, became wealthy. Found my vice in sex and drugs. I was an addict, was broken, was just shattered apart. Joseph found me in despair, carried me away. He helped me find my peace, restrain myself. He taught me that drugs were a weakness, that sex without love was a waste, and I feel it. I feel that I am finally walking on the correct path. When I saw you in my chapel, that first time, you were…you gave me hope for more.”

She ached to kiss him. It was unbearable. He needed to be touched, shown a gentle touch. She ached to know his pain and take it from him.

“John.” She urged him, speaking louder until his blue eyes focused on her once more. “Tell me. Tell me how you would be my shepherd. Tell your lamb.”

His eyes widened a fraction. There was shock, then relief, absolute relief, and he laughed. He laughed beautifully, pressing his hands over hers, the one against his cheek, the other on his chest. His touch was so warm, and when he looked at her again, his eyes gleamed too bright, too intense.

“If I were your shepherd, lamb, I would show you that there is nothing wrong in saying yes to the world, to kindness. Yes to generosity, yes to joy, yes to feeling free in Hope County, I would show you that it is okay to trust, to try new things, to let someone worthy of you take your hands and guide you into bliss. I would want nothing more than to hear you say yes, yes, yes time again to all the joy we can give you. Say yes, lamb. Say yes to me.”

No hesitation. She couldn’t even begin to think of not telling him that. The word slipped from her lips in a breath, complete and resolute. When the word made him grin, she said yes again, slipping her arms around his neck. She even whispered it against his lips when he kissed her, felt it in her heart, felt it for him.

Well trained indeed. At the first words, that first claim of “if I were your shepherd”, she felt ready in an instant. John kissed like a man starved for touch, all needy, hands gripping her hips tight, keeping her body tight against his. She couldn’t explain how relieved she felt to finally, finally be kissing John. She’d wanted to since the first time she’d looked at him, but it was so different there, on that mountain, alone with him.

When the kiss broke, he pulled back, just to look at her. There was worship in his eyes, absolute admiration and love. She dared to hope it was love.

“You are perfection, lamb,” John sighed, so fond, so goddamn fond. “Nothing compares to you.”

And she believed him. She trusted. And that made her grin, pulling his hands from her hips as she stepped back, coaxing him with her even as she sank down onto the grasses, drawing him down over her.

She knew what would happen. She wanted it to happen. It was a little weird, yeah, that she had been with two of his siblings, but she was under the impression that he knew. They were setting her up. All of them, methodically breaking her down, telling her how good they could be to her. And maybe, just maybe, she was addicted to being near them, to hearing their soft prayers of her.

His weight over her was more than she expected, but still amazing. There was something so wonderful about someone over her, kissing her, his beard scraping her flesh, a burn of memory that she could treasure.

“I’ve wanted you for ages,” he murmured, kissing down her throat, tugging at the neckline of her shirt to make more room. “You are so beautiful and sweet and-”

“John,” she groaned, slipping her fingers through his hair, tugging slightly. “Too much praise.”

“Praise is good. Accept it, lamb.” He bit over her throat, hands sliding over her belly, pushing her shirt up. “Besides, you called yourself my lamb. I will do as I please with my lamb.”

Asshole. She wanted to argue, but he was doing some sinful things to her throat and that made everything just a little bit better. There was greed in the way he squeezed over her breasts, pawed at her sides, but it was a greed that she appreciated. She liked someone to be hungry over her, needing her.

He drank her in when he tugged the clothes from her, his eyes dragging over her slowly, taking in every single detail. He even reached out to touch over the lone freckle on her belly, biting his lip. Gods, she looked delicious to him, didn’t she? What a feeling, what a look. Being so desired by someone so handsome really was special.

“I want to watch you.” Such a short statement, and he grabbed her hips, rolling the two of them so that she was on top of him. “You can ride me, can’t you?”

“Yes, John.” If only because he asked. His eagerness was infectious, coaxing her into giving him kisses much like Faith had, bright little kisses that touched like butterflies. He sighed in delight of the attention, stroking over her sides and thighs, head tilting back to take what she gave.

When her hands went to his shirt, however, he inhaled sharply, catching her hands.

“Oh, sorry.” She was apologizing even before she could think of why she was apologizing. She just didn’t want to upset him, even a little.

“No, I…it’s okay. I just needed a chance to warn you. Scars remain from my adopted family. I just don’t want you to be surprised or disgusted by me.”

“I could never be, John. Your scars aren’t you, just as mine aren’t me. We are our own people, despite what others have done to us.” Jacob had taught her that. “But if you don’t want me to see, that’s okay too.”

“No, lamb. You let me see all of you. Fair trade, trust. I must give you the same if I expect it from you.”

A fine lesson. She smiled at him, let him know of her gratitude while her fingers made quick work of the buttons of his vest and shirt. With a touch, she parted the cloth, exposed his torso.

Absolute disgust filled her gut, not at him, but at the words carved into his flesh. Sloth was carved in all caps onto his collarbone, the scars red and angry. Further down, Wrath was carved in, and Lust, and Greed. They were old scars, but it wasn’t fair. To have his parents do that to him, do carve into their child like he was some canvas of pain…

She leaned down immediately, pressing her lips over the scars on his chest, kissing away the old pain with her love.

“Oh.” His voice shook, just a little quiver. “You’re wonderful, lamb.”

Not really, but it was nice that he thought so. She kept her eyes on his face as she kissed her way down his chest, tugging on his belt, unthreading it. With a touch, she coaxed them down enough, dragging her fingers over him to hook his boxers.

Only to find none.

That made her pause, lifting a brow up at John. Pastor with no boxers under his tight pants. Dirty. So encouraging to know that he was a bit of a dirty guy, even while being religious. Not that not wearing boxers was particularly dirty.

Whatever. She let her eyes lower back down, curling her fingers around his cock, pulling him free of his pants. She did not hesitate to start pressing kisses over him, settling comfortably between his spread legs.

Kind of funny how much sex she was getting ever since moving to Montana. She had gone years without anyone’s touch, and yet, here she was, getting fucked for the third time in a month and a half.

“No no, no prep. You’ll undo me before I can even satisfy you,” John sighed, stroking her hair back with both hands. “Ride me, lamb.”

Right, she could do that. She crawled up his body, wriggling her hips a little as she knelt over him. She was glad she did, as he flushed and exhaled sharply at the mere sight of her. She could believe she was desirable, not that she should need his approval to feel that way.

Sinking down onto his cock, she felt like she was coming home all over again. Being filled up, being touched, she felt more comfortable than she had ever felt before. She let out such a blissful sigh, arching back as she sank down on him, taking in every inch, pressing deeper than she thought possible.

He made a broken sound, his fingertips digging into her thighs. It was just the barest sense of breaking for him, all that calm falling away to the feeling of a pussy. Adorable, really. Made her feel oddly powerful.

Leaning down, she demanded more kisses, doing her best to roll her hips against his. It was a little clumsy, sure, but it was good. Kind of what she expected from him, and therefore, it was perfectly satisfying. It was exactly what she wanted.

Even more than what she wanted were the sounds that he made. He was far more vocal than his other siblings, sighing and gasping softly, murmuring quiet pledges of his delight, his pleasure, all of it. It was sweet to hear, desperate and lovely. Men making sounds of pleasure felt rewarding, made all of it feel so much better on its own.

Sitting back in his lap, she let out a purely satisfied sigh, bouncing on his cock, tilting her head back to feel the breeze through her hair. She could feel the life, the freedom of Montana, and her joy of it underneath her, cursing and babbling about just how goddamn beautiful she was. His hands were smooth, worked little, sliding up her belly to grip her breasts, squeezing greedy handfuls, taking and taking. Being touched so intensely, it did things to her. And what a thought. She had an instant, a single instant where she imagined being stretched out in the grasses, to have all of the Seeds touching her, stroking their lovely hands over her, worshiping her, loving her intensely and completely until she could give no more. Even Joseph, especially Joseph. Imagine him, his hands gliding over her sweaty skin as he looked at her like she was his God, like She was the one who formed all of Creation and worshipping Her, only Her, devouring Her in his absolute devotion to his new God.

Such a thought. Enough of a thought that her hips jerked against John’s, her scream ripping hoarse from her throat as she came. She came really fucking hard, actually, hard enough that she forgot gentility, digging her nails into John’s chest.

“Oh fuck,” John gasped, pawing at her shoulders, dragging her down until her chest pressed to his. Hooking his arms around her, squeezing almost unbearably tight, his hips jerked and pounded into her hard and fast, shockingly intense. He chased his own finish, gasping her name when he came.

Inside of her.

Uh. While it felt good, her brain stuttered into life. Jacob had made a point not to, saying that he couldn’t. And for some reason, her expectation was that all of the Seeds would feel the same way. Was that supposed to happen? Had he been too into it?

“Lamb,” he sighed, slumping back into the grasses, dragging her with him. “You okay? You came really hard.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I just-” Thought about being worshipped as God by your family- “Felt really good.” Sitting back, she swiped her fingers through her sweaty hair, smiling shakily. “Uh. Did you mean to come inside me?”

There it was. He looked stricken, biting his lip. “Right. Uh. No. I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s okay, though.” Even if she was certain Joseph told him not to. “I’m not upset.”

“Well, that’s a relief.” Not a complete one, she imagined, but at least a partial relief. “Lamb?”

“Yes, John,” Cupping his face, she leaned in to kiss him again. “You were wonderful.” And with that praise, he melted ever so slightly. Had a thing for praise, it seemed. It suited him.

His hand wandered up her ass once more, a needy touch that had her huffing curiously. A second go, hm? He had been addicted to sex, after all. It made sense that he would be so ready to go again.

Until, of course, there was the crunch of something very large moving through the trees.

That made that idea go out the window, made her yelp and spring up to frantically grab for her clothes. All of that ended up back in the plane, safe behind cockpit glass, the two of them breathing hard with exhaustion of two kinds, only to watch a raccoon come waddling out of the trees. That was when they burst into laughter, giddy from the adrenaline and the shared intimacy.

She could say yes to the world, to all of it. Yes t o the light, yes to being safe, yes to taking generosity. She could be better.

She would be.


	7. Joseph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last Seed sibling to give their pledges, and she can't wait the two weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I think posting 7 chapters in one day is enough I'll post the rest later

Time could not drag any slower if she tried.

Two weeks. She had no doubt it would be two weeks until one of the Seeds called upon her again, and she could not bear to wait for those whole two weeks. Especially, since, she had the overpowering suspicion that the last person to call on her would be Joseph. And she did want to see him. He was the one who started it, who called her lamb first, and probably told his family to go after her as it was. He had made the push, he had gotten his family to take her in. He had to have. He had seemed the leader since the very beginning. And she had no doubt in her mind that his attentions would be the absolute best.

She was greedy for it. That was the only way to put it. Just greed, absolute greed. Well, maybe lust too.

But what could she do but wait? Joseph would send for her when he was ready, and not a moment more. She was a lamb, playing in the fields until called in by her shepherd.

Sitting out in the sun, Sep cooed to her hens and roosters, coaxing them into feeding straight from her hand. There was no more work to be done, no more articles to write for the week, nothing. Hobbies did nothing to catch her attention, leaving her listless, needing only to nap to pass the time until she could be called upon again. There was so much wrong with it, she knew that. She knew that she couldn’t be so wrapped up in a family, so needing of their love and attention. Big warning sign, in that, though, well, nothing had gone bad yet. Slowly but surely, they were making her dependant on them, and there had to be a clock ticking down until they suddenly turned cruel and abusive.

She couldn’t see it happening, though. How could Faith ever turn her words into cruel knives? Jacob could never turn such a gentle touch into something violent? And how could John ever make her regret ever saying yes to love? They were good people. They wouldn’t hurt her.

Right?

Sep patted her hands on her rooster, ruffling his feathers until he clucked irritably. Silly chickens, they always managed to catch her attention and keep her happy. Especially when they found some delectable treat that they just hide to fight over.

She hummed when the hens found something fascinating, clucking frantically, scratching and pecking at it in the dirt. They paced around it, still trying to eat it. And the longer they tried, the more her thoughts cleared. They were pecking something awfully hard. Probably wasn’t food.

Sighing, she hauled herself up from the dirt, trudging over, shooing them away from their prize. She knelt down, brushing away the dirt and rocks and dried chicken shit to pick up the item.

Her cell phone.

She stared at the thing, blinking owlishly. Right. She owned a phone. She had owned a phone the whole time. Why did she forget that? How long had she forgotten that?

Puffing the dirt off of the thing, she carried it inside, thoughts swirling. Actually, when she thought about it, the last time she remembered using her phone was right as she had pulled up to her house, checking the real estate listing to make sure she had driven up to the right house. She had shoved it in her pocket and hopped out, then gotten to unpacking. She must have dropped it then.

How long ago had that been? Four months? Maybe more? She had no idea how long she had been living there.

Wow. She had no idea she could go that long without a phone.

Plugging it in the charge, she set it on her counter, going about making herself a cup of cocoa while she waited for it to have enough power to come on again. Was it so bad that she didn’t have it?

Her mother would, no doubt, have tried to call her, but she had her number blocked, so who cared about that? Her father knew not to contact her first, that she would get to him when she could. Her sister was busy, her brother didn’t care. No one would-

Well…

She frowned, glancing uncertainly at her phone. There was one person who might be upset by her being off the map for so long. And that one person might actually be a problem. Well. She had to hope that that one person didn’t freak out too much.

Cradling her mug close, she stared at the phone, watching that green battery symbol fill up, bit by bit. It was at 12% when the damn thing finally started to power on. And it sat there for a while, once it was on.

Then it started to vibrate like hell was coming.

“Fuck,” she mumbled to herself, watching the text count climb, the missed call number go up and up. Emails, calls, texts, so many stacking up, building and building until she thought her phone might catch fire.

Well, they weren’t necessarily all from the same person, right?

Setting her cocoa aside, she leaned over her phone, tapping at it. First she checked the missed calls. Some were sales calls, sure, but uh. Well, the rest were from one person. Same with the texts. The emails. All of it.

Sep swallowed hard, sorting through her texts. They started out innocent, just asking if her move went okay, if she was settled in. Then they got angry, then frantic, then angry again. Demanding to know if she was okay, if she had died, what had happened. Holy shit.

Well shit. Uh. That was a problem. She should probably call her.

But she paused, hand hovering over the call button. She just read the last text message.

I’m coming to find you.

Uh. Well. Um. That had been about a week ago. Okay. That might be a problem. Or not. She could be fine. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. And maybe it would be nice to have her friend come and see where she lived. Show off the sights. Yeah.

Part of her felt guilty for letting her friend panic for so long. She really should have acknowledged that she hadn’t had her phone for so long. Was Montana really so all absorbing that she didn’t need to contact anyone else from her old life?

She really should call her. Apologize. Though she might already be close to visiting her. Gods, what should she do?

Maybe her life really had been sucked up into something she should question. She had been so willing to throw everything away just for her new life in Montana, for the Seeds. As it was, she was sitting around, waiting for them to get in contact with her. She was addicted, and that was a problem. It was all a problem. It was a problem in how much she loved them.

Gods. She loved them.

The thought made her flinch, closing her eyes tight. Was that bad? Probably. She was a polyamorous heathen, consorting with a religious family. They had sex out of marriage, which was no doubt against their beliefs. And she loved all of them.

She loved Faith for her brightness, her eagerness to be happy. She loved Jacob for his calm peace, his protective air. She loved John for his insistence of her joy, bringing her into the life that suited her. And she loved Joseph, damn him. She loved Joseph for that calm peace that still settled over her, even when it had been more than a month since she had seen him. She ached to see him again, and she hardly knew him.

Problems. So many problems.

Maybe it was good that her friend was coming. Speak some sense into her. Tell her to cool it with her obsession with a religious family.

Draining the last of her cocoa, she set her mug in the sink. Issues she should deal with. Issues that were not going to just go away, not with how they seemed to surround her, consume her.

Gods. She was supposed to wait around for Joseph to call on her. And she just…couldn’t. She needed to see him. She needed to know what he would say, what he would do if he was her shepherd. He’d tell her, right? He wanted to be her shepherd? Maybe?

She had to find out. She needed to find out.

Casting a glance at her charging phone, she grabbed up her keys, and headed out the door to her truck. She couldn’t bear to wait the two weeks. There had to be a reason why they had been waiting the exact two weeks in between, but she was definitely not patient. She refused to be patient, not when seeing him was what stood in the balance.

She remembered the way to his compound, only to park and feel…a little awkward.

She just showed up. Probably hoping for sex. Gods. She was hunting down religious people. She was such a fucked up person, holy shit what was she even-

The door of one of the side houses opened up, and Joseph stepped out. There was a moment of him looking out towards the lake, but all of that shifted to her. He looked to her, sitting in her car, and he smiled.

It was okay. She wasn’t intruding.

Smiling back, she slid out of her truck, and he walked closer to her. He reached for her, extending his hands in such an open, welcoming sign. Such a good man. She eagerly hurried to him, clasping his hands with hers, a little chill going through her at the touch.

“Lamb.” His voice was so soft, his thumbs brushing over the backs of her hands. “Hello, lamb.”

“Joseph. Hi.” Eloquent, as always. She should explain herself. Kind of. Maybe. “I came because-”

“You ached to see me just as much as I ached to see you.” Drawing her hands in, he held them against his chest, grip warm, firm. “You couldn’t bear to wait any longer.”

“That’s right! I…” She bit her lip, moving closer, already feeling that tingle of intimacy. “You ached to see me?”

“Of course. Why would I not ache to see my lamb?”

His lamb. Such a good title. It gave her a little chill, making her eyes close. All that compounded when he pressed first a kiss to her brow, then his own brow. So close, so intimate. How had she even waited that long to go and see him? She was so stupid.

He hummed softly, drawing away. He tsked when she tried to follow him, a needy whine rising in her throat. “No need to want so much, lamb. You are here, with me.” Smoothing his knuckles over her cheek, he gave her a look so fond from behind those garish yellow lenses. “You will not leave until you are satisfied, I assure you.”

Damn right.

“Well okay then. What do you want to do?”

“I would like to walk with you, lamb. Would you like that too?”

“I would like that very much, Joseph.”

At her word, he smiled softly, saintly, shifting so he could just hold her hand in his. “Then shall we walk? I do have a lovely expanse of beach here.”

That he did. She was more than happy to follow his lead, walking through the compound, past his chapel, over to the beach by the lake. And still he held her hand, walking slowly with her along the beach, keeping her close to his side.

“Lamb.”

“Mm?” She glanced up at him, feeling a little tremble of apprehension at his serious expression. “Everything okay?”

“I would merely like to know if I have been placed close enough in your heart to know your pain, lamb.”

Oh. Well. She had fucked his family. That probably earned him some knowledge in her life. And he was kind. And good. He deserved more.

“I…” She sighed, rolling her shoulders back. She could talk about it. “I was born by a woman, but she was never my mother. She even outright said that she didn’t want to be a mother. She gave up. She never supported me and my siblings. Constant verbal abuse, and occasionally, physical. She broke us down, time and time again. I…have some issues. I’m still trying to recover.” When she said it out loud, it seemed so…small. “I know it’s nothing compared to actually being beaten, but-”

“Don’t devalue your suffering just because it is different from ours. Please.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah.” Of course he would say that. “Well, it was like…nothing could be done right. Everything was a failure, everything was the worst. It’s hard living like that. You don’t eat right, you don’t dress right, everything you say is apparently an insult. You can’t talk around her, can’t even look at her without getting yelled at. It’s absolutely exhausting. Even into adulthood, she kept it up. I was always a child. Nothing I did was ever good enough.”

“A horrible plight when you cannot trust even your own family.”

“Yeah. It’s just…a lot.” She literally ran away from her. Moved to another state, bought a house, threw everything in her old life away just so she could get away from her mother. How sad was that? “Every day, we waited for her to die. We wished she would die. And she didn’t. Gods, she never ate right, never did anything to take care of herself, and she still lived. How sad is that?”

“While wishing death upon someone is not…preferable, it is something that I can understand. I understand that wish, that pain. You felt much, lamb.”

“Yeah, well.” She shrugged, glancing up at him. “That’s my history.”

“And it has brought you here, to us. While I abhor the pain of it, I am grateful to have you here.”

“Yeah, well, I’m happy to be here too.” Because she was a moron.

“Good, lamb.”

Yeah, it was, wasn’t it? To have a chance at happiness. But there was more that she expected from him, honestly. “So. Uh.”

“Mm?” He was so at peace, just walking with her, holding her hand. It was nice, yeah, but she expected…

“I…nevermind.” She shook her head at herself. Just enjoy the time with him. “The weather’s nice.”

“It is, yes.”

Just enjoy the day. Just relax, walk, enjoy the breeze, and be happy. After all, she did break schedule. If she wanted to get her proper praise, then she would just have to wait the two weeks. She would be a good lamb and wait.

They walked for a long time. The sun sank lower, and in all the peace, she felt kind of…zen. Being with him was incredibly calming. It was just the air he put out, that sort of aura. It made sense that he was a pastor, what with the way he just felt so naturally calming. Maybe that had been the plan the whole time. She had no way of knowing.

His hand tugged on hers ever so slightly, coaxing her to stop. “Come now, lamb. The sun is sinking lower, and it would please me to have dinner with you. Just the two of us.”

Like a date. The idea pleased her immensely. Sure, she had dates with the rest of them, but with Joseph, it was…different. It felt like it was different. It made her heart flutter in her chest, her stomach twisting up a little. She managed to nod, smiling up at him.

Their wandering took them to his house, or what she assumed was his house. It was just another building in the compound, small and inconspicuous. It suited him, understated and humble, just like he was. Good man.

“Would you like to help me cook?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. What did you want to make?”

“Something simple. Would soup satisfy?”

“Sure!” Because she was smitten and more than happy to do anything with him. Fuck.

Tucking in together in the kitchen, the two of them got to work with making something to eat. It was wonderfully domestic, soft and sweet, just the two of them side by side. Dicing veggies for the soup, simmering broth, and even bickering about what seasonings to put in. He gave in to her insistence, of course, but in such a way that she kind of figured he was going to let her win the whole time, anyways.

In time, Sep stood in front of the stove, stirring the small pot slowly. Just a little bit of simmering, and the soup would be ready.

Joseph stepped up beside her, looking into the soup pot, resting his hand gently on her lower back. Familiar. Gentle.

“I was married once.”

Oh! She got to hear about his life. Nice. She couldn’t say she was terribly surprised to hear that, but it wasn’t like she expected it.

“She was a lovely woman. We were going to have a baby. There was an accident. Car accident. She and the baby didn’t make it.”

“Oh Joseph. I’m sorry.” She started to turn, to stop with her stirring of the soup, but he settled his hand over hers, coaxing her into continuing to stir.

“Do not be. It was a long time ago. I have since recovered. We were young. Poor. I was terrified at being a father, but she always had faith in me. In us. I didn’t share that faith. I knew I wasn’t the best man then, but she still loved me. I am glad to have made her happy for a time.”

“Was she your lamb?” Did he call all the women he loved lamb? Could she count herself-

“No. She was no lamb.” No hesitation, even with heat in his tone. “There has only ever been one lamb.”

“Me?” Calm your shit. She really shouldn’t rely on constant reassurance. She should be able to be happy with just…being her. Who she was. She didn’t need them to-

“Yes.”

“Oh. Cool.” Turning off the stove, she felt that giddy little flutter in her chest again. She was special. She was a lamb, their first lamb.

His stance behind her shifted, standing directly behind her. His hands settled on her hips, resting gently, just holding on to her. Breath washed over the side of her neck, his lips pressing tenderly there, just a brush. Delicate, soft, almost impossible to feel if her skin wasn’t already so alive with his presence.

“Um. Soup’s ready.”

“Let us eat, then.” He drew away, leaving her aching so suddenly. Such a shame.

Right. Eat. Food was important. As much as she would like to keep being held and maybe kissed, they did go in there to eat food, and so, they would eat food.

It was domestic and rather nice to just sit and have dinner with him at a little table. Kind of like being married. Huh.

“Tell me, lamb.” His spoon clinked against the bowl, accompanying his voice. “What have you learned in your time here?”

“Here? You mean-”

“In Hope County.”

“Ah, right. Well.” She stirred her bowl of soup, considering the question carefully. In general? Or did he mean because of his family? His family did have the greatest impact on her, after all. Might as well cover that. “I have learned to take joy in the little things, find light and happiness in anything. I learned that it is easy to find warmth and safety, and a chance to take bad events and turn them into beneficial catalysts into becoming a better person. I learned that it is so much better to say yes to life, yes to good opportunities and yes to compliments, instead of denying them.” She smiled a little, poking at a piece of potato in her soup. “And I learned that sometimes, it is good to be a lamb.”

He smiled at that, reaching over to rest his hand on her arm. “That pleases me to hear it.”

“Good. I like pleasing you.” She would please him any way he wanted. Because damn. She was thirsty and smitten with him, with his family.

“You should be more concerned with pleasing yourself, you know. While God loves us all, He does count on us to take care of ourselves. As your shepherd, I will do my best to ensure that you are well satisfied, but there is a small part of it that will fall to you.”

Wait. As? Not if? “As my shepherd?” She had to ask. She had to know.

“Yes. You have accepted, haven’t you? You came to me, called yourself a lamb. I am your shepherd, then.” So nonchalant, he brushed his bowl aside, fixing her in that intense gaze. “Is that not what you want?”

“I want it, I do. Really.” Because she was a moron. “I was…well, I was expecting you to tell me what you would do if you were my shepherd, you know? Give me a sales pitch.” Like the others.

“Oh? Very well. I will indulge you.” He turned to face her better, clasping his hands in front of him. “As your shepherd, I will ensure that you will never go hungry, never thirst, never want for anything. Under my care and the grace of God, you will have everything provided for you. I will love and care for you for all days, even unto heaven, as you were meant to be here. You were meant to be my lamb. And I knew this from the beginning. You were mine the moment you decided to move to Montana.”

A red flag, no doubt. Creepy way of talking. Inappropriate. She should get up and leave. But she didn’t. Wouldn’t. She just smiled, closing her eyes when he cupped her face, pressing his brow to hers.

“You are my Lamb, and I am your Shepherd.”

“Yes, Joseph.”

“Embrace my Love, lamb, and rejoice in coming Home.”

A shudder flooded her when his lips pressed to hers. His kiss was so soft, so sweet, almost like it never happened. It took time before he kissed her again, harder, warmer. He took his time when kissing her, like there was nothing else that needed to be done ever again. Like kissing her was the most important thing to do.

The first touch of his tongue to her lip felt like a blessing, made her weak and helpless in his hands. She didn’t think anyone could make her feel that way, make her feel like she had never known arousal until him.

He drew back, clasping her hands in his to pull her to her feet. By his hand, he guided her through the house, his eyes on hers, his memory enough to lead him without looking. And just as she hoped, he led her to the bedroom.

“Here is where I will show you how to see God in the finest gift He has ever granted His children.” Coaxing her in, he wrapped his arms around her and ran his lips along her jaw, his voice so breathy soft that it made chills run through her.

“And how’s that?”

“I am going to make love to you until exhaustion takes you, and then I will push you past that until you beg me to stop. I will break you apart until all you know is His name. Or mine. Now.” His hands smoothed down her waist, squeezing over her ass. “You will kneel and show me how you pray.”

Filthy pastor. That did absolute wonders to get her panties absolutely soaked, and not a single moment of hesitation hit her as she sank to her knees in front of him. He looked at her for a moment, just admiring her, his hands smoothing over her cheeks and through her hair, combing it back.

“I would have you naked for me,” he murmured, gripping the hair at the nape of her neck in a tight grip. “Show me the purity of your flesh and I will Know you.”

Yup, absolutely. Totally. Her hands went to her clothes, pulling her shirt off when he let go of her, frantic in removing everything for him. She tossed her clothes aside, adjusting her kneeling position to something a little more comfortable.

“Ah,” he sighed, kneeling down quickly. Rather than go for her, like she had hoped, he reached out and stroked his fingertips over her thigh. “You bear ink upon your skin.”

“Oh, yeah.” Her knight and deer. Seriously, she needed to get someone to work on it. It looked half finished. “Is that okay?”

“More than okay. Perhaps John could tattoo something more personal upon you.”

“John knows how to tattoo?”

“Yes.” Joseph stood back up, his hands going to the front of his shirt, unbuttoning it. He rolled his shoulders like a predator, his shirt sliding off surprisingly strong shoulders to reveal his torso. Immediately, her mouth went dry at the sight of him. His skin wasn’t as pale as she thought, his torso well muscled and inked heavily with birds, a crown, and religious symbols. Stark black ink with touches of color, gorgeous in his beauty. The shape of him was lovely, his hips sharp and his chest strong. He was beautiful, looking down at her as a god, as God, whatever.

Then she noticed the scars. The words carved into his flesh, redder, less healed.

“Oh, Joseph,” she sighed, her eyes trailing over the ‘lust’ under his navel, the ‘wrath’ on his forearm. “How…”

“I ached to know the suffering of all my family. I have been through their pain, inflicted it on myself. I wanted to know them, wanted to let them know that I understood them. I had these done to me when we were reunited. I stand with them. I will always stand with them.”

That was probably creepy. She should probably be creeped out. She wasn’t.

His hands went to his belt, and she bit her lip in anticipation, eyes dropping to the slight bulge in his pants. Yes. Gorgeous.

With a few yanks, he had his belt open, dragging the zipper down. And just like John, he wore nothing underneath, the dark curls of his hair revealed the moment he opened his pants. His hand dipped in, pulling his cock out. He was lovely, uncut, and not even fully hard, she ached to lunge in and take, but his eyes held her still, obedient on her knees.

“Show me your devotion, lamb.”

Fuck yeah. She leaned up, resting her hands on his thighs. He was so kind as to hold himself steady, letting her press innocent kisses to him, peppering the head all over. She took her time wrapping her lips around him, eyes going heavy, tongue pressing against the underside of his cock. He was bitter and salty, but oh goodness, it was fine. It was all fine.

When he drew his hand away, she replaced it with one of her own, stroking him slowly along with her gentle bobbing and suckling, eyes finally falling shut as she savored it. She was finally on her knees for the Father, for Joseph, and she could not have felt more at home with it. She was where she belonged, at His knees, serving Him and His desires. Her life was finally going right.

His sounds of pleasure were nothing more than soft breaths, faint sounds in the back of his throat, his hand stroking softly over her hair, gentle pressure coaxing her into bobbing lower. Slowly but surely, she got his cock wet with her eagerness, brought him to full hardness until her jaw ached with him. She just wanted to serve him, to make him feel better, make him feel good.

“Look at me, lamb.” His voice was husky, deeper than before. “Let me see your eyes.”

Right. She could do that. Opening her eyes, she tipped them up towards him, coaxing his cock down a bit so she could actually see him clearly. So pretty.

“Your devotion is admirable. Allow me test you.”

Yes, please, test her. Please.

“Take your hand away and trust. I will take your breath for a time. It won’t be for long.”

Oh. Okay.

“Does that frighten you, lamb?”

She nodded a little, eyelids fluttering, but she managed to stay focused on him.

“Trust. It won’t be for long.”

Okay. She could do that. Resting her hands on his thighs, she looked up at him as openly as she could. His hands cupped her face gently, dragging her down, shoving his cock down her throat and holding her there. Okay. Devotion. Just hold steady.

Not really, actually. Panic started to grip her chest as she realized she really couldn’t breathe. Her fingers tensed, eyes widening a fraction. Oh gods. She whined, low in her throat, wanting to pull back but not daring to make him doubt her devotion. Please.

“Shh, lamb. You did so well.” He drew her off slowly, so slowly, giving her throat time to clench and choke for air. “Just breathe. You are fine.”

Yeah. Sure. Okay. It took an awful lot of focus to get her throat to calm the fuck down, but she managed. Be good for him.

“Lay on the bed, lamb. On your back, so that I may Know you.”

Oh yes please. It was a shame that she had to slide off of his cock to do so, but hey, she was happy to climb onto the bed if he wanted. And thank goodness, his mattress was soft, so soft when she settled onto it.

Taking his cock in hand, he stroked himself slowly, focusing on her like she was a meal to be devoured. What a look. What beauty.

Scooting back against the pillows, she crossed her arms under her breasts, hitching them up, biting her lip. If he could always look at her like that, that would be fine. She would be happy with that.

He looked at her for a time, just admiring her, leaving her to ache. Apparently having reached some decision, he pulled off his glasses, folding them neatly. Only then did he climb onto the bed, leaning over her to set his glasses on the bedside table.

He was so close, so accessible. She couldn’t help but reach down as he leaned over, cupping her hand under his cock, giving him a few slow strokes. Such a pretty sigh left him, just a bit of satisfaction, just the slightest sign.

“You will have patience, lamb.” His touch was gentle on her hand, coaxing her touch away. “Lay back and wait.”

Okay, fine. She sighed, dropping her hands to the bed. Had to be good for the Father, after all.

He gave her a moment, probable testing to see if she was actually going to listen. When she made no move, he sighed, sinking down into the bed beside her. Satisfied with her position, he leaned down, pressing soft kisses over her cheek, down the side of her neck. He must have known how much she liked attention to her neck, as he lingered there, his hand stroking down her arm, onto her side. His teeth pressed into her throat just as his fingers carded through the hair between her legs, dipping low without much preamble.

Oh yes, that was fine. That was just fine. She melted back, sighing in absolute happiness when his fingertips swirled over her clit. Exactly what she had always wanted. Being pressed into a bed, a handsome older man pleasing her and worshipping her… She was finally home.

It was even better when he started kissing her again, slipping his fingers up inside of her, curling them up hard and stroking faster than she honestly expected him to. The sudden intensity made her mewl against his lips, hips jerking up against his hand, seeking out more of the touch.

“Ah, lamb,” he sighed, nuzzling up against her cheek, “how beautifully you call for me. Do you see Him yet?”

Sure, whatever. Whatever he wanted.

Her breath lifted, pleasure building more and more. He was really fucking good with his hands, dragging her closer and closer to orgasm until-

He pulled his hand away.

“Hey!” That was excuse enough to reach for him, only for his hand to clamp onto her hip and shove her hard back onto the bed. “Joseph?”

“You may come when I decide, and not a moment more.”

Cruel. Absolutely cruel. Nothing to be done about it, though. She just whined, wriggling back into the mattress.

Again, he went still, as if waiting for her to rebel. But she was a good lamb, his good lamb, and she would not dare disobey. Satisfied with her patience, he rolled away, toeing off his shoes, pushing off his pants.

Part of her expected him to demand something, move her a certain way. But no, he just slid on top of her, cupping her face to kiss her, sweet, domestic. Whatever position he wanted, she was more than happy to spread her legs, allow him to slip in between them. His cock slid wetly against her cunt, sliding just past her clit. Damn.

“Set me as a seal upon your heart,” he breathed, nuzzling past her cheek to her ear. “As a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave.” He moved back a little, bracing his cock with his hand, stroking the head over her, teasing. “Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.” Properly positioned, he slid his touch back up, catching her hands, lacing their fingers together and pinning her hands into the mattress. “If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.”

She could try to think of something to say, but why bother thinking when he thrust in to the hilt inside of her and took all breath from her?

“Oh fuck,” she gasped, arching back hard. She needed that, she absolutely needed to be filled so fucking perfectly. Whatever bullshit he was quoting, she had absolutely no issue with it. So long as he made her feel good, she didn’t much care what he said.

“Ah,” he sighed, letting go of one of her hands so he could cup her face, murmuring against the edge of her lips. “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”

Yup, alright. That was good. Whatever bullshit of the bible, she didn’t care. She just pushed into his kiss, hooking her arm around him, holding on tight. There really was something special about missionary, grinding deep and close so much that it was almost suffocating. Maybe it was his bible quoting and all that, but it felt like lovemaking.

Because she was a sap, that was why.

He fucked her so steady and slow, it was almost maddening. No matter how she pulled at him with her legs, no matter how she clawed at him, he kept up the same pace, kissing her deeply until she kind of wanted to pull his hair out.

Couldn’t argue with the results, though. Her finish built up just as slowly, but she knew it was going to be a good one. She could really tell because she was really having a really hard time being quiet. Sobbing and moaning, she sounded absolutely destroyed while he just quietly sighed and whispered to her.

She couldn’t remember the last time she felt so hot. Or sweaty. Or disgusting. It was a good kind of disgusting, one that she wasn’t entirely used to experiencing. Before Montana, she’d only had a few sexual experiences, and none like what she had with the Seeds. Each of them offered something different, so much that she couldn’t handle.

She kind of wanted to say something intelligent, but all that came out was ‘oh god’s and ‘Joseph’s. And then those went away because he kissed her again, messy and breathless. It was all she needed.  
Tossing her head back, she screamed his name, hoarse and way, way too loud. Probably one of the harder orgasms she’d ever had, considering she might have blacked out for two seconds. Whatever.

“So do not fear,” Joseph gasped, nuzzling in against her throat, his thrusts becoming much harder. “for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand!”

Then he sobbed, sounding so weak and broken, pressing in all the way and coming inside of her. That one had to be intentional. It felt like it was intentional.

It was fine. She sighed, stroking the back of his sweaty neck, soothing him, giving him time to breathe against her. But goodness sakes, she was sweaty.

He took a long time before lifting his head, looking at her. He looked good all flushed, blue eyes blown huge.

“Lamb,” he rasped, letting go of her hand, sliding his touch up her shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“I am so good, Joseph. So good.” To say the least.

“Did you see Him?”

“Maybe. Hard to tell when you’re coming that hard.” She was able to draw him in for another, long kiss, so stupidly pleased that he complied.

“We will just have to keep trying until you know for certain that you see Him.”

Oh yes. She could handle that.

After a few more kisses, they snuggled in close, his brow to hers, arm draped over her. Of course he was a cuddler, even when they were sweaty and sticky and horrible.

But she was at peace there, in his arms, as his lamb.

She had always been a lamb.


	8. Baptism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So there was more to the whole Lamb-and-Shepherd thing considering everyone in the family said it. Turns out she's not hte only one happy to be poly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahaaaaa this is where it starts to get a lil fucky. Also It is my headcanon that Joseph and Faith are the terrible cooks of the family while John is alright and Jacob is really fuckin good. Years of being in the military means now that he has actual food he wants it to be fuckin good aight

Slow, steady breaths, just under her ear. Good and soothing.

Sep sighed, rubbing her cheek against Joseph’s chest, snuggling closer. He just hummed, resting his hand on her hair, stroking softly. Now that was a way to wake up in the morning, especially with the kiss to the top of her head. She felt safe, loved, and never, ever wanted to get up.

She dozed, in and out of sleep. The faint slide of him turning pages of some book he was reading helped soothe her even more. Such peace, such calm. He didn’t need anything else.

She had to be half asleep. Dreaming. Because she could swear she heard footsteps coming into the bedroom.

Then the bed shifted, a hand resting on her hip, stroking softly.

“Hey. How’s she doing?”

“She is relaxed. There is trust in her.”

“Good.” Such a relieved sigh, hand twitching on her side. “Good. What does she want for breakfast?”

“I’m not sure. Why don’t we ask her?” Joseph curled his fingers in her hair at the base of her skull, coaxing her into tilting her head up, giving him access enough so he could press a kiss to her brow. “Lamb.”

She hummed, not quite awake yet. She arched her back a bit, fingers tensing against his skin.

“Come on lamb, what do you want to eat?” The weight on the mattress shifted, a kiss pressing to her bare shoulder, and when she turned towards it, to her cheek.

Okay, she definitely wasn’t sleeping still. Her eyes fluttered open to see those familiar baby blue eyes, that wide, honest look. It was John, kneeling on the bed behind her as she lay naked with his brother. Clearly after having had sex. Uh. She always supposed that the whole family knew about her being with every single other member, but to have them both in the same spot, it was a little much.

She squeaked, hiding her face against Joseph’s chest. Oh geez. They were both there.

“Shy,” Joseph sighed fondly, scratching her like a favored pet. “How about pancakes? Would you like that?”

Sure, whatever. She nodded quickly, an involuntary gasp leaving her at the kiss John pressed between her shoulder blades. Oh geez, what a thought that what she had imagined, what she had hoped…could maybe, possibly happen.

“Pancakes it is. I’ll tell him.”

John drew away, leaving the room, leaving the two of them alone again. But tell him. Him. Jacob had to be there too. And why not Faith, too? They had to all be there, and she was naked in bed with Joseph and they were all in on it.

The rasp of another page being turned. Joseph just went back to reading, and it was all so normal to them.

How could it all be so unbearably normal? How could it possibly go on like that? It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen it coming. She knew it was going to happen. She had known the whole time and yet, when it happened, she couldn’t understand it.

“Mm.” His book clicked shut, sliding onto the bedside table. “I’m going to get up and shower, lamb. Care to join me?” She managed to shake her head against his chest. “No? Well, you can’t stay in bed all day. Sloth is a sin, after all.”

Yeah, okay. She lifted her head, meeting his eyes. Damn them. Damn them all.

He leaned in, pressing a kiss to her brow. Satisfied with that, he slid away from her, out of bed, leaving her alone in the blankets. Leaving her to think, to wonder and to try not to be so fucking turned on.

Fucking hell she was a goddamn wreck. She should not be so fucking randy about that bullshit. Fuck. Fuck!

Snarling at herself, she lurched out of bed. Might as well get moving and find some way to face the shit she had gotten herself into.

There was no wearing her own clothes. What the hell was she supposed to do about clothes? Hers were filthy. Just… Ugh. Choosing a thin blanket off of the bed, she wrapped it around herself, roughly combing her fingers through her hair. Ridiculous.

Okay. Deep breaths.

Casting a glance at the bathroom, at the shower running, she went for the door. Face the music. Face the shit.

Stepping out of the bedroom, she had to pause, just to take it all in. Jacob stood in the kitchen, the sizzle of pancakes creating a lovely aroma. John stood at the window, flipping through some book or another. Faith sat at the couch, sewing some white cloth with fine details. Domestic. Sweet. While Joseph showered. And she stood there in just a blanket and stared at all of them.

What the actual fuck.

Faith glanced up, a beautiful smile spreading across her lips. “Our lamb awakens.”

John turned, grinning brightly like he had never seen anything finer. “And what a sight.”

Jacob hummed, waving her over. “Come on, help me with breakfast.”

“Uh.” She shifted awkwardly. “I’m naked.”

“Yeah? Come on, I need to know if I did the measurements right.”

Okay. Whatever. She shuffled over, skin prickling with their eyes. She felt more exposed than she ever had in her entire life. It was like they were all staring at her all at once. Were they? Oh gods.

“I’ve never made such fancy fucking pancakes before.” Jacob poked one of the cakes with his spatula, glancing at her. “Figured you for a fancy pancake person.”

“What kind are they?” She sounded so meek, so tiny. What a feeling.

“Apple cinnamon pancakes. Made some maple butter to go with it too.” He shrugged, a sharp jerk of his shoulders. “Does…that sound like something you’d like?”

Was that shyness? Something like it? It made her pause and look at him, try to read what the hell that was. And yeah, there was something there, some kind of test, some uncertainty.

“Those sound delicious, Jacob.” Stepping closer, she pressed her forehead to his arm, a weird little nuzzle of affection. “Thank you for putting in so much effort.”

“My pleasure.” That shyness went away, satisfaction taking over. “Have to make sure you’re taken care of.”

Right. Because that was happening. Sep glanced over her shoulder, at John’s awkward lean on the window sill, his hands patting a broken beat on his thighs, at Faith’s intense focus on such careful stitching. They felt her there, wanted to be near her, but didn’t want to pressure her. Good of them.

The soft pad of feet behind her was all the warning she got before Joseph hooked his arms around her, drawing her back against his chest. She huffed softly in surprise, eyes fluttering shut at the kisses he pressed to her neck.

“Lamb,” he sighed, squeezing her tight. “It does me so good to see you home, finally.”

Right. Totally. She would even agree with him if he didn’t yank the blanket off of her and leave her naked in the kitchen which was in the house that was full of actual people.

The sound she made was completely undignified, but what else was she supposed to do when she was so suddenly stripped bare? She lurched back, into Joseph’s chest, arms slapping over herself to try and cover her nudity.

“Hush, lamb. No need to be so timid. We have, after all, seen you bare before.”

Okay, that was something different. She certainly wasn’t around all four of them at once and have dried fucking jizz on her thighs. What the actual fuck. She gasped, wriggling in his grip, feeling the overpowering urge to actually kick him in the shins because what the fuck.

“Jacob.” Joseph’s voice was sharp, a command, letting go of her just a moment before Joseph’s grip clamped on her, dragging her in against his chest. “There is no need to panic, lamb. You are safe here.”

“Fuck being safe,” she hissed, kind of a little grateful that Jacob was holding her. At least she was covered then. “This isn’t about being safe, it’s about not being naked in front of a bunch of people, you piece of shit.”

“Hey now, no need to be so angry.” Joseph tsked, his hand resting on her shoulder. “You have no need to hide from us.”

Jacob turned her around with ease, holding her back even while forcing her to meet Joseph’s eye. This was all kind of fucked up, holding her still, forcing her to be exposed.

“So what the fuck is this? What’s going on?” Maybe all the red flags had finally led to actual issues. “All of you here, having me naked. What? Trying to pressure me into some shit?” All of them clustered in one spot, all of them looking so fucking nervous? “Is this some kind of setup? Am I supposed to choose who my shepherd is going to be? Huh?”

“So hostile. Are you really so uncomfortable?”

“You’re damn right I’m uncomfortable! I want to know what the fuck is going on!”

“Nothing is going on, lamb. This is just us, just what we have. Now that we have you, everything can be whole.”

“I told you, lamb,” John cut in, stepping closer. “Never before have we all liked someone. Never all of us at the same time. Never.”

Uh. “So. Uh. That means you’re going to, what, share me?” Because that made absolutely no sense.

“Yes.”

Oh.

“Uh.” Her fighting calmed, slumping back a bit. “That’s…uh.”

“As individuals, we cannot provide what you need. But all of us, together.” John pressed his hand over his heart, a truly angelic smile on his lips. “We can give you all that you need in absolute perfection.”

“Isn’t that against your beliefs?”

“The word of God abhors a marriage of multiple peoples, but we are not perfect,” Faith added, setting her sewing aside. “We sin often, and we are willing to cross sin so that we may all have you.”

Oh. Uh. Um. That was… “You all want to be with me?”

“Of course. You’re wonderful,” Jacob sighed against her neck, pressing a kiss there. “You can handle that, can’t you?”

She could certainly try. Because what the fuck, she had always been a polyamorous person and always imagined being in a relationship like that, to be suddenly introduced to having four people interested in having her was almost too much.

“Now, lamb, if you are accepting, then we can begin with your baptism.” Joseph caught her hands, pulling her from Jacob’s grip, drawing her over to the living area, by the couch and the chairs. He dragged a cushion onto the ground, nodding to it. “Kneel.”

Sure. Yup. Absolutely.

She sank down onto the cushion, a flush of heat overtaking her. This was definitely the kinkiest shit she had ever been a part of.

“Ah, good. Come, we must eat. We cannot let Jacob’s hard work go to waste.”

She stayed there, on the floor, listening to them move about the little house, talking quietly, dishing up their breakfast. She did not move when they brushed past her, taking seats on the couch and chair. She did not even move when Joseph stroked his hand over her hair, smoothing it back from her face.

All she could do was stare at her knees, shivering on that cushion, trying to understand what in the world she was doing. Her thoughts, all of it was so fuzzy. Holy shit. Even the clink of forks on plates sounded weirdly distant.

“Now,” Joseph sighed, “each of you. Name her.”

“Right.” Jacob scooted closer, his boots coming into her peripheral view. “Look at me.”

Her? He couldn’t mean her. No, he meant her, considering his fingers brushed her jaw, coaxing her up. He looked so fond, so terribly fond of her.

“So, a name for you.” He hummed, swiping his thumb over her lips. “I think…” He drew away, cutting a piece off of his pancakes, dabbing it in the butter and syrup. “I’ll call you Baby Girl. Yeah? You my Baby Girl?”

He offered the pancakes then, his eyes hopeful. She exhaled shakily, opening her mouth so he could feed her the pancakes. They were delicious and sweet, making her hum in pleasure of it.

“And she has accepted the name. Her Baptism under you is successful.”

Is that what it was? She could take that. Licking her lips, she looked over to Joseph expectantly.  
“No lamb, not me next. John, it is your turn.”

“Oh. Yes. Okay.” John slid forward on the couch, cutting off a section of pancake for her as well. “Uh. Let’s see… How about Gorgeous?”

She leaned away a little, lifting a brow.

“No? Darling? Do you like Darling? No, I don’t like that…”

“Patience, John. Think carefully.”

“Right. How about…Pet?”

Oh, yes. She opened her mouth expectantly, humming when more sticky sweet food was given to her. Those pancakes were so damn good.

“And she has been Baptized.”

“I know mine,” Faith chirped, standing from her chair, moving over to her. “You have always been my Angel, haven’t you? Will you be my Angel?”

Hell yeah. She opened up, taking the pancakes happily. Faith smiled sweetly, stroking her cheek fondly just before she returned to her seat.

“She has been Baptized. And now for mine. And you will be my Lamb.” Joseph offered her pancakes, still just as holy as ever.

She didn’t hesitate to take the pancakes. She had been named. She was Baby Girl, Pet, Angel, and Lamb. So amazing. She would take it and she would know those names and be happy about it.

“She has been Baptized. She is ours.” Joseph sighed, purely happy. “She is our Wife.”

Wife? Wife? She could take that. She would be their Wife.

“She is perfect,” Jacob murmured, feeding her more pancakes in between taking bites for himself. “You did well, John.”

“Hey, she chose us. She came into the church, even without religion. She invited us into her life.” John could not have sounded happier, edging in to feed her more of his own breakfast. “But thank you.”

“Humility, for once. She has changed you, John. I could not be more pleased.”

They fed her until she was pleasantly full, kneeling there on the cushion at their feet, listening to them talk amicably about anything and everything. She was theirs, all of theirs, and she was right where she belonged.

“I’ll take care of the dishes,” Faith announced, taking all of their plates and forks. “Someone should tend to my angel.”

“I’ve got it,” Jacob rumbled, scooting closer to her. “Have to get my baby girl all trained up, don’t I?”

Trained? She could take some training. She looked up at Jacob, smiling a little, only for that to bloom into a grin at the fond look he focused on her. His hands smoothed through her hair, stroking it back from her face.

“Lookit my baby girl, at how she smiles at me. Ain’t never seen a sweeter sight.” He tsked and shook his head, smoothing his thumb over her cheek. “And I think you’re owed a treat.”

A treat? She would love one. Shifting on the cushion, she faced him a bit better. She would be more than happy to take whatever he offered. She was his baby girl, after all, his Wife. Which was why she was more than happy when he settled back, hands going to his belt.

“Ah, can’t say I’m surprised, Jacob.”

“Don’t get snippy because you’re not getting it.” Jacob had a wry little grin, fishing his cock could of his pants. He wasn’t quite hard yet, but still stiff enough. “You’re just jealous you’re not playing with her.”

John sniffed, a childish sort of noise, but she could feel the jealousy in it as well. He would get his turn eventually. For now, she just leaned closer, resting her hands on Jacob’s knees when he spread them for her.

Jacob let out a truly satisfied sigh once she got her mouth on him, leaning back and just letting her do whatever. He didn’t dictate, didn’t tell her to do it one way or another. He just let her lick and suck on him however she pleased.

It was nice. It was nice to do whatever she wanted even while kind of being told what to do. She felt useful, desired, all of it. Curling her fingers around him, she turned her eyes up to watch his face. And really, it was so nice to have Jacob looking so relaxed, so pleased. His blue eyes were mere slits while he watched her. He was happy with her. She made him happy.

John whined. Definitely like a child. “Perhaps you can share?”

“Nah, I don’t think so,” Jacob mumbled, not bothering to spare a glance for his brother. “You had her like a week ago. It’s my turn, now.”

“We will not abide by greed, brothers. Faith has been without her the longest, and yet, she treads in peace. We will all be patient and not fall victim to greed.” Joseph, ever the wise one, just watched her between his elder brother’s legs. “Our lamb has more than enough to share, after all. She is our Wife, and she would not deny us what we need.”

Well, she could say no if she wanted to. Not that she wanted to. She was right where she wanted to be.

“Is it greed?” Faith wandered over, leaning over the back of the couch to drape her arms around Joseph’s neck, speaking so sweetly by his ear. “Is it greed for us to want to consummate our marriage with our new lovely Wife?”

Joseph’s brows lifted, slow. He hadn’t realized that. Hadn’t made that connection. And from the looks on the others, they didn’t realize that either.

“Have to do this right,” Jacob huffed, cupping her jaw, drawing her off of his cock. “What house are we in, Joseph?”

“Avaritia, by fate, I think.”

“To Luxuria, then.” Jacob tucked himself away, then grabbed her up, off of the cushion. Cradling her like a child to his chest, he turned on his heel and headed for the door.

What the fuck. She squeaked in shock when he kicked the door open, the sunlight from outside touching her bare skin. She was still naked, and he just carried her across the compound. There were people around. A few people cleaned around the compound, a few looking up. They could see her, all naked, filthy with what Joseph had done, and no expressions changed. They went back to work, like it was normal to see that.

Was it normal?

Jacob carted her inside of another one of the white buildings, trying to head into another room, but that was where she started to wriggle and fight again. “Ah, now what, baby girl? What’s got you all riled up?”

“Put me down, I want to ask something. Put me down!”

“What troubles our wife?” Joseph hurried in after, pressing his palm to her brow. “What’s wrong?”

“Okay,” she huffed, scowling up at Jacob as he still hadn’t put her down. “Ignoring that you guys just paraded me across the compound while completely nude, let’s just address something else. Is this something you guys have done before? Have you all had a wife before? All shared one woman? Am…” She faltered, glancing around the new little house. “Am I not special? How many women have been this for you?”

“There has never been anyone before you,” Faith gasped, hurrying around her brothers so she could crowd in, her eyes wide with worry and hurt. “We’ve never found anyone before you that was so beautiful, so kind, so good that we all love the company of.”

“Okay.” She would have to take it. She would have to believe, and trust. “I’ll take that.”

“Good.” Joseph spared her a gentle smile, flicking his hand on. “Then let us get on with the consummation.”

Wait. Uh.

The consummation consisted of Jacob dumping her on a very large bed, larger than the one in the other house, dragging off his clothes and tossing them aside. The other Seeds followed suit, John just as eager to undress, while Faith lingered, delicately stepping out of her dress. Joseph circled, watched, an expression of peace overtaking him. He just watched as the rest of the family climbed onto the bed with her. And in that bed, she was forced to submit to them, to their touches, their kisses and their hunger. It was a lot. It wasn’t enough. She had to wriggle and whine, kissing Faith, feeling Jacob’s teeth scrape over her nipples, taking John’s head between her thighs to lick up the mess there. She obediently licked at Faith when she knelt over her face, stroked John’s cock, arched when Jacob curled his fingers inside of her until she couldn’t take it. So much touch, so much pleasure all while Joseph paced and watched, taking it all in.

It was a lot. It was too much. Jacob took her, then John. Faith touched her until she could take no more, then one of her brothers took their place inside her again. It was a constant stream, it felt like, so much touch, so much worship that words and sight were beyond her.

Except for the sight of Joseph. She was on her knees, knelt over Jacob, facing away from him. Drawn down onto his cock, she was forced to lean back, to feel Faith slip her clever fingers inside of her beside her brother’s cock, tugging and stretching her even wider. All she could do was keen when John pressed against her front, murmuring prayers against her shoulder when he clumsily but excitedly pushed inside of her right beside his brother, taking her breath, taking all reason but for the sight of Joseph just watching the whole thing.

How could he just watch? She was being consumed! Devoured by her Husbands and her Wife, and all he could do was watch! Why did he not join? Did he not want her? She cried for him, digging her nails into her Husbands as they took their pleasure from her.

“She is almost clean,” Joseph sighed, spreading his hands before him like speaking to a crowd for a sermon. “She is almost completely Ours.” He seemed immune to the animalistic sounds his family made, watching so calmly. “Then you may baptize her properly, John.”

“Please,” Sep managed to wheeze, head lolling back on her shoulders, falling back against Jacob’s. “Please!”

“So sweetly my Wife begs for aid.” He approached then, reaching out a saintly hand to cup her cheek. “What, dear Wife?”

“Make it stop,” she sobbed, pushing into his touch. “I can’t take any more!”

“Then they will finish in a moment. Then I will have my Wife, and you will name yourself so that God can hear that our marriage is true. God will know our Love, lamb.”

Yeah, okay, whatever. She was screeching like an animal, overwhelmed by too many sensations. Jacob was snarling by her ear, hands too tight on her hips, and John gasped against her skin, his thrusts sharp and fast and too much. There was no way she was going to be able to come from all that stimulation.

But they came inside of her, growling out their pleasure, taking what they needed from her. And then they laid her down on her belly on the bed, spread her legs just enough for Joseph to lay upon her back and slide into her and make her keen and sob.

She felt like an animal, sounded like an animal, was beyond words and cares and could only submit and take, and take, and take.

“Every good,” Joseph sighed, kissing over her shoulders as he prayed, “and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

“Please!” She screamed, clawing at the blankets, trying to wriggle away but finding no strength to do so.

“Out of his fullness, we have all received grace in place of grace already given.” His voice was a rasp, and yet, so worshipping, his fingertips digging bruises into her hips, her thighs. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul,” he choked, thrusting in harder. “And with all your mind and with all your strength!”

Religious people were filthy. It was a filthy fucking family and she wanted to bite them, even as they stroked her sweaty hair back and cooed to her and made her take their blessings and their prayers until she felt like she would pass out.

“Please! Please, Joseph, God, please I can’t I can’t I don’t-”

“As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things!” His hand curled around her throat, hauling her back with him as he kneeled, making her bow back and look up towards the sky, towards the heavens. “Name yourself, child! Name yourself before the Lord and you will know peace in your mind, peace of your soul and you will know salvation!”

“Lamb!” She screamed, nails scraping over his hand around her throat. “I am your Lamb! I am your Wife and your Lamb! Yours!”

Joseph howled, shoving her down into the blankets, slamming in just a few more times until he finished.

And then, maybe, just maybe, she saw God when she blacked out.


	9. Meet the Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sep hasn't completely escaped her past, an old friend finding her. Now there is a witness to her new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for awkward 'meet the family' dinnersssss

“Yeast infection.”

“Yeah. Figured.”

“You might want to stock up on ice packs. And hot water bottles.”

“Yeah.” Sep shifted uncomfortably, pressing the ice pack tighter between her legs.

“Yeah.” The doctor looked at her tiredly, crossing her arms over her chest. “This is what happens when you go from little to no sex to a whole hell of a lot of sex all at once. Unprotected sex at that.”

“Yeah. I’m aware. Thank you.”

Another stare down. She could stare at her all she wanted, but she didn’t care. It was worth it. Her Husbands and Wife had needed her and she was happy to have been able to provide. But her vagina was throbbing and itching and she could really, really use some pain medicine. She’d suffered through it for a few days on her own as it was.

“Well. As long as you’re aware. No sex for a few weeks until all the swelling is gone.” The doctor turned away, rummaging through her cabinet. “Then start using protection.”

Pretty sure that wasn’t going to fly. “But I’m not pregnant.”

“No, you’re not. Implant’s holding strong, surprisingly. You’ve only had it for a year?”

“Just about.” Reflex had her reaching for her arm, stroking a touch over the hidden matchstick sized implant inside. “Tough little thing.”

“Saved you, that’s for sure.”

She wasn’t entirely sure her Husbands would be too terribly happy that their…well, seed wouldn’t take. Probably wanted her to get pregnant, what with them using her like a goddamn jizz dumpster. That was fine. They could try as often as they wanted.

Because she was completely and stupidly in love with all of them. Even after being utterly demolished by all of them, she loved them. They’d stroked and murmured to her, given her time to breathe. Then John had cradled her close and carried her to the lake, whispering prayers as he dunked her under the water, baptizing her as their Wife, a role she happily accepted. They bathed her, fed her, swore their love and offered to keep her there.

She refused, of course. She needed time to digest it, all of it. It was a little much to suddenly have so much attention, so much love in her life when she had gone years with nothing. She was spoiled rotten by her Husbands and Wife. So spoiled.

“Well, okay. So take your meds, no touchy-touchy down there, and you’ll be fine. Just tell whoever bumped uglies with you to calm down.” The doctor stapled the little paper baggy shut, offering it up. “Your pH will have to adjust some from the presence of dick.”

“Absolutely. Thank you.”

“Let me know if this happens again.”

“Sure thing.” Sep nodded faintly, sliding off of the hospital bed. God, her crotch hurt. Some abuse had been done. That was for sure. “Thank you so much.”

“Yeah yeah, go on. And you make sure that if it was Sharky that did that bumpin’, then you go back and you make him think that he got you pregnant because that boy needs to learn some responsibility.”

“Uh. Sure. Yeah.” Fucking Sharky. What a thought. Well, she had considered it for a while. He was awful cute, after all, if a bit weird. She was under the impression that everyone there was a bit weird. She was a bit weird.

“Well alright then. Don’t let me see you around here any time soon.”

Right. Sep rolled her eyes as she limped out of the little clinic. The only medical help the country had was just that tiny little hut, but it did the job. She had her medicine, had the reassurance that her implant was still standing strong, and that was all she needed. She had everything that she needed.

Humming to herself, she drove her truck back into Fall’s End. She had a few groceries she could get. Nick and Kim Rye were planning on having a BBQ, and she hoped to cook a few things to bring along. Maybe she could help and make up for the bad reputation her partners had accrued. Didn't make much sense when Jacob was such a good cook, but maybe he didn't like to cook for other people.

Because she was going to the BBQ with them. All of them. Huh. What a thought. How was she supposed to explain that to everyone else in town? Hey, sorry I keep disappearing every two weeks but its because I’m finding another Seed family member to absolutely destroy. Yeah I’m with all of them now. That wouldn't fly very well, now would it.

She rolled her eyes at herself, dropping a package of pasta into her hand basket. Something she should probably discuss with them at some point. They were religious pillars of their communities and she was just there, being their Wife and being godless and all that. She couldn’t bear it if she dragged them down at all. They’d know what to do.

And they’d shown that since that night. Day. However long that whole mess had taken. They gave her some space, but still let her know that they all loved her very much.

Faith had left a little basket of jam cookies by her door, a little bouquet of flowers nestled in with it. Jacob put a wood carving of a wolf on her windowsill. John had a gorgeous necklace delivered to her door. And Joseph, silly Joseph, had a farmer gift her with a lamb.

They all cared for her, but they knew she was skittish. It was a lot to take in, suddenly becoming the Wife to such amazing people. They let her grow at her own pace, let her accept it in time. So good of them. If only there was something she could do for them…

Shrugging it off, she took her basket of groceries to the counter, flashing a smile to the clerk. Tim was his name, she thought. He didn’t talk all that much except to point out fishing spots. Maybe she should get into fishing.

The front door of the shop jingled, and while Sep wanted to think nothing of it, the hurried step across the wood floor told her otherwise.

“Hey there.”

“Mary May,” Sep greeted, looking up. “Hey. What’s up?”

“So. Uh.” The woman sighed, scratching the back of her neck. “Someone swung by the bar, askin’ about you. I told her where you lived without thinking about it. I am so sorry. I didn’t think it could be someone that you wouldn’t want to see. Were you expecting a friend?”

A friend. Oh fuck right. “Yeah! Yeah.” Nope. Whoops. “Yeah, that’s fine, Mary May. No harm, no foul. How long ago was this?”

“Just a few minutes. Really, if it’s not I can go up there and tell them I was mistaken or something.”

“No no, it’s fine.” She completely forgot. “I’ve been expecting them.” No, she hadn’t. “I’ll go up and see her right away.” Because if she took too long there might be a murder.

“Okay, okay,” Mary May sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “Good. I was so worried there. I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s fine. What’s the worst that could happen in Hope County? Nice and peaceful here.” Sep shrugged it off, thanking Tim for her groceries, getting a tip of his hat in return. “If it all goes well, I’ll bring her around to eat at the Spread Eagle.”

“Well, alright. I look forward to it.”

Sep wasn’t. Not so much.

Couldn’t hold it off any longer, though. She had to go and face the shit that she had been setting up for herself for a long, long time. So she got in her truck and she headed for home, gripping the wheel much too tight. She could only imagine what was going to happen. She wouldn’t blame her for the anger.

As much as she wanted to slow on her drive up to her house, she didn’t. She made herself keep going, and she made herself park, even when she saw the dirt bike parked by her front step. It was fine. Everything was fine.

Just as she slipped out of her truck, her front door slammed open, bouncing off of the wall to hit the person that was coming out.

And out stepped her only friend, her best friend in the whole wide world, and she looked fucking pissed.

“Alina!” Sep called out, her voice a shake. “Hey! I-”

“What the fuck, September!”

Right. She deserved that. Closing the door of her truck, she stepped around to the front, hugging herself awkwardly. Just stand and wait for Alina to approach and everything would be fin-

Alina lunged, clamping her arms around Sep hard and dragging her into a painful hug, crushing her against her chest. Smothering her, smushing her face against her shoulder and absolutely crushing her.

“I was so fucking worried,” Alina gasped, rocking her ever so slightly. “You inconsiderate piece of shit.”

Yeah she was. Sep sighed, hugging her friend back. She should have done something about it a long time ago. “I’m s-”

“Don’t you fucking apologize. Apologies don’t do shit.” No more hug necessary, apparently, as she shoved Sep back to point harshly at her. “You disappeared for months, Sep. Months! I tried everything to get in contact with you, and nothing. When I finally track you here, and you’re not even at your house, what am I supposed to think? What the fuck? How could you even-”

“Alright, I’m sorry! I know. I know it’s a lot but I swear, I can explain everything.” Could she? What a conversation. “And see? I’m fine. Everything is fine. I just completely forgot my phone.” Because hot family and great sex. “So let’s go inside and we can talk.”

Alina’s eyes narrowed, suspicious. Understandably so. Sep waved her down, circling her truck so she could get her medicine and groceries out of the passenger seat.

“You’re limping. Why are you limping? And this truck is yours?”

“Uh. That’s part of the explanation. Just follow me.”

It really was fantastic to see Alina again. Her friend was an absolute rock. She was strong, confident, and extremely smart. Honestly, she was something that Sep aspired to be. Alina was one of those tattooed badasses that could pick up any asshole and throw them down the street.

Sep had met her online, really. Alina had this bomb Instagram account of fitness motivation as well as cat worship, and Sep had just started commenting and then a friendship had started. Usually, Alina liked to hear about her recipes and her cooking. But then they talked about personal things and they’d visited and it was great. Alina knew about her moving, about her abusive mother and all that. So her worry made sense.

Once they were inside, she set her groceries on the counter, fussing about getting a pot of coffee going. Show how nice it was there. How well she was doing. Even if she was still fucking limping.

Alina’s attention wandered around her house, taking in detail of the whole thing.

“Well? Is it acceptable?”

“Mm? As far as I can tell.” Alina crossed her arms on the table, lifting a brow her way. “You going to start explaining, or what?”

“I…” How to start? In a way that made any kind of sense? “This place has been good for me, Alina. Everyone here is really nice. The people in town helped me move in, gave me the furniture that I needed, brought me food-”

“And bought you a car.”

“No, that was…” She bit her lip, sliding the box of pasta she bought into the cabinet. “That was John.”

“Oh?” That made Alina sit up a bit straighter. “A man bought you a car?”

“John bought me a car. They knew I needed one, so he bought it for me.” Focus. Speak words.

“They knew?”

“Right, sorry. Let me just…” She slid over, settling at the table across from Alina. “I met Father John. He’s the pastor of the church in Fall’s End. He…”

“Good god you’re crushing on a pastor.”

If only. “Stop interrupting.”

“Oh my god.”

“Alina.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“Anyways.” She cleared her throat, glancing over at the little carved wolf on her mantle. “I…” Dancing around it. It was stupid. “I’m in a relationship, Alina. I’m in love.”

“With the pastor?”

“Yes. And more.”

Alina stared at her for a moment, blinking slowly. Her calm broke when she stroked her hands over her face, into her hair. “Okay. Let’s be a little blunter. Let’s say some things.”

“I am in a relationship with multiple people, Alina.” There was that warm flush on her cheeks as soon as she said it. “And I’m sorry, but that is what kept me from actually being aware that I hadn’t been using my phone. Like, at all.”

“Well yeah. Multiple people will do that. But what the fuck? A pastor? Really?”

“Two pastors, a veteran, and a rehab specialist. So. Um.” Sep shrugged, standing up. The coffee was about ready, of course. “And I should probably mention that they’re family.”

“What.”

“Three brothers and a sister.” And they were all great. They were her new family and she loved them all very much. “It’s new.” Kind of. Not really. It’d been building up for a while. “And I’m happy.”

“Well shit. Fucking around with four other people would do that.”

“I love them, Alina. And they love me too. Like, Jacob made this for me.” Holding two mugs of coffee in one hand, she plucked up the little wood wolf, bringing it back to the table with her. “He worked really hard on it.”

“It’s nice, yeah.” Alina took her coffee and the wolf, turning it over in her hand. “So. Jacob.”

“Jacob, Joseph, John and Faith.”

“Oh my god.”

“Shut up. They’re religious, yeah, but they’ve never tried to force it on me.” Kind of. Baptizing her and reciting bible verses during sex was a bit odd, but it didn’t make her any more religious than she was in the beginning. “They’re good people, Alina. They’ve come from a background like mine. They understand.”

“Right.” Alina sipped at the coffee, setting the wolf down on the table. “Doesn’t seem good that they’d make you break off all contact with the outer world.”

“They didn’t make me do anything. That was all me. That was my fault.” Settling down, she dumped sugar and creamer into her coffee until it was much, much paler. “They’ve encouraged me to get out more. Because of my truck, I’ve really managed to get out more. They’ve taken me flying over the county, encouraged me to see the wilds, everything. They’re really great.”

“Are they why you’re limping?”

“Yes.” Alina’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Dick too bomb.”

“Oh gross.”

“You asked.” Sep shrugged, sipping her coffee. “But hey, I’m happy to see you.”

“Yeah, I’m glad to see that you’re not dead, like I thought that you were.”

“Yeah… Sorry about that.”

“Mm. I suppose I’d forget about talking to people if I was fucking around with four people.”

“You should meet them!” Because she wanted to show off how happy she was, that was why. “I’m sure they’ll love you.”

“Hm.” Alina lifted a brow. “Right. Well, I suppose, since I’m here. I traveled all the way here into the middle of fucking nowhere, I might as well make nice with the locals.”

“Yes,” Sep gasped, clapping her hands together. “I’ll give them a call.”

“Yes. With the phone that you’ve owned for months.”

“Shut up.” Unhooking her phone from the charger, she hurried to the front door, stepping out. Had to be polite, after all. It was rude to sit around talking on the phone around someone else.

Well she was going to call until she saw the wolf sitting on her front porch.

“Bezo!” She gasped, delighted, shoving her phone in her pocket to go for the big doggo. Bezo, of course, started to thump his tail on the porch and pant and completely submit to her pets and scratches.

But, of course, if Bezo was there…

“Baby girl.”

“Jacob!”

The man in question leaned against the wall beside her doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. And where there was a smile on his lips just for her, there was a bit of tension in his brow.

“Everything okay?” Giving Bezo one last pat, she stood up straighter.

“Heard of someone asking about you around town. Just wanted to make sure it was a friend.” Pushing away from the wall, he moved closer to her, cupping her face with one hand, checking her over. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Alina is a friend of mine. She was just checking up on me. I may have neglected to call her for a few months.”

He smirked, glancing towards the door. “Easy to forget how to call, huh?”

“Yeah, especially when dealing with my needy Husbands and Wife.”

“Damn right.”

Pushing up onto her tip-toes, she was rewarded by him leaning down to meet her kiss. She was really going to have to get used to the feeling of a beard on her face. So many goddamn beards in Montana.

“Sep, I heard a- Oh.”

Right. Totally. Sep moved back a bit, clearing her throat. “Alina, hi. This is Jacob. Jacob, this is Alina.”

Jacob hummed, his thumb brushing over her cheek one more time. “Be seein’ you soon, baby girl. Send John a message about that dinner date, alright?”

“Of course. Yeah.” Whatever he needed.

Jacob cast Alina just a single glance before walking away. He paused for a moment, kneeling down to stroke Bezo’s head, then continued on. His wolf rose, following obediently down the front steps, on down her driveway, and away. Just walking. Probably had his jeep parked in a weird place, the bastard.

Alina stared after him. “Was that a wolf?”

“Yeah. Bezo. I wonder where Prav is. His other wolf.”

“Right. Because having two wolves is totally normal.” Alina scowled down the driveway at Jacob’s retreating figure, half hanging in the doorway. “Also randomly showing up on your doorstep is totally normal.”

“You randomly showed up on my doorstep.”

“Not the same thing and you know it.”

“He was just checking in on me. You even freaked out Mary May, what with your prowling around town. He probably heard about some weird lady prowling around town and wanted to make sure I was okay.” Shrugging it off, she headed back inside, pulling out her phone to tap away.

“Oh, so you remember your phone enough to have their numbers but you can’t call me.”

“Yes, I know, I’ve made some mistakes. But you’re here now and its fine.”

“Sure it is.”

Okay, so Alina’s distrust made sense. It was all very strange, at least from an outside perspective. To have a friend disappear for months, only to find her in a relationship with a whole family? It was a little weird. But it was good. She was happy, and that was important.

She had never been so fucking happy. And that was what Sep chose to focus on.

Sep wandered back into her sitting room later that evening, tapping through her phone. Alina sat stretched out on the couch, idly flipping through the tv stations. She really didn’t have that many channels.

“Dinner tonight good for you?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Alina glanced up, tapping the volume down. “What’s the plan?”

“Looks like John will be hosting. Makes sense. He does have the nicest house.” Sep shrugged, tucking her phone away. “You want to shower before we go?”

“What, do I have to be especially clean? Is this not good enough?”

“No, I suppose that’s fine. I’m going to go dress up, though.” Because why not. She hadn’t had a chance to really dress up for them in a while.

“I will accompany you. So we can talk more.”

Good. Talking was good. Sep gestured for her to follow, heading upstairs to her bathroom. Draping a towel around her shoulders, she sprinkled a little dry shampoo into her hair, combing it through. Her hair would take a rather long time to dry if she showered, so might as well It made her hair extra nice and fluffy and she wanted to look good for her Husbands and Wife.

“Alright. So.” Alina sank down onto the lid of the toilet, hugging a knee to her chest, her other leg extended out to nudge at the trailing edge of a hanging bath towel. “Is there anything I should know about them? Any particulars I need to worry about?”

“Well…” Sep hummed, her brushes slowing in her stroke through her hair. “Joseph is kind of really intense in the contact of the physical and eye sort. You might want to get used to that.”

“No wonder you fell in love with them, you touch-starved hermit,” Alina huffed, a bit of humor in her voice, but there was just enough gravity that Sep had to pause, turning to look at her. “I’m just worried that they might be…well, I don’t know them. I haven’t met them. But a lot of aspects of this are making me uncomfortable and I worry about you. You are a fragile person. Well, not really, but also yes. You’ve got your weaknesses, and I’m worried that they might be taking advantage.”

“They don’t gain anything from doing so. I have nothing to offer them.”

“Besides yourself. Don’t sell yourself short. Having you in itself is a prize, don’t you think?”

“Aww, shucks,” Sep tsked, setting down her brush. “But really. It’s fine. They’re fine.”

“They bought you a car. They made you forget to call your friends. They randomly show up on your front doorstep with a wolf and a knife as long as my forearm.”

“Did he have a knife?” She hadn’t noticed. “Pretty sure he always carries that.”

“Is that normal for around here?”

“Yes. People walk around with rifles, Alina. Having a weapon around here isn’t anything special.” Sweeping her hair back, she started to put on her makeup, taking special care. “Jacob’s a big pushover. He didn’t mean anything about it.”

“Sure he didn’t. I’m under the impression that if he thought I was going to hurt you, he would have tried to truss me up like a turkey. Which, by the way, a turkey jumped on my bike on the way up here.”

“Yeah, they do that.” Sep shrugged, sorting through her brushes. “I like to think that your beau would do the same for you.”

“Not like your country bumpkins. Are all of them like Mountain Mike? Should I expect more beards and knives?”

“Beards, yes. A man without a beard is…weird. Out here.” Picturing any of her Husbands without their beards was just too weird. “Jacob is the gruffest of them, that’s for sure. John is very…well, he was a big time lawyer for a long time, so he’s pretty charming. Joseph is pretty normal.” Reciting bible verses not withstanding. “Faith is all sunshine and rainbows. It’ll be fine. You’ll like them.”

“I’ll make my own opinion.” Alina rose from the toilet, standing behind Sep to watch her put the finishing touches on her makeup. “Hot.”

“Thank you. I like to think so.” Fluffing her hair, she wandered back out to her bedroom, rummaging around through her cabinets to get clothes.

“Dinner, then back here.”

“Probably. Unless it runs late and John offers you a guest room. He has a really nice house.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not sure that I want to be in a house while you share a room with four other people. I’m all about you doing your own thing but ew.”

“Well sex certainly won’t happen. It’s a swamp mixed with a toxic waste dump down there. It’s a no go for anyone for a long time.”

“Oh gross.”

“Like cottage cheese milked from a sardine.”

“Please, stop.”

“Like-”

“Oh god, shut up,” Alina groaned, grabbing a pillow off of her bed to smack her with it. “Pick your damn clothes so we can go.”

Sep chose not to comment at the confused look from Alina when she put on a dress. She just wanted to look nice for them, so they could trust that they could take her places. They could go out and look nice all together. She fit in with the family just fine.

Alina grumbled to herself the moment they were on the road to John’s house. At Sep’s lifted brow, she shrugged and grumbled out a compliment about the car. It really was a nice truck. Her grumblings, however, stopped when they drove up the long, winding dirt road to John’s house, his massive house and his airstrip.

“Well.”

“Well indeed. John’s pretty well off.” There was that pride in her voice when she parked beside Jacob’s jeep. “Can’t say I didn’t marry into money.”

“Di- what- married- what-” Alina sputtered, lunging for Sep. “The fuck you say?”

“A joke! It was a joke!” No it wasn’t. They were her Husbands, her Wife! They baptized her into it, giving her over to them all at once. They’d consummated the marriage after all. “Don’t freak out so much. It was a joke.”

Alina’s eyes narrowed, but she released her all the same. What else could she do about it, anyways? They had to go in and eat.

The moment they mounted the front step, the door opened wide, paired with a delighted gasp that could only have come from Faith. And Faith it was indeed, hurrying out on her bare feet to hug Sep, pressing her familiar butterfly kisses to her cheeks. Satisfied with enough shared love, she clasped Sep’s hands and stepped back, looking her over.

“How pretty you are, angel! Was this all for us?”

“And for me. I wanted to look nice.” She gave Faith’s hand another squeeze, stepping back to look at Alina. “Faith, this is my very best friend Alina. Alina, this is Faith, youngest of the Seeds.”

“Seed. What a name.” Alina smiled, offering a hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine!” Faith fluttered over, taking Alina’s hand in both of hers, smiling so sweetly. “Have you been a soldier? I see some of the fire in you.”

“Uh, yeah.” Alina glanced at Sep uncertainly. “I was a soldier. A-”

“Marksman, no doubt? You have the hunter’s eye.” Faith hummed knowingly, tapping a finger under her eye. “You and Jacob have much in common then.”

Alina cast Sep a glance, just a glance, as they headed on inside. There was a warning there, and a very large part of Sep wanted to shove her friend in the chest and demand to know why she was so paranoid of the people she loved. But she kept it in. Just keep it in and play it cool.

John’s house was really fantastic. As much as she wasn’t totally into the taxidermy in there, it was pretty cool, especially with the fireplace in the center that was very, very classy.

It was a little less classy in how John paced a bit in front of the fire, but Joseph’s calm presence in the chair beside the fire, a book in his hand canceled it out. Why John was so nervous, she would never know. Either way, she was just happy to see them.

She hurried forward, the soft tap of her shoes, alerting the two of them to her presence. Joseph looked up slowly while John’s attention snapped around, a grin lighting up his face at the sight of her.

“John,” she sighed, moving to meet him, taking his hands to take the kiss he pressed to her lips. He let go of her hands then to enfold her in his arms, giving her a tight squeeze. “My friend, John. Say hi to Alina.”

“Right.” Rubbing her back briskly, he moved back just enough to look at Alina. “Hello.”

“Hi. John, was it?” Alina moved forward, offering her hand. “The pastor.”

“Exactly.” He clasped her hand, shaking it. “It’s a pleasure. Any friend of Sep’s is a friend of mine.”

Sep quickly pecked John’s cheek in apology before she slipped out of his grip to hurry over to Joseph. And for her, he closed his book and set it aside, cupping her face with both hands to draw her down for a very nice kiss. But when she went to draw back, his fingers tensed, keeping her close, meeting her eye, his brow slightly furrowed.

“Is she a good friend, lamb? Is she to be trusted?”

Oh. “You heard about earlier?”

“Yes. Is she welcome to stay here?”

“Yes, Joseph. I trust her with my life.”

He smiled in that gentle way of his, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles on her skin. “Then I will trust her too.”

“Thank you, Joseph.” Her eyes closed at the touch of his brow to hers, waiting until he released her to draw away. Something about the whole situation was a little wrong, she knew that. That was not how normal people responded to meeting a partner’s friend. Still felt fine to her.

Joseph rose from his seat, just as saintly as ever. He moved in, opening his hands to Alina. “Welcome to Hope County, Ms. Devchenko. I hope you find Sep’s living situation to be adequate.”

Alina flinched, ever so slightly. There was tension in her shoulders, aggression in her stance. “Yeah. It’s fine. How do you know me?”

“No need to be worried, Ms. Devchenko. My brother Jacob learned of your name from Mary May, the owner of the Spread Eagle. You met her earlier, did you not?” He stopped in front of her, offering up only one hand. “I am Joseph.”

“Right. Eye contact.” Clasping his hand, she shook it. “And how old are you?”

“Alina!”

“No, she is right to ask. I am forty-four years of age. My brother Jacob, however, is forty-seven. I assume the many years between us and our lamb make you uncomfortable.”

“A bit. So one of you is about twice her age. It’s a bit much.”

“I assure you, we are not molding her or training her to be our perfect partner. All of this that we share is out of honest love and care. I love her very much. I would never do anything to harm her.”

“Intentionally or not, it could happen. She’s young and vulnerable. If she’s shared even a part of her past with you, you understand how easy it would be to manipulate her. You tread carefully, now.”

“Alina, please,” Sep hissed, moving in between the two of them. “I-”

“No, lamb. Her concern is warranted. I appreciate it. It shows me that there are more people in the world that love you. She is right to rise up in the face of this. In the word of God, this would be seen as impure, as sin. It is up to us,” he paused, reaching up to cup her jaw, his thumb brushing over her lips, “to show that the pureness of love can make even our discretions holy.”

The tension lingered for a moment longer. Just a moment, just a moment longer, then it dropped away, Alina shrugging her shoulders as her aggressive stance followed.

“Well alright. Let’s have dinner then?”

Joseph smiled, nodding obligingly. “Sounds lovely. Jacob should be finished very soon.”

Well that was awkward. Yeah, okay, her Husbands were much older than her, but it was fine. She had always liked older men as It was. It was fine. They weren’t manipulating her in any way. Because, despite what Alina thought, they really did not have much to gain from her. They could have anyone in Hope County, and they chose her.

When they all moved for the dining room, Faith hurried up, catching her hand.

“You’re sick, aren’t you angel?”

“Oh, well, kind of.” Sep shrugged, patting Faith’s touch. “Our consummation got me a little…well, messed up.”

“I hope you’ll forgive my brothers for their eagerness.” Faith glanced uncertainly at Alina’s back, moving closer to speak softly. “They’ve never had such a pretty Wife. I trust that, in time, you will be used to satisfying them all.”

“I hope so.” She really hoped so. As overwhelming as it all had been, it had been the best experience of her entire life. To be so encased, taken in by their desires, she felt useful in a way that she never had before. “Just give me a little time and I’ll be good. And ready to receive my Husbands again, for as long as they need.”

Faith smiled sweetly, bringing Sep’s hand up to kiss her knuckles. “And that is why you are an angel.”

She liked to think so.

In the dining room, Jacob set a platter down on the table, stepping back to survey the spread. He took a long moment to look over, his attention intense and focused on Alina the moment he laid eyes on her. However, at Joseph’s slight wave, his stance relaxed, and he opened his arms to Sep.

She hurried to meet him, taking his kiss with a happy sigh.

“You look beautiful, baby girl,” he rumbled to her, brushing her bangs back, off of her face.

“Thank you, Jacob.” Patting his chest, she moved back. No need to stay all snuggled up and make Alina any more uncomfortable than she was. “What’s for dinner?”

“Pork chops, Georgia style. Taste of home. I thought it might be appreciated.” He shrugged, waving at the table. “Let’s sit.”

As much as she wanted to sit with the others, she settled beside Alina. It wouldn’t do any good to leave her stranded, alone.

Sep reached for the serving fork, only for Joseph to lay his hand over her. “Allow me, lamb.”

Right. He set about serving the table, placing a chop on everyone’s plate.

“So,” he sighed, glancing up at Alina. “What is it that you do, Ms. Devchenko?”

“Just Alina is fine. And I’m the International Implementation Specialist of Global Resonance.”

“That big tech company, yeah? I handled a case for them some years back.” John nodded to Joseph, leaning back in his seat. “Trade network?”

“Yeah. We work on creating proper communication lines between big tech companies around the world. Makes sharing advances a lot easier. I run PR with most places.”

“Right. You’re the one that got Russia in line.” John tsked, shaking his finger at her, a grin spreading across his face. “I remember hearing about that in the case. And that one prick almost fucked it up.”

“John. Language.”

Alina lifted a brow, but plowed on nevertheless. “Yeah, but I handled it. You know an awful lot about us.”

John shrugged, cutting into his pork chop. “I remember my cases. In case, you know, I have to revisit it. Having that kind of memory kept me on top.”

Alina’s eyes narrowed, head tilting to the side a bit. “Wait. Seed. I think we might have been in the same courthouse one time. John Seed.”

“Yeah, probably.”

What a coincidence. Sep shared a smile with Faith, quietly eating. It was nice to hear that aggression going away.

When that conversation petered out, Faith piped up, asking Alina about the tattoos she bore. That brought up John as a tattoo artist. And then Jacob mentioned being a soldier, then they moved in to talking about recovering after battle. Then they talked about his wolves, how they were good doggos.

And it all went surprisingly quickly. It felt like no time at all passed until Faith was collecting up their dishes, humming sweetly while Alina and John bickered about some technological advancement of some kind. The clink of their plates startled Alina into glancing up.

“Oh. Uh. I kind of put a monopoly on the conversation there, didn’t I?”

“And that pleases me. It is good to see you becoming so comfortable with our family.” Joseph stood to help Faith, clearing the table with absolute efficiency. “Perhaps, then, you would be willing to trust us with Sep.”

“Right.” Alina sighed, pressing her palms to the table. “I just worry about her.”

“As is good and right to do so. Sep is special, and deserves to be protected. She is in good hands here, with us. While it may take four of us to give her all that she needs, but we are doing our very best.” Joseph paused in his journey past her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “And will continue to do so.”

“Right.” Alina stood, nodding to them. “It has been a lovely dinner, but I do think I’ve overstayed my welcome long enough.”

“Nonsense. You are more than welcome to stay. John has plenty of guest rooms, if you’d like to sleep here.”

“No, I think I rather go back to Sep’s. Thank you for your hospitality, but we should be going.”

Joseph’s brow furrowed ever so slightly, irritation reading for the first time that she had ever seen. Such a look made Sep hop up, moving around the table so she could pull him down, giving his cheek a kiss.

“That’s fine,” she murmured, glancing down, falsely demure. “I need time to recover from the consummation, after all, and I’m not sure if I’d be able to resist if I were here with you all tonight. Because this body…this body knows deeply of sin, Father.”

Well, his irritation certainly left pretty fucking quickly, if only to make room for the absolute and intense need. It was a look she had never seen before, one she wasn’t quite sure of how to handle since there was fucking nothing she could do about it.

Joseph’s eyes narrowed, his nostrils flaring as he took several slow, deep breaths. Even his jaw went tight, a clench of restraint. “Yes, I do believe it is best that you take leave of this house. If you were to stay, I am not certain that I would be unable to resist putting that sinful tongue of yours to use.”

His attention flicked past her, nodding slightly. Some kind of signal, she supposed, as John cleared his throat, calling out to Alina, drawing her focus away. With that momentary pause, Joseph surged and kissed Sep hard, desperate and intense and almost too much to handle.

Yup. They had to leave. They needed to leave immediately.

“Well!” Sep cleared her throat, turning on her heel. Definitely had to leave. She might end up fucking getting on her knees with Alina there and that was not a good way to keep their friendship going. “Let’s get going, Alina!”

No time for goodbye kisses. She was barely keeping it together at that point. Nope, they had to leave. Immediately.

If Alina knew why they were fucking running from the place, she didn’t mention it. She seemed just as happy to get in to the truck. She even waved at Faith when the Seed sister bounced by the window.

“Well. That was an event.”

“Did you like them?” Patting her hands on the steering wheel, she glanced over. “I hope you liked them.”

“They were…interesting. And so far, so good.”

“You and John seemed to get along.”

“I suppose so. Lawyer turned pastor. A bit strange.” Alina sighed, resting her cheek on her hand, staring out the windshield. “They’re…”

“You still don’t like them.” Sep slumped back, doing her best to not pout.

“Hey, now, I wouldn’t say that. It’s just…I’m still a little paranoid. They’re a team. They all know each other, and you’re new into this. I just don’t want them to be manipulating you.”

“They’re fine. They’re good people, Alina.”

“I know, I know. I just care about you.”

“I know.”

Still didn’t make her very happy. She loved them. They were good to her and they made her better. But Alina didn’t know that. She only saw a part of what they were doing, what they were like. She came into it, all ready to fight.

Maybe she out off that upset air when they made it home. She probably was, considering how Alina grabbed her arm and hauled her to a stop.

“Look, I’m glad you found someone. Someones. But I just worry about you. You moved out to the middle of nowhere with a very limited population, and found a whole family of older religious people. It sounds a little strange to me, but maybe I’m just being paranoid.” Alina tugged her again, forcing her to turn and look at her. “You disappeared. You’re in a bad place. I just don’t want them to hurt you.”

Sep sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “Thanks, Alina. I appreciate it. But you know I have a pretty good sense when it comes to people. They’re good people. They treat me well.”

“Right. Just…give me a little time to deal with it. Now, do you have ice cream? Because I want some fucking ice cream.”

Sep chuckled, jerking her head to the side. “Come on. I’ve got something.”

“Good.”

Alina would see that it was fine. She would understand that her Husbands and Wife were good people for her. She would see.


	10. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sep learns why the Seeds are all so eager to have one Wife to share. She learns of her true purpose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOO FUN also I know Seedcest aint a lot of peoples things but eh

It was kind of like living at home, still.

A total and complete cockblock, really.

Sep scowled, tossing the empty pill bottle in the garbage. She was healed. She was totally ready to go back and hang out with her Husbands and Wife, but couldn’t.

Because Alina.

Not that she was actively trying to keep her away from them. It was just that Sep didn’t exactly feel comfortable going off to sleep with them. Or spend time with them. Whatever. No, sleep with them.

That was definitely what was on her mind. She was healed, they needed her, that was all that she wanted. But she had to be a good host, and an even better friend. Her needs would have to wait.

Kind of.

Sep glanced up from the table, watching Alina at the bar. She was chatting up Mary May, taking her time getting their drinks. A quiet moment.

She slipped out her cellphone, tapping at it. Might as well send some texts off, let them know she was thinking of them.

It was nice to have Alina around. She loved Alina. She was her best friend. But dammit, she wanted to have sex, dammit. How would she explain that to Alina if she randomly ditched her at her house? Hey yeah sorry I have to go I need a serious dose of dick now.

Tapping up all four of them, she set about sending out a group text.

_I miss you guys. ☹_

Simple, good. Yeah. She tapped over to her twitter account, scrolling through the messages while she waited. And really, she wasn’t sure if she should be surprised by the quick response.

**Then come see us.**

Jacob. That had to be Jacob. Yup, Jacob. She smiled wryly at it, moving to respond, only for another message to come in.

Such a sweet, needy angel. 

Faith, of course.

**_We’ve created a monster._ **

John. She was a monster, wasn’t she? She always had been one.

**_ If your friend continues to deny you what it is that you need, I find myself liking her less and less. _ **

And Joseph. So eloquent, even in text message. She couldn’t resist.

_And here I thought you and Jacob could have no idea how to use the text feature on your phone._

**Rude, baby girl.**

**_ To say the least. Such insolence. _ **

_You know it. Spending so long away from a proper guiding hand gets me awful naughty._

Cheesy, she knew. But it was fun to play with them, especially when they were all so separated. It wasn’t like they could, or would, do anything about it.

“And what are you smiling about?”

“Uh.” Sep glanced up guiltily, biting her lip. “Texting.”

“Uh huh. I can see that.” Alina slid into the booth across from her, setting down their drinks. “Been a hot minute since dinner.”

“Yeah? What’s your point?”

“You miss them, don’t you? You guys all seemed really close.”

“Yeah, well, I’m here with you. They can wait.”

“Right.” Alina lifted a brow, swirling her drink a bit. “What are you guys talking about?”

Naughty shit. She just shrugged, glancing back down at her phone.

**Someone must be healed up.**

**_Must be. Go through the plan then?_ **

Oh I love the plan. Please, let’s do the plan.

**_ I wouldn’t dream of backing down, especially when she demands such punishment. Bring my lamb to me. _ **

Wait, what? She frowned at the phone, at that conversation. That was cryptic as fuck. Not quite sure what she was supposed to feel about that. Well, maybe it was kinky talk. She just didn’t think that they would have it in them. To be kinky.

“And that face isn’t the best one ever. Now what?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Setting her phone down, she drew her own drink in. "So when was the wedding again?”

“We’re not quite sure. We’re both so busy. Iggs got a new job running PR with some prince of some small country. He’s got his hands full with the little shit, and we have to struggle a bit to find time together.” Alina shrugged. There was depression there, even Sep could see it.

“You guys have lots of money now, don’t you?” Sep scooted closer, brow lifting. “Why don’t you guys retire and move?”

“Out here?”

“Yeah! Why not? Housing is cheap, and its nice. Look at how much good it did for me!” Even someone as grating as her managed to find love with four people. Four people! “Imagine how good it would be if it was just you and Iggs together? You’d have so much time together.”

“I don’t know about that.” Alina leaned back, as if she was trying to get away from the proposition. “Hope County might be too remote for me.”

“I thought that too. But it is really great here. I mean, I know that I’m going to have to take trips into the city to counteract all of the country-ness I’m a part of, but I like it. It’s quiet, peaceful, close. It is an interesting concept to be a part of a community that all knows you.”

“Yeah, and what about when you do something embarrassing and everyone knows about it.”

“Sharky regularly walks around with no pants on. Adelaide hits on anyone and everyone. People do whatever they want. It’s weird. You’ll be fine. I’d like to have you here.” Then maybe Alina would calm down and not think there was so much going on.

“Well, I appreciate it. Really. But I’m not sure Montana is the place for me.”

“Keep it in mind. I’m sure that everyone would be happy to have you here.”

“Right. So we can all form a super happy Montana cult.”

“Hey, come on, don’t be mean.” No need to be so sassy about it. “We’re good people.”

“I know, I know. I’m teasing you.”

Right. Alina was doing her best to understand, she knew that. She wanted to understand what it was that drew Sep in so much. There was no understanding it. There was no need to understand it.

It was just…where she belonged. Some people spent their whole lives trying to hunt out where they were supposed to be. Sep was so fortunate to have found it so early in her life. She was so lucky to have found her home, found her love, found her purpose.

They talked about movies for a while. She hadn’t seen any movies in a long time. Good to know what had been going on. And it was nice until Alina plastered on a strained smile.

“John, right?”

“Right! Good to see you again, Alina.” John’s hand slid over her shoulder, squeezing firmly. “You still enjoying Hope County?”

“It suits me well enough. It’s a nice place to visit.”

“That’s good to hear. You generally live where?”

“I move a lot. Nature of the job.”

John hummed, keeping up conversation with Alina easily. Maybe he thought that was distraction enough, as his hand slid from Sep’s shoulder to the back of her neck, squeezing ever so slightly. Funny how much that was already riling her up.

“So, do you guys have any plans for later?”

“Are you inviting me along for some plans, or are you just trying to find reason to steal her?”

“Ah, smart.” John chuckled, leaning closer. “Yeah, you got me. I’d love an opportunity to sneak her off. Think you could allow that?”

Yes please. Alina was great, but Alina was not John and Joseph and Jacob and Faith.

Alina lifted a brow, glancing over at Sep. There was a question there, a request for confirmation. As if Sep wouldn’t want to go with them. She would follow them to the ends of the earth if they asked her.

“I recommend you go to find the Ryes. They’re great people. They’ll love to have your company. Just tell them you know me.”

“Right. So you can go and get laid.”

“Yes.” Sep sighed, pushing her drink away from her. “And also because it has been a while and I miss them.”

“I know, I know. Go ahead and go. I’ll find some way to entertain myself. Be safe. Use protection.”

Not likely. She still agreed, rising from the booth. “I’ll see you-”

“Make no promises, pet,” John purred, close to her ear. “You will stay as long as it takes until you are absolved of your sins.”

Oh sweet. “I’ll see you when I’m done, I guess.” Sep shrugged. “Whenever that will be.”

“Right. Okay. Well, bye then?”

Yeah, sure, bye. Alina was completely forgotten the moment they turned away. She was going home, and that required her complete focus, her entire attention. It had been way too long since she had spent any time with them at all.

“We need to find a way to get Alina to leave,” John huffed the moment they left the Spread Eagle. “If she’s going to be creating such a monopoly on your time, she needs to go.”

“You guys were taking two weeks in between coming to seduce me. This isn’t all that out of the question, you know.”

“But this is different now. You are our Wife. You’ve said it. You’ve been baptized under that, under all of the names we have given you. You should always be with us.” His voice lost that innocent air, becoming dark, lower. Hotter. “You should stay locked in my house, away from other eyes and kept pure for us to take our Love and only our Love.”

“If only,” she sighed, pausing at his truck for him to open the door for her. “But I’ve got to do my work. I’ve got to make a living.”

“Or we can take care of you. We can provide everything for you.”

What a thought. Living with them, staying in their house all the time. That would be kind of cool. Serving them, being with them…yes. She would be happy to do that for them. Whatever they needed.

“Would you let us?”

“Mm?” She glanced over when he climbed into the car. “Let you what?”

“Take care of you. Really, you could just live with us. You would never need anything.”

“Oh. I mean, it’s a nice thought. But…I mean, I can’t.”

“Why not?” He started the drive out of town, his hands gripping the wheel almost too tight. “What’s stopping you?”

“I…” What was stopping her? She had kind of imagined being in a 24/7 relationship sort of thing, but would that be a good thing? Out in Montana, all of that, would it even work? “What about my house?”

“Still yours. We could make the payments for you.”

“My chickens. My lamb.”

“We’ll bring them with you. You can still have them.”

“Alina.”  
“We can handle her. If we can get her to leave, everything would be fine.”

Really, it would be nice to be taken care of. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Alright. I look forward to your decision.”

“Cool. So.” She leaned closer, nuzzling against his shoulder. “What is the plan?”

“The plan is a secret. You’ll just have to wait and see.” There was that excitement, a wicked grin coming to him. The level of eagerness did create a swirling bit of nervousness in her gut, but it wasn’t like they had done anything to her that she hadn’t liked.

“Not even a hint?”

“No. It would ruin the fun.”

Rude. But there wasn’t really anything she could do about it. All she could do was pout and wait for him to drive up to his house.

“We are spoiling you, you know. For bringing you to my house all the time. I keep saying that we should take you to Joseph’s, but that’s mostly just me lying.” He reached over, his hand sliding over her thigh while the garage opened for him. “I like having you here, having you close. The idea of you always being in my house is surely my lust and greed speaking. I have many sins in me, especially in regards to you.”

“I guess I’m just the snake in the garden, tempting you.” Part of her was teasing. She thought it was teasing. But rather, how he looked at her made her believe that it wasn’t really teasing at all. “Do you see me as the snake? As the devil?”

“No, pet. I don’t.” They parked in the garage, the door slowly rolling shut behind them. “But.” He turned off the car, turning to face her. “I think we both know it’s not what I think…that matters.”

Well if that wasn’t cryptic as f-

The truck door behind her yanked open, a knife slicing past her hip to cut off her seatbelt. The moment she was free, hands clamped on her shoulders and dragged her out of the truck, completely immune to her scream. She was flung to the ground, the impact a slight ache compared to how the air was knocked out of her.

A bag yanked over her head, her hands were dragged behind herb ack and handcuffed. And no matter how she wriggled, she was hauled up and carried unceremoniously somewhere else.

A little weird. Part of the plan, no doubt. She made herself take deep breaths, to go still and calm down. She trusted them with her life, and they would never do anything to hurt her.

Even if it kinda hurt when she was dumped on the floor of some room or another.

Boots stomped away from her, and she was left alone in silence. Okay. That wasn’t great. She waited a moment, waited for something. But when nothing happened, she huffed, rolling to get her knees under her. Maybe if she played it right, she could stumble her way around and figure out what the fuck was going on.

A good plan, at least, until a boot pressed onto her back and pushed her, slowly, back into the floor.

“Joseph?” It had to be him, right? “What’s going on?”

The slide of a page being turned. He was reading.

Alright, weird plan. She was a part of it. Okay. Just relax, take it in stride, and trust that what they were doing was fine.

“What comes out of a person is what defiles them,” Joseph murmured, above her somewhere. “For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come-” His voice rose, a touch of fire to it. “Sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” His voice smoothed at the end, becoming that calm, soothing tone she was far more used to. “All these evils come from within you, lamb.”

Uh. “Sorry?”

“Silence, lamb, or I will have your tongue taken from you.”

Well shit. She shuddered, closing her eyes behind the dark cloth of the hood. She should be scared. She wasn’t.

“We have traversed this life in suffering, lamb. We have fought, we have slaved in the pursuit of peace. We have ached for something more for our entire lives, and have continued to lack. No matter how we strain, there is something that keeps us from finding perfection. Something we all share.” His boot drew off her back, sliding over so the toe nudged at her jawline, coaxing her head back. “We are devoid of Love.”

There was shifting nearby. The other Seeds, no doubt, watching.

“Time and time again, it has been stripped away from us. Our families, my wife, everything has been taken. Our family has been torn apart from the core.” There was a definite shake to his voice, his boot drawing away, his shifting coming closer until his hand laid on her shoulder. “Sin still seethes in us. We want for much, we need, we lust, we hate. And you…you.”

A knee dropped hard behind her, a strong hand clamping on the back of her thigh, squeezing hard. Jacob.

“You are our sacrificial lamb.”

What.

“You will take our sin. You will be a conduit, you will take our sin and purify us. And in your acceptance of our sin, you will become pure. And you will give us the love that we have been so devoid of. It is not a sin if it is us, and it isn’t lust if it’s with you. It’s pure. It’s good. Because we all love you with the entirety of our hearts, and we serve God in our devotion to you, our sacrificial lamb.”

Joseph’s touch drew away, and to replace it came Jacob’s hands. And his knife. His knife slid through the back of her shirt, slicing up, cutting away her clothes with sharp stabs and jerks. He cut off her jeans easily, yanking them away, leaving her in her underclothes and that was where he paused, his hand brushing over the soft cotton of her panties.

“It is remarkable,” Faith crooned from further off, “how one can look so pure when so steeped in sin.”

At least they liked her panties. She liked them too. All pretty sky blue and white lace and cute ruffling over her butt. She was adorable in them. It had taken her forever to find a place that sold cute lingerie for people as chubby as her. She was going to look cute, dammit.

“We must begin her transformation. She will be our conduit. She will be our lamb.”

Jacob grabbed her arms, hauling her up to her knees. Only then was the hood drawn from her, allowing her to see Joseph standing before her, shirtless, his pants riding low, the bulge in front so tantalizingly close.

Cradling a strange white bible in his hand, he gestured over her. “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion, blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.”

Her handcuffs were removed, only to be replaced with something much softer, warmer. They still kept her hands behind her back, but it was a lot more comfortable, that was for sure. Something smooth slid over her mouth, latching over the back of her head, her hair unthreaded from underneath it. It kept her mouth shut, restrained. All of that was fine. It was all fine.

Well, until something was hooked between her legs and latched around her waist.

Her attention snapped down at…a chastity belt? They actually existed? They fucking owned one? What the actual fuck?

“It will be long. It will be difficult. But we will transform you into what we need. You will become our conduit.”

She whined behind her gag, turning wide eyes up to Joseph. That was messed up. A chastity belt? Really?

“By taking lust, you will give us chastity. In gluttony, we will achieve temperance. For your greed, we will have charity. In sloth, we will know diligence. As by wrath, we have patience. Your envy will give us kindness. And by your pride, we will know humility. Once you have taken all of this from us, you will, in turn, be made pure and righteous for us. Our Wife, all that we need in this world.” Joseph clicked his bible shut, turning his wrist out. John moved forward to take his bible, cradling it close.

Okay. This was a thing. What the fuck was she supposed to do when she was gagged and fuckin-

“You will witness our sin. You will witness all that we are. You will know what you are to purify. You will know our suffering.”

Okay, cool.

Jacob bundled her up, holding her against his chest. Joseph smiled at her, ever fond, ever patient, stroking her hair back. Then he moved in, cupping her jaw and pressing a gentle kiss over her covered mouth.

And she whined, long and loud because dammit, she wanted to kiss him.

“You will know patience, lamb.”

Yeah, sure, easy for him to say.

Jacob carried her up the stairs with ease, staring straight ahead. He needed nothing from her. She was just a part of their game.

Their journey ended in the bedroom. On the floor in front of the bed was a dog bed. An actual dog bed, big and soft. Part of her wondered if it was for Prav and Bezo, but no. Jacob put her on it, made her settle comfortably.

“Here is where you will witness our sins. You will purify us. Jacob, you will be purified first.”

Jacob rumbled, a soft sound of pure satisfaction. He brushed past her, sitting on the bed in front of her, his legs spreading wide and oh so inviting. She ached to move in close, to nuzzle close and please him, but all she could do was sit there and wait.

“Lust.” Joseph circled behind her, his pace slow. “It has plagued us since our earliest days. I remember waking up in bed as a youth, tangled in my sheets and wanting most ardently for touch. I remember feeling like my skin was melting from my body, abandoned, alone. My lust was not unique to me. My brothers ached just as intensely.”

Jacob leaned back on one elbow, reaching down to palm himself through his camo pants. Gorgeous.

“All we had was each other.”

Uh. Did that-

John moved forward, dropping to his knees between Jacob’s spread legs.

Oh good god. Was that…

“We knew lust. We found comfort in each other.”

John laid his hands on Jacob’s thighs, nuzzling in against his crotch. Jacob sighed softly, pushing his fingers into John’s hair, holding him close, watching his younger brother with hooded eyes. There was an easy confidence to John’s hands, a practiced art in the way he opened his brother’s pants.

“We hold sin within us. We are impure.” Joseph gripped her shoulders, holding her steady, like he would have to force her to watch.

Like she could look anywhere else, especially when John pulled Jacob’s cock out, pressing his lips to the head. And she could say with absolute confidence that she had never been more turned on in her entire life.

John groaned, low in his throat when he took Jacob into his mouth, bobbing slowly, taking his brother like he had all the time in the world. He did not touch himself, instead sliding one hand up, over his brother’s stomach, pushing his shirt up so he could stroke his skin directly. That made Jacob moan, his head lolling back a little, but he seemed absolutely unwilling to look away from his brother.

“Witness my brothers. Witness the sin that we have known since we were children. When Jacob took the beatings meant for us, when Jacob fought our parents and took all the pain upon his body so that we would know none, we thanked him. We would be the pleasure that he did not know. We service him in thanks.”

Holy fuck. Holy fucking fuck. What a thought. No, don’t think about it. Don’t think about the three of them all tangled together in a bed and fucking each other. Holy fuck.

“You’re so good at this, John,” Jacob rumbled, kneading at his brother’s scalp. “You serve my cock well.”

John’s moan was loud, desperate. Praise kink indeed. He bobbed faster, slurping obscenely loud. He was good at it. He was damn good at it.

Sep sobbed behind her gag, wriggling her hips. If only she could actually fucking touch herself, that would be great. She was so fucking turned on watching that, and she was just forced to watch. It was the kinkiest shit she had ever been a part of.

“Does watching this arouse you, lamb? Are you feeling lust in witnessing our sin?”

Yes, holy fuck. Watching John bob down, taking as much of Jacob as he could, she felt her cunt throb with intense need to be touched. All she could do was awkwardly nod, trying to lean towards it even though there was nothing she could actually do about it.

“You truly are made of sin,” Joseph breathed by her ear, his hands stroking down her arms. “To witness such depravity and experience lust in it.”

Yeah, well, at that point she was going absolutely insane.

Jacob cursed, dragging John off of his cock until just the head remained on his touch, he stroked himself fast and hard, milking himself onto his tongue until he groaned, coming into his brother’s mouth. And John sobbed, taking every drop and swallowing it down happily.

She was going to die that way. She was absolutely going to die from being so turned on and having no way to fix the problem. What kind of suffering was that?

“In your presence here, we need no longer seek each other to satisfy our need for touch. We can use you. You can take our lust and allow us to know chastity.”

No please, please keep sucking each others dicks. Please. She could live with that.

Jacob sat up, his shirt still hitched up under his arms. He cupped his younger brother’s face and drew him up and kissed him. They kissed. They actually kissed and she had to watch and she couldn’t be a part of it.

“For everything in the world,” Joseph whispered by her ear as John clambered up over his brother, hands yanking at his vest to get it off “The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life.” Faith even wandered in, climbing onto the bed to join them. “Comes not from the Father but from the world.”

When Joseph’s hands left her, she actually sobbed, tears forming in her eyes. Don’t leave her. Please! Don’t please please just-

Joseph joined them on the bed, only for all the other Seeds to turn their attention to him. He was the most important, taking their touches like a saint.

She had to watch, alone. She couldn’t touch herself, couldn’t beg for them. All she could do was watch and ache.

It was interesting to watch, though. Faith didn’t take them into her at all. At most, they touched and serve her with their mouths, but they never put their cocks inside of her. John was the only one who took, on his knees and open to the needs of his brothers.

When they were done, when they were satisfied, she had tears streaking down her cheeks, so deprived and desperate she hardly knew what to do with herself.

Joseph knelt in front of her, his brow furrowed, intense. He cupped her jaw, holding her steady. “We will take you through our sins, lamb. You will witness. You will take from us. And you. You will know of nothing. You will go without, and you will be reborn pure.”

Please no. No no. Please. She shook her head, whimpering behind her gag. Please don’t!

“You are our Wife. And you will provide for us.”

And he drew away, and she howled behind her gag in agony.


	11. Imperishable Seed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She is reborn again. She is their Wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sensory deprivation is funnnnnn.

She knew loss. She knew what it was to suffer.

When they weren’t showing her their sins, she was blindfolded, left alone, curled on her dog bed. Sometimes they put noise canceling headphones on her, leaving her alone. When she ate, they fed her tasteless paste. No stimulus, no nothing. Deprived of touch, deprived of everything, she felt like she was going insane.

Who could say how long it had been? She had no way to track the passage of time. She lived for the times she was touched, served, known. Any touch made her cry and try to thank them behind her gag, even when it made her skin burn. Every sight of them made her love them more, made her cry in relief and try to push into their touch.

It was a constant state of arousal, too. It was strange. Her body never stopped aching, never stopped needing. It was intense, insane.

She was insane. She knew the time was passing. She knew the virtues deep inside of her, and knew that if she completed all of them, then she would be free.

Chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility.

She would be them. She would be pure for her family and she would serve them. She was their Wife.

She dreamt of things. She dreamt of living with them in a castle made of metal. She dreamt of bearing their children, her belly round and full. She dreamt of fire outside of their castle, of an end. And sometimes, just sometimes, she thought she heard a voice talking to her about hiding away in her castle with her family. She heard of seven seals, of a Lamb.

What a thought. What strange dreams.

For so long, she sat there. It was so long before hands stroked over her hair, taking her headphones off.

“Hello, lamb. Are you hungry? I’ve brought you food.”

Yeah, sure.

“Come now, sit up.” He coaxed her up, leaning her against his chest. “There we are.” He tucked at the buckles of her gag. She worked her jaw a bit the moment it was free. “Open up.”

“And I saw,” she rasped, her throat raw, impossibly so. “when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see.”

Joseph went still behind her, absolutely still. Even his breath stopped fast in his chest.

“And I saw and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.” She knew the words. How did she know the words? When had she read the bible?

His hands came to rest on her arms, a shake in them so noticeable it felt like an earthquake.

“And when he had opened the second seal,” she continued, reciting it all. She described the red horse, the power, the war and the sword. She spoke of the black horse, the balances, the justice and the oil and the wine. And the pale horse, and death, and suffering of the beasts of the earth. The fifth seal, then, the white robes and the holy Lord. Sixth, with earthquakes, and fire, and the throne and the wrath of the Lamb, the wrath of her.

And then she paused. She gasped for breath, blind to the world, knowing only his shuddering behind her, the tightness of his hands on her.

“Please,” he whispered, his lips brushing her ear. “Please. Speak. Tell me of the Seventh. Please.”

“And when he had opened the seventh seal,” she whispered, her heart tight, “there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour. And I saw the seven angels which stood before God; and to them were given seven trumpets.” Her throat was dry. Her body was on fire. “And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne.”

As she spoke, she heard shuffling footsteps nearby that stopped. Someone else was there.

“And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the saints ascended up before God out of the angel’s hand.” She was getting louder, no longer whispering. She felt nothing. She was nothing but a vessel. “And the angel took the censer, and filled it with fire of the altar and cast it into the earth: and there were Voices, and thundering and lightnings, and an earthquake!”

She was definitely screaming. She was screaming the words that she had no right to know and she could feel their eyes upon her, their Wife.

“And the seven angels! The Seven angels which had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound! And I heard! I heard a great Voice! A great Voice out of the temple saying, saying to the seven angels! Go your Ways! And pour out the vials of the wrath of God upon the Earth!”

Joseph howled then, arching back and screaming everything he had into the air. His nails dug into her flesh just a moment, his arms coming around her to hug her tight, too tight, squeezing her back against his chest and he rocked them. He rocked them back and forth as he screamed and sobbed.

“For you have been born again! Not of perishable Seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God!” She could feel tears dripping onto her shoulder. He would not stop shaking.

“Oh God.” John’s voice. He took a hesitant step closer, a waver coming to him. “Is she-”

“She has been reborn again as a Seed! As our Wife, as ours, all ours, she knows us knows our pain, oh God,” Joseph sobbed, hiding his face against her neck, outright blubbering. “She-”

“In my arm,” she choked, wriggling in his grip. “In my left arm, upper arm. There’s an implant. It keeps your children from taking root. It keeps me empty and useless. Take it out of me.”

“She is perfect,” Faith whispered nearby, tears evident in her voice. “She has been reborn?”

“She has, she is, oh God.” Joseph inhaled deeply, through tears and snot. “We-”

“Take it out of me! I’ve lied to you. Please, you deserve children and-”

“Hush, Wife. It’s okay. It’s okay, really. We can give it time. We will have time to have children.” Joseph finally let go, stroking his hands over her face. “We have all the time in the world. You are our Wife. You’ve seen our sin and come out the other side perfect and whole and everything.”

“Untie her,” Jacob snapped, his voice rough. “Untie her right fucking now.”

“Yes, yes. Of course. Yes.” Joseph’s hands scrambled over her, taking off her restraints, taking off her blindfold. As soon as she was freed, he peppered her skin with kisses, worshiping her. He turned her, cupping her face and coaxing her up for more of his kisses.

And what relief it was to feel his lips on hers again. She groaned, reveling in his touch, the first contact she had in way too long. He tasted fantastic, felt fantastic, absolutely perfection in form of her Husband.

“Please, me too. Please.” John fell beside them, reaching out hesitantly. “I want to…”

“Yes, of course.”

She got to kiss her Husbands and her Wife, got to feel their touch again, to know them. It was truly like being reborn, just for them.

Sep laid there, cradled by them all. Her head rested upon Joseph’s lap, her legs draped across Jacob’s, her arms and sides stroked by John and Faith. To know touch again was heavenly, to feel them.

“Wife,” Joseph sighed, his voice reverent. “You spoke of the seals. Of a great Voice.”

“Mm.”

“Why?”

“Because.” She opened her eyes a little, her vision hazy. “I heard a voice. In my dreams. With the blindfold and the… I heard a voice. It talked about the seven seals, of fire. Of a metal castle. Of me bearing your children.”

“Oh.” Joseph’s fingers carded through her hair. “I…you heard the Voice.”

“It’s a thing?” Her eyes opened fully, looking up at him.

“Yes. It spoke to me the same way. With a voice like thunder, it has spoken to me ever since I was a child. And it spoke to you. You have heard the same voice that I have heard. You are perfection.”

“I am your Wife. You have made me perfect.”

Joseph laughed, breathless with love and she could feel it in their eyes of all of her other spouses. “I’m so proud of you,” he sighed, thumb brushing over her lips. “You’re so beautiful, all spread out like this, just for us. You are our heavenly Lamb, sent from God just for us.”

“I am made for your love,” she mumbled, her eyes falling shut again.

“Come on now,” Jacob rumbled, sliding his hands up her sides to grip her. “Let’s get you cleaned up. I think you deserve a treat.”

“Yes! Yes, perfect. Faith and I can get started on some food for her.”

“Something gentle. No need to aggravate her stomach.”

They were fussing over her. Actually fussing. The thought of it made her smile as she accepted all of it.

Jacob carried her into the bathroom, cradling her close, managing to start up the water, even without putting her down. He waited until the tub started to fill before he put her down in it. It was deliciously warm, deliciously good, coaxing her muscles into relaxing and taking it all.

“I’ve never been much for religion,” Jacob sighed, moving around the bathroom, adding oils to the water. “But hearing you speak from the bible…that was something. That really was something.”

She smiled, reaching up, brushing the backs of her wet fingers against his cheek. “I don’t know if I believe in God still. But I do know I heard and felt something I can’t explain. And that’s more than enough for me.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “You really are something else.”

“I am your Wife.”

“Damn right you are,” he growled, leaning in to catch her for another kiss. A good kiss.

He helped her wash, scrubbing her with a washcloth until satisfied she was clean enough. It was just nice to have him there, have his company. Especially after being alone for so long.

The peace was broken when Joseph stepped into the bathroom. His eyes were wide, almost frightened, and his look was enough to make Jacob kiss her on the brow and draw away.

Sep hummed, swirling her hands in the water, at peace. Joseph seemed less so, coming to her side, sitting on the edge of the tub.

“Wife.”

“Mm.”

“We’ve long hoped for you. You have always been perfect for us, you know. The way you look, the way you act. I’ve dreamt of you for years.” His hands were cupped around something in his lap, cradling it. “I’ve loved you since I was a child.”

“I love you too, Joseph.” She smiled at him, reaching for him, pleased when he took her hand. “My family is my life.”

“That is good to hear.” Lifting her hand, he pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “And it is what…” He sighed, letting go of her. “I have something for you.”

“Oh?” That made her sit up higher in the tub, resting her hand on his thigh. “You okay?”

“Yes. I just wanted to give you this.” He turned more, opening his hand and showing her a box. A little velvet box. A ring box.

“Oh.” Her eyes locked on the box. A lovely box. “I…is that…”

“I’ve had this for a long time. I knew I would find you, and I knew I would need this. You are our Wife.”

Was he proposing to her? He was. He had to be. Oh.

“Was that your previous wife’s ring?”

“No! No. She only had a simple band because I couldn’t afford more. But I had this. I saved it for you, for my Lamb. I knew you would come.”

His thumb brushed the box open, the spring snapping the lid back and revealing a ring. A beautiful ring. A platinum band, and opal. Beautiful, colorful opal, no diamond. Perfect. A ring that she would dream of having. It was there. For her. Perfect.

“You can be our Wife. Completely.”

“Yes! Yes, please, yes.”

His attention snapped up, like he didn’t believe it. He doubted she would say yes? He actually doubted her? It didn’t matter. Because he grinned and slid off of the tub so he could kneel down, more eye level with her from the ground.

She offered up her hand, biting her lip to hold in her joy. He took her hand gently, pulling the ring from the box and sliding it onto her finger.

It was a beautiful ring. She was engaged. No. Married. She was their Wife already. She just finally had the ring to prove it.

“You are all that we have ever needed, Wife.”

“And I am happy to provide.” Her eyes fell shut when his brow touched hers, such peace filling her.

Once she was clean, Joseph clothed her in soft cottony clothes, brushed her hair until it was dry and fluffy, then led her out to the dining room. Her other Husbands and Wife waited for her there, and when she lifted her hand with the ring, they fairly cheered. Faith rushed up to kiss her face all over, John held her close, and Jacob stroked her hair back and kissed her on the cheek.

How domestic. How relaxing. Sharing a dinner with them, so at home. She was right where she needed to be. Right where she belonged.

“It is good to see you so at home here, pet,” John sighed, looking at her so goddamn fondly. “Such a short transition time.”

“It just took me a while to figure out that I am yours. I know better now.”

“Does that mean…” John leaned closer, fumbling with his fork. “You’d like to let us take care of you? Completely.”

She hummed, looking at all of her family around the table. What a thought. Never have to worry for anything. When she was younger, she had worried about people taking control of her life, with her being unable to take care of herself, but what was there to worry about? She had her family. They would never leave her, never hurt her. She could trust them. She did trust them.

“We can work out a schedule. Where you stay certain days, who takes care of you…”

“That sounds nice. I’d like that. But do you think we could work my house into the schedule? It would be nice to have you guys there, with me, every once in a while. I do like my house.”

“Of course, lamb. Whatever you need.”

“Thank you.”

Joseph started to turn back to his food. Something stopped him though, his attention hesitantly flicking up to her face. “Lamb?”

“Yes?”

“If you ever hear the Voice again…would you tell me?”

“Of course, Joseph.” She leaned over, resting her hand over his. His hand turned over, lacing his fingers with hers, that look in his eyes that made her heart flutter like crazy. “No more secrets. No more lies. I will share everything with you.”

“Good. Good.” Drawing her hand in, he pressed a reverent kiss to her knuckles. “And we will share love with you.”

“And that is all that I need.” All she needed was their love. That was all that she had ever needed.

She kept looking at her ring. Even as she helped clean up, even as she became terribly, horribly domestic, she looked at her ring and felt true happiness. What a weird concept. To be so happy, so at home.

It was Faith who told her that she took six days to be purified, and she should take the seventh to rest. It was holy, it was good, she took the perfect amount of time to be reborn for them.

She and Faith spent some time together, sewing. Faith had to teach her that her stitching was actual shit. Faith was so talented in that regard. Her stitching was perfect, so perfect it almost looked like it was machine made. Such a careful hand, careful touch. She was amazing. Her careful hand was even more apparent in her sweet kisses and stroking fingers between Sep’s thighs, her voice nothing but praises in her perfection.

Later, Sep found her way to Jacob. He was stretched out flat on his belly in the grasses outside, a bright red rifle in his hands, aiming down the scope at some targets way down the field. When she knelt down beside his form, he tugged her down onto her belly, quietly telling her how he did it, the quiet breaths and breeze paired beautifully. He helped her clasp the rifle, his arm draped over her back, his soft voice so warm by her ear. When she centered the sights on the target, his hand skated down her back, dipping into her waistband. There was a laugh in his voice when she shuffled her legs apart for him. She never managed to squeeze off a shot.

She went to help John with lunch. He was a terrible cook, not quite capable of following recipes. She had to take over, tutting over his fumbling attempts. He took her instructions with a laugh, rolling up his sleeves and working beside her happily. They shared some stories, talking quietly, enjoying each other’s company. She kept up preparing lunch when he pressed behind her, working her shorts down. It was hard to focus, but she managed it. Just barely.

They all shared lunch, sitting in the front room by the fire place. They talked about what she liked, at least intimately. They wanted to make sure that their love was just what she needed. They weren’t familiar with everything, but they were more than happy to learn. She was just as happy to learn about them. She promised to become perfect, but Joseph just tsked and assured her she was.

Faith took their dishes after, and when the others left, Joseph took her hand and led her to the back porch. They sat quietly in the Adirondack chairs, enjoying the breeze, his company. She didn’t even hear him speak, but somehow, she knew to slide over into his chair, to straddle his lap and nuzzle in against his neck. He murmured prayers into her hair, stroking his fingers through it.

She was fit to doze off, but he spoke to her, his voice soft, careful.

“Did…did you really hear the Voice?”

“Of course I did, Joseph.” She sighed against his skin, tracing shapes against his shirt. “I have no reason to lie to you.”

“I suppose so. I just never imagined anyone would ever hear it too. I thought I would be alone, always. My brothers listen to me, take me at my word, but you…you can hear it too. You always were meant for something more, weren’t you?”

“Just to be with you. Support you any way that you need.” She pulled back, humming when his brow pressed to hers. “However you need me, Husband.”

“If I were a greedy man, I’d hoard you away for myself. But I am beyond such sin, and I am fortunate that you carry enough Love within you for all of my family. We have no need of greed when you are so full of charity.”

“My trials made me worthy.” Such sweet nuzzling. It did her well. “Of you. Of the Voice.”

“Indeed.” His lips met hers in a gentle press, sweet, romantic. A good Husband. A fine Husband.

It was a fine day with them. So relaxing, so peaceful. Dinner was good, nice. They didn’t talk much. And after dinner, Joseph had John run a bath in the truly massive bathtub upstairs. They all bathed together, Faith perched on the edge of the tub, swirling her hands in the water. Jacob rested behind Sep, stroking shampoo through her hair. Joseph dozed in the warmth, and John fussed with his beard, combing oils through it. They were a tangle of limbs in the water, so close, but not close enough. It was better at bed time, when they all flopped into the same big bed, draping over one another, holding each other close. She thought it would be difficult to sleep with so much warmth, so many bodies, but it was fine. It was the most comfortable she had ever been in her entire life.

After all, the rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.


	12. Amazing Grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sep is a Seed now, no matter what anyone else has to say about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mannnn I want to get another tattoo but im fuckin broke tattoo me John plz

“You are magnificent.”

“Careful, lest you bring back the sin of pride in me.”

“You could never. You are beyond that now, lamb.”

He only wished. She just smiled, her eyes still closed. If only she could sleep, but the pain was enough to keep her aware the whole time. She never got used to the continuous scrape of needles over her flesh.

It was a long time coming. It had taken days, actually, to get that far. She was happy to have made it that far. She was stronger than she thought.

It felt like every inch of her skin ached. Maybe it was. There were certainly so many parts of her that were bleeding. She really had to commend John for being so determined, so focused. He was a master with the needle.

There was no conversation needed beforehand. It just…happened. She sat in the chair, and she accepted it. And with each mark of ink, with each moment, she became yet more perfect.

“She calls again.”

There was the sneer in Jacob’s voice, the distaste evident when his bulk thudded down at her footstool. “This is the sixth time.”

“She will only keep calling unless I answer. Might as well give me the phone.”

“Don’t you dare move, pet.” John glanced up, swiping the cloth over the inked flesh before him. “I’m almost done here.”

“Will you ever be done with me,” she teased, reaching up with her free hand, stroking his sweaty hair back.

“You’ll run out of spare skin soon enough. I’m running out of ideas, anyways.” He shrugged, dipping for more ink. “Put the phone on speaker, then. Since she shouldn’t hold it.”

“Fair enough.” Jacob tapped the phone twice, holding it out, closer to Sep. He gave her a curt nod, urging her on.

“Hello Alina,” Sep sighed, looking tiredly to the phone. “You’ve got me now. What do you need?”

“Alright, you did say you’d be back when you were done, but it’s been over a week. No one in town has seen you. No one knows where you are. And I figure you’re with all your sex toys.”

“They are not sex toys,” Sep tsked, rolling her eyes. “I love them for everything, not just how they satisfy me.”

Alina huffed, a strange sound. “That’s weird. You sound weird. You don’t normally talk like that.”

“Like what? I’m not quite sure I follow.”

“You sound like Joseph. All…holy. And shit.”

“I won’t have you speaking badly of my Husbands and Wife. They’re good people, and have aided me in feeling better about myself. They’ve done nothing but good.”

There was a pause over the phone. A long pause. “Husbands. Wife.”

John glanced up from his tattooing, meeting Jacob’s eye. There was some kind of communication there, some kind of understanding, as Jacob leaned back, pulling the phone away from Sep and holding it close.

“Now you listen here, Lieutenant Devchenko,” Jacob growled, staring angrily off into the distance. “You mind your step and keep in line. No need to go and stick your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“I have every right to be concerned about Sep. She sounds different. She’d been gone for two fucking weeks now. And you, fucker, are probably brainwashing her. I know your type. I’ve seen in. And you all took advantage of her wh-”

“Enough!” Sep snapped, wishing she could lunge forward, but John’s careful tattooing kept her still. “I know well enough what I am doing! I am where I belong! Now hang up the fucking phone!”

Jacob let out a sharp laugh, tapping the phone on silent, then threw the damn thing over his shoulder, letting it clatter across the stone floor. “She won’t like that, you know. She’ll probably come for you.”

“She can try. I have fine Jacob as my war, John as my justice. Neither of these Husbands would allow such harm to come to a Lamb, no?” She settled back, closing her eyes again. “I never need fear again.”

Indeed not. Alina was no enemy, but if she sought to drag her away from her family, then she would make herself an enemy. She was September Seed, then. There was no other life, nothing more to worry about. She had her place.

“There,” John sighed, rubbing ointment over the fresh ink. “You’re going to be hurting for a while.”

“A good suffering, to show my devotion to my family. I take it with a happy hand.” She hummed, ignoring the ache so she could press a kiss to John’s cheek.

She was something new. Fine black inkings upon her flesh made her feel reborn so many times over. The sins she bore were wrapped around her thigh like a garter, with the virtues she learned around the other. A grand crown capped with the antlers of a stag spread across her sternum. Wings trailed down her arms, feathers trailing over the backs of her fingers. A collar of lace wrapped around her neck, the hollow of her throat adorned with the modified cross that her family prayed under. A wolf leapt across her calf, for Jacob. White flowers trailed up her ankle, for Faith. The scales of justice with Yes weighing lighter than the heart, for John. And for Joseph, she bore a bow and arrows, wreathed with green leaves and hope. She was their lamb, their vessel for new life and it was her joy to be so.

“Hurting is easy to handle, for the strong,” Jacob huffed, hooking his arm around her waist, hauling her out of her chair and into his lap. “You’re strong, aren’t you baby girl?”

“You’ve made me strong.”

“And in turn, we will make the world strong,” John breathed, cleaning up the station. “Won’t we?”

That was the plan. With the acceptance of the Voice, Joseph spoke to her of what he hoped. He hoped to save the people of Hope County from the coming fire. There was a fire. There was a fire coming and Joseph spoke the word and there were people who believed in him.

She believed in him. That was enough for her.

“What’s my part in all this anyways?” She sighed, skin like fire when Jacob trailed a touch over the wrap on her thigh. “Where will I be?”

“You are our Wife. You take our sins so that we may focus on our tasks. The most important job, I must say,” John tsked, wiping blood off of his tattoo gun. “Jacob here will build an army. I will collect the flock in, and Faith will show them the bliss. Joseph will lead us to the gate.”

“Eden’s Gate,” she breathed, eyes falling shut when Jacob’s hand slid in between her thighs. “To the new world after the fire.”

“Yes. The fire may take years to come, but we will be ready for it. We will have our castles of metal, and we will have your belly full.”

“Full of my pups,” Jacob groaned, his fingers dipped under her panties, stroking through her slick. “You’ll carry strong pups, all my pups.”

“And mine. And Joseph’s. You’ll bear all of our children when the world rebuilds.”

“Can’t do that with my implant still in.” It felt like a knife in her arm. “We need to take it out. It won’t take long for my body to be ready to take your seed.”

“We can take it out now, surely. So we can be prepared for when Joseph decides it’s time.” John shrugged, patting his hands on his thighs. “You want to do it?”

“I can. It’ll hurt, baby girl.”

“I take the pain gladly.”

“That’s my girl,” he laughed, shifting her over, coaxing her into draping across his lap. 

She offered up her arm, smiling when he felt over the lump in her arm, the hidden implant. He mapped out the shape, measuring the length of it while his other hand pulled out his knife.

“It might be deep. I’ll have to do some digging.”

“Those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good,” she reminded him, lifting a brow. “I take the pain gladly. Go on.”

Jacob rumbled, deep in his chest, and dug the tip of the knife into her arm. It burned, fire in her skin but she took the pain. She accepted it with a soft gasp, making herself watch when he sliced her open. Rich red blood spilled from the gash, full of life. The tip of the knife dug back in to the gasp, scooping, more blood pouring out around the silvery steel. And from within, a faint glint of something medicinal inside. With another wrench, it popped out more. Jacob set aside his knife, grasping the thing with his fingers and dragging it out.

Her implant, evil thing. She took it when Jacob offered it to her, admiring the blood smeared on it even as John pressed rags over her wound, staunching the flow of red from her. Something so small, so awful. How dare it keep children from her belly.

She flicked it away, humming happily at Jacob’s kiss upon her brow, taking his peppered affection. It helped distract from the needle biting into her flesh, of John closing her up and stopping the bleeding.

“How long will it take until you can get pregnant?” Jacob’s voice was definitely husky, and she certainly wasn’t imagining the erection digging into her rump.

“Two weeks, I think. Doesn’t mean we can’t try before that.”

“I like the way you think.”

“Ah, come on now, we have plenty that we need to do before that. You know this, lamb.”

“Joseph!” She called out, delighted. Jacob huffed, pouty, but let her go all the same. She hopped up, hurrying into his arms. “How was the sermon?”

“Successful. Many of my children are coming home. They will aid us. They will walk with us to Eden’s Gate.” He cupped her face gently, smoothing his thumbs over her skin. Such a lovely touch, such a warm hand. “They have begun the construction of our castles, lamb. Safe and deep, under the earth, away from God’s wrath.”

“Perfect.” She melted into his touch, folding in against his chest and taking his embrace happily. “Jacob took my implant from me. I’ll soon be a proper vessel for you.”

“In time.” He kissed her forehead, ever soothing. “Are we all prepared? There will be those who fight us.”

“Alina will come for me.”

“She will be a but a minor inconvenience. Out of all that we have suffered, she will be nothing.” Joseph drew away, looking at his family just as Faith joined them. “We finally have our purpose.”

And she was a part of it. It was the best thing she could have ever been a part of.

Still had to be a part of the community, though.

“The Ryes are having a barbeque soon,” Sep piped up, smiling through their confused looks. “We should all go. It will be a chance to talk to more people of Fall’s End, tell them the good of Eden’s Gate.”

“A fair point,” Joseph sighed, touching lightly over the wrap around her neck. “It will do well to give them all a chance.”

“I can cook. So they don’t complain.”

“Then we will go. We will share our word with them. We will guide them.”

“Whether they like it or not.” Sep huffed, straightening Joseph’s collar. “Anyone with eyes and ears can tell that the world is nearing an end by fire. We just want to help them.”

“Such devotion in you. You make me so proud.”

She was good at something. She was finally good at something. She inflated under the praise, taking their loving touches happily. They burned, but it was what she was meant for.

In the time that passed before the barbeque, she made herself as useful as possible. There were times that her Husbands and Wife could not all be in the same place, so she made herself useful in whatever way they needed when she was alone with them.

Jacob took her to the Veteran’s center, keeping her close while the new followers erected cages in the yard. After all, soldiers in the coming war would need faithful companions, and what better companions could there be but wolves? They could be caught and tamed, and they would be so well trained that they would be as Bezo and Prav, Judges against the evil of the nonbelievers. In the quiet evenings, Jacob set up an old record player, the same record playing each night. At her coaxing, she would take Jacob’s hands and they would sway together as the record player crooned out “Only You”. And when the new Judges howled in their cages outside, Jacob took her and whispered about his pups growing in her, good, strong soldiers for Joseph’s Eden.

When she was with Faith, she walked hand in hand with her beautiful Wife, through the fields around the Rehabilitation center. Followers planted countless white flowers with perfume so sweet it made her dizzy, made her stumble and giggle against Faith until she was coaxed into the center. There, she met Faith’s Angels, those who had suffered for so long only to find comfort in Faith’s guiding word and her gorgeous flowers. Sep met the good doctor that turned the flowers into a purifying medicine for those who needed it most. And when they were alone, she and Faith shared sweet kisses and touches until Sep’s voice grew hoarse from her prayers.

John was much more eager to have her with him. He took her along with his followers, teaching those who would not believe about the power of Yes. He took them to the water’s edge, giving them a taste of Faith’s medicine, of the Bliss and he cleaned them in the rivers until they were pure. He told them their sins, showed them how they could repent for them. He even showed Sep how to place her hand upon the brows of the nonbelievers, pressing them under the water until they gulped in the Bliss, until their eyes went wide with the revelation. And John, good John, could never wait until they got home. His eagerness spilled over in the back of whatever car they were in, his kisses hungry, bordering on glutinous if it hadn’t been shared with his Wife.

Her times with Joseph were the best. He took her along when he spoke to his flock, his words beautifully woven of truth and future for their willing ears. He was glorious, kind and giving to his children, showing them the right path and taking them with him. She felt nothing but love in her heart when she watched him touch brows with them, treating them gently. He knew such kindness in him, even when the nonbelievers resisted him. He told them that he wanted only to save them, promising them a place beside him in Eden if only they would know peace. And her Husband, her good Husband, would always take her back to his bed and make to her so sweetly, praying against her lips and praising her in all the heavens.

It was so exhilarating to be a part of it. She was a part of something better, something bigger. She was finally doing good. She was finally home.

It didn’t matter at the Rye’s barbeque. She felt not the concerned stares of the people of Fall’s End. They didn’t understand. They would never understand what it was like to be such an integral part of the preparation. There was no need to hide her love and her purpose at the barbeque, talking and laughing easily with even the most skeptical person. She was home.

Sep sighed softly in pleasure, taking a long drink from the tea that Adelaide brought to the barbeque. Not too sweet, nice and cool. A nice drink for a barbeque.

“Sep!”

Even when something foul washed over.

She sighed, turning around to see Alina hurrying up. She lifted a brow when her friend faltered, eyeing the healing tattoos on her flesh. Surely, she was shocked at how beautiful she had become.

“What did they do to you?” Alina hissed, moving in, taking in every inch of her. “What the fuck happened?”

“They marked me just as I wanted them to. They did nothing I didn’t beg for.” Maybe if Alina could just believe, if she just knew how good they were, she could walk the path too! She could join them in Eden’s Gate! “Alina, it was wonderful.” She reached out, trying to take her friend’s hands, only to have them yanked away. No matter. “They took my sight, everything. And in that silence, in that solitude, I heard a Voice like thunder. There is a fire coming, and Joseph knew of it! He just wants to save everyone, give them a chance in the new world. And I will walk with him, and together, we will step into the light-”

“Holy fuck,” Alina gasped, grabbing Sep by the shoulders, shaking her slightly. “They’ve destroyed you. I don’t even recognize you anymore.”

“I have been made into what I was always meant to be!” She slapped Alina’s hands away, stepping back. “Why can’t you understand that?”

“Getting tattooed up by a group of sociopaths is not anyone’s divine purpose. And what the fuck happened to your arm?”

“None of your business if you can’t be happy for me.”

“This isn’t you. They’ve-”

“I’ve never felt more clear. They were my test, and with them, I have found clarity. And if you can’t accept that, if you can’t…” Alina was her friend. But what could she say? What could she do? “If you can’t accept that, then maybe we will just have to show you.” Her eyes closed, her breath shuddering in her chest. There was a moment, the slightest moment of pity, where she faltered. “Alina, you should just leave. I’m not sure what is going to happen and you have no place here. I’m fine. Just leave me.”

“I-” Alina started, but when her voice broke off Sep had to look, had to see. While most of the people at the barbeque were watching, they didn’t matter, not with how Joseph was staring at Alina. There was no light in his eyes.

“If you don’t go, they will make you see.” As she spoke, Joseph’s lips parted and he started to sing.

_Amazing Grace…_

Jacob’s head snapped around, coming to rest on Alina. His brow furrowed, like he was trying to see through her, trying to rip her apart with just his eyes.

_How sweet the sound…_

Faith giggled, her hand a gentle wave over some of the food on the table, drips of Bliss falling from her fingertips to soak into whatever would take it.

_I once was lost…_

John’s hands clenched tight on the back of a chair, his own hungry eyes taking in the crowd of people there, at the growing tension. He’d never looked more excited.

_But now am found…_

“Alina. Just go.” Sep pleaded, reaching for her friend, her past friend. “I can’t promise that you’ll make it out of this alive.”

“I won’t leave you,” Alina hissed, back going ramrod straight. “And your little fucktoys can’t intimidate me into running.”

No. Sep drew back, ache flooding her heart. “Then…then we will show you the path to Eden’s Gate. Whether you like it or not.”

_T’was blind but now I see…_

Jacob’s arm jerked, yanking from his back. In one smooth motion, he had a pistol out, and he shot. There was a dull meat thud, Alina’s eyes snapping wide open in shock, in disbelief. Sep watched Alina look down at her thigh, at the blood spreading there. The other gunshots meant nothing, the screams of the other towns people echoing silent in her ears. All that mattered was watching Alina’s eyes roll back in her head, the Bliss taking her as she fell limp to the ground.

Many more people fell to the bullets, and even more started to waver and fall. Faith must have spiked their food long ago. The rest managed to turn and flee, running for town. It was fine. It was time that the people of Hope County found their new path.

Sep just stood and stared at her fallen friend. Her heart ached. Why couldn’t Alina just see?

Joseph moved up beside her, hooking his arm around her waist, pressing a sweet kiss to her cheek. “You did the right thing, lamb.”

“Did I? She was my friend. Despite everything, she was my friend. I just wanted what was best for her.”

“And this is what is best for her. She will see the light. She will know the path.” He stroked her hair back, head tilting to the side. “She will understand.”

Maybe. Alina was fierce. She may prefer to die than to submit to the conditioning. She may…her friend might die. Huh. She closed her eyes tight, trying to breathe. It was too much. Her friend.

“Do not falter, lamb. Do not let her fill you with doubt. Not when you have come so far.”

“I won’t falter. I won’t. I swear.” She shook her head, letting out a shaky breath. “I am where I am meant to be.”

“That you are.” He kissed the side of her neck then, lingering close as he whispered. “For you have been born again…”

“Not of perishable Seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God,” she finished, curling her hands into fists, squeezing so tight her nails felt like blades in her palms. “She will see. She will understand.”

Joseph hummed, the lilt of Amazing Grace coming from him. Sep just stood there and watched as their flock came to take the fallen people around them. There was much to be done if they were all going to walk to Eden’s Gate together.


	13. Service and Conditioning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sep wants to be perfect. She wants to serve her Husbands and her Wife without a moment's doubt...but her best friend. Her best friend makes her fear for her own path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny how much Sep has changed since the beginning...
> 
> Consider swinging by my tumblr and taking a look at this post:  
> http://sepzet.tumblr.com/post/176399984257/sepzet-is-creating-writing-and-fanfiction

Kidnapping charges. Really.

Sep huffed, setting down the newspaper. Her family was definitely not kidnapping people. They were assisting people in their discovery of salvation. Not a bad thing. Everything but.

“You done with that?”

“Mm? Sure.” Sliding the newspaper over, she rested her chin on her hand, watching John turn the newspaper around, sliding out his scissors. With a sort of childish focus, he started to snip the article out, sectioning out each paragraph.

Once it was out, he smoothed it flat over a clean piece of creamy paper, making sure it fit. Satisfied, he glued it down, pressing a heavy book over it to ensure it dried flat. Her John was so artistic. Adorable.

Her eyes dragged over to the other framed articles on the wall. More and more, different articles popping up all saying similar things. Kidnapping, murder, torture, all lies and slander. They were good people. They were doing good things. They gave what the people deserved.

“Ah, isn’t this cute.”

“Hm?” Sep scoot closer to John, smiling demurely when her Husband hooked his arm around her waist, his fingertips dipping under the hem of her shirt to touch skin. “What did you find?”

“Missing persons reports. Look.”

Her. Her picture. Among the other people of Hope County, she was there. She was missing. She was most certainly not missing. She was home.

“I wonder who posted it,” he mused, tapping a beat over her photo. “Not the most flattering picture of you.”

“Not like they had access to anything better.”

“We could send them one. Get you a nice, beautiful picture for them to post around. It would be a test to our new followers, to see if they have mastered Envy. Surely they envy me for having such a beautiful Wife.”

So affectionate, so cute. She giggled at his insistent kisses to her cheek and neck. He was such a needy Husband, and he took so much of her focus to take care of. A happy task, she felt. It was her purpose, her most important work.

“John.”

He sighed against her skin, pulling back slowly, fixing Jacob in his scowl. “What?”

“Don’t you have Cleansing to do?”

“But I-”

“Joseph will remind you of Sloth, you know. Best get moving.” Jacob jerked his thumb over his shoulder, his command short and clear. Even if Joseph was the one calling the shots, it was Jacob who was the strength. John could only flinch, giving her one last squeeze. Jacob watched his younger brother leave, breathing deeply, taking his time. Leaving her waiting.

She knew not to move. She knew he had chased John away for a reason. While her Husbands and Wife were good, wonderful people, she could still see their sins plaguing them. There was greed there, in their hunger to have her alone at times. She understood that. There were times that she wanted to spend time with one of them more than others. Maybe because there were times that they needed her love more than the others. She didn’t know. Either way, she certainly didn’t mind Jacob’s push for them to be alone.

“How’re you healing?”

“Good. They’re not really as sore as they were.” She turned her chin up for his kiss, reaching for him once he sat beside her. Taking his hands, she stroked her fingertips up the scars on his arm. They’d gotten redder, more irritated. He had yet to tell her why he had those scars, but she would not press. It was not her place.

“Mm. Good.” He let her settle there for while longer, letting her relax with him. But there was another motive. There was always another motive. “She’s adapting well.”

Oh. Sep felt pale and cold, for just a moment. Right. “Is she?”

“She’s strong. Stronger than many here in Hope County. She responds to the trigger, it’s just getting her to stop after that’s difficult.”

“Ah.” She closed her eyes. Holding in the pain. “That’s good.”

“You still feel for her.” His touch was rough against her jaw, his skin catching against hers, like sandpaper on her softness. “She is the one who betrayed you.”

“I know. It’s just rough to think of-”

“Do you think what we are doing is wrong? She’s going through what we make everyone else do. Do you disagree with our methods?”

“No! No, not at all. I just wish she would have joined us peacefully.” Sep opened her eyes again, a smile coming to her lips. “That’s all.”

Jacob’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Suspicion, and rightly so. How dare she falter, for even a moment? She was his Wife, and it was her place to support them no matter what. Alina had done it. Alina had gone. It was Alina’s fault. That was it. That was all.

“Take me to see her. Show me that she has become stronger. Please.” Maybe seeing what Alina had become would make her feel better. Maybe she would know, would understand, would feel her strength and resolve in being their Wife. “I want to see.”

“It isn’t easy to look at. It may hurt you.”

“You know how I am with pain. I’ll take it.” To prove herself. She would be good. She wanted to be good.

There was still some skepticism there. She could see it, feel it in her Husband’s look. There was definitely shame in her for it, for making him doubt for even a moment. She was resolute. Alina had given herself that fate. She had no one to blame but herself.

“Alright. But stay close. The center has changed since you’ve last been there.”

“I trust you.”

She had to trust in him. The center really had changed. No longer was the road leading up lined with trees, instead cut bare. Jacob informed her it was so they could see clearly around the center, just in case someone wanted to talk their family home. No one would leave the center until they were ready. Until Jacob said they were ready.

So many cages. There was the stink of rot everywhere, be it from the failed soldiers or the wolves. It made her nose wrinkle, but she refused to look around. She walked steadily at Jacob’s side, looking straight ahead. Jacob was strong, earning the respect of his soldiers. She would not give them any reason to doubt by being his weak Wife.

Along the side walls of the center, in low, filthy cages, she was brought to Alina. She wasn’t sure what she expected, what she hoped to find.

What she saw was her friend, curled in the corner of the cage, filthy and smeared with blood. So much blood. There were bruises all over her arms, her eye swollen and black. Horrible. She had to have a split lip, too. Going through the training was rough, there was no doubt.

“She’s taken to the conditioning. Want me to show you?”

“Not yet.” Her hand found Jacob’s, their fingers lacing together. Alina stirred ever so slightly, their voice just enough to wake her from her exhausted sleep. “I want to talk to her.”

“She might make you doubt more.”

“I won’t. I am resolute.” With Jacob there, it would be fine. She would be strong, and she would show him that she was worth it. “You are here with me. It is your love that makes me strong, and it this strength that will show that I am your loyal Wife.”

“And I have no doubt. Go on, talk.”

Right. Sep breathed out slowly, grateful for his presence there, especially when Alina’s only good eye cracked oven fixing her in such a scathing glare that it burned on her skin. Okay. She deserved that. She really needed that.

“Hi Alina.” Awkward. “How are you feeling?”

“How…how am I feeling? How am I feeling?” Alina was definitely screaming after about two seconds. “You are looking at me through the bars of a fucking cage, September! How the fuck do you think I’m feeling?”

Right. Sep cleared her throat, maintaining eye contact with the seething mass that was her friend. Strong. She was strong. “I have to ask. You’ve been going through the training for a while. Jacob says you’re strong.”

“Go fuck yourself. I don’t have to-”

Jacob cleared his throat, extending his free hand. A hunter, apparently waiting nearby, moved closer to place a little wooden box in his hand. The moment he had it, Alina’s jaw clicked shut, her eyes widening.

“Now now,” Jacob crooned, thumb rubbing over the smooth lid of the box. “Let’s be a little more polite. Just for a bit.”

Alina stared at him, her hands clenching tight into fists, but she did remain silent. Whatever that box was about, she didn’t like it. Well, whatever it was, it made her stop yelling. That was fine.

“Thank you, Jacob,” Sep murmured, bumping her shoulder against his. “Are you getting much food?”

“Yeah. When I kill people faster than everyone else,” she hissed, attention darting back and forth between her and Jacob. “Because that’s what he’s training us to do. Kill people.”

“He’s training you to be strong! He only wants to take care of you. He is our protector, and he will help you become more than you could have ever been alone.”

“Oh my god.” Alina grunted, forcing herself up, leaning against the bars of her cage. “They’ve really gotten to you.”

“Gotten to me? What do you mean?”

“What do I… What else could I mean? They’ve brainwashed you. This is not what people do. This is not normal. This is not a good thing! People do not lock other people up in cages and make them fucking kill people!” Lurching to her feet, she lunged closer, gripping the bars to press her face in between them, baring her teeth. “You think this is fine? You think he’s helping us?”

“I know he is. He’s made you strong. He made me strong.”

“What? Because he rapes you and calls it love? He’s made you believe that they love you. But they fucking don’t. They’re using you. They hate you.”

“How dare you? They love me! They would never hurt me.” There was no way. She was their love. She was their conduit. “Why can’t you be grateful what we are doing for you?”

“Grateful? For this?” Alina laughed, breathless, eyes wide and insane. “Go fuck yourself. Open the fucking music box. Come on. Open it so I don’t have to fucking talk to this bullshit.”

“Hey. You will respect my Wife.”

“She’s not your wife!”

“Oh, she’s my Wife. She’s my good, loyal Wife.” He released her hand, cradling the music box close, teasingly running his fingers along the seam of the lid. “Do you want to see? I can show you.”

“Fuck you. Just fuck you.”

Jacob grinned, a wicked thing. And it was that wickedness that made Sep inhale sharply, warmth taking her. She loved that in her Husband.

“Baby girl,” Jacob purred, offering the music box back to the hunter. “Be a good girl and kneel.”

There was no hesitation. She dropped to her knees in the dirt beside the cage, keeping her back ramrod straight. She was a good girl. She was his good baby girl. And there she stayed, perched perfectly, not moving. He paced behind her. She was an example. She would be the best example.

“My baby girl is strong. She’s very strong. Not in the way that you will be, no. While she won’t hunt and kill at my word, she’s strong in that she can handle me and my family. That’s why she’s well fed. That’s why she’s outside of the cage.”

“No, she’s outside of the cage because she tolerates your awkward fucking. What? You want me to-”

Jacob’s hand curled in Sep’s hair, squeezing tight enough that it drew a moan from her throat. “I want you to watch. If you’re good, like my Wife, then you’ll be allowed out of your cage. If you could just behave, we wouldn’t have this problem. Be good like my Wife.”

“Fuck you.”

“Mm. I bet you’re thirsty. Haven’t had water for a few days. Bet it’s real hard to swallow.” Jacob’s hand gentled in her hair, stroking her. “Are you thirsty, baby girl?”

“Yes, Husband.” Not really, but she understood what he wanted.

“Now, you see, because my Wife here is good and obedient, she’s actually going to get to have a drink. Because she’s my good girl.” Standing behind her, his hand cupped under her jaw, tilting her head up. Her eyes fell shut on instinct, pride flowing through her at being so displayed. She was his good girl. She would always be his good girl.

Jacob must have reached out, a hunter moving in and handing him something. A canteen, her brain supplied, at the sound of sloshing water. His thumb barely brushed her bottom lip before she opened her mouth, waiting, ready.

He tipped it into her mouth, splashing just a bit of the sweet, clean water in. She swallowed obediently, remaining still when he took it back, gulping down great mouthfuls of it himself. When it was empty, he tossed it aside, smacking his lips and sighing in satisfaction.

“You going to behave yourself, mm? Want to apologize to my Wife for your attitude?”

“I’m going to kill you. I’m going to fucking cut your heart out,” Alina hissed, shifting from foot to foot, an uneasy, cornered animal. “And I’ll give it to Sep so she can see how fucking black it is.”

“Baby girl.”

“Yes, Husband?”

“Put your cheek in the dirt and raise your hips high.”

Oh, yes. It hurt with how quickly she slammed down, pressing her palms to the dirt. She tried just keeping her hips up, but it wasn’t good enough. Jacob grabbed her hips and hitched her up higher until her legs were partially straight, knees bent and back craned awkwardly. It hurt. Her thighs already started to burn with the awkwardness of the position, but it was how he wanted her. It was how she would stay.

When he yanked her shorts down, Alina hissed, pulling away from the bars.

“No no, cupcake, you’re going to watch.” When she still turned away, his voice lifted just a bit more. “Ah, you turn away and I cut your rations in half.”

That made her pause. And she turned back, watching the two of them.

“Good. Good.” He hummed, dragging Sep’s panties down, exposing her to the open air. “My girl is so nice and obedient. She takes what I give her with a smile and a thank you. Isn’t that right, baby girl?”

She wanted to agree, but words failed her when she heard the rasp of his zipper being open. Oh yes. Oh please.

The head of his cock pushed into her, but it was soft. That struck her as odd for a moment.

Then it felt warm.

“Ah,” Jacob sighed, his hand gripping over her ass, keeping her steady. “See how good my baby girl is? She takes. She takes what I give her with a smile and a thank you. Say thank you.”

“Thank you, Husband!” He was pissing in her. Filling her up with all that he had and that was hot as fuck. Even when she was full up to the brim, when it started to trickle out of her and run down her thighs she sobbed in pleasure. Because she was made for him, made for all of them and she would be happy to take whatever they wanted to give her.

“You’re sick. You’re both sick,” Alina murmured, eyes tired and distant.

Jacob just hummed, his touch a gentle knead on her ass, squeezing big handfuls. “Come on, clench up. Keep as much of me in there as possible.”

She whined, complying. Since piss was so thin, there was no way for her to keep it in. No matter how she clamped down, it still trickled out of her, sliding past her clit and it felt a little bit like almost coming. But god, he just kept filling her and filling her and she was making such broken sounds and her thighs were shaking.

It felt like ages and yet only a minute before he drew back, his hand patting her ass fondly. He had even tucked his cock away when her legs gave out, making her collapse into the dirt and mess and all of him rushing out of her over her thighs and she wailed. She wailed like an animal and jammed her hand in between her legs, rubbing at herself furiously.

“Isn’t she sweet? Look at my beautiful Wife. You start behaving and taking my orders like her, and you’ll get more privileges.” Jacob’s boots scuffed in the dirt past her, over to the bars of the cage. “She begs for everything I give her. She loves me. She loves us. And we love her.”

“Sure,” Alina grumbled. “Sure you do.”

Jacob scoffed, turning to kneel down beside her, stroking her side. “I’m going to go and make a phone call, baby girl. You just stay here. I’ll be back.”

“Yes, Husband.” Didn’t stop her from continuing to rub herself. Nope. She had things to do.

In a moment, she and Alina were alone. All alone together, one in a cage, one curled in the dirt. It was quiet. Just for a moment.

“You have to still be in there,” Alina whispered, crouching down low. “Please, September. This isn’t normal. None of this is right.”

“Who can define what normal is?” Sep was a little breathless, shivering in the dirt. She was so unbearably close.

“I can tell you that locking people up and torturing them isn’t normal. That being tattooed all over by religious fanatics isn’t normal. That bending over and letting a psychopath piss in you just to prove a point isn’t normal.”

“Jacob’s no psychopath. None of them are.” They were all her perfect family. They had shown her what it was to be happy and there was no insanity in that. There was no insanity when her orgasm took her and she gasped soundlessly against the dirt, her body clenching down and forcing out the rest of his piss out.

“I want to feel bad for you. But I don’t. You had to have seen the signs. You walked into this shit.” Alina drew back, her pace speeding up at Jacob’s approach. She fairly threw herself back against the bars of her cage the moment he stopped beside Sep.

“You’ll learn discipline,” Jacob rumbled, the faint click-click-click coming from his hands, slowly winding up the music box he held. “You’ll learn to take orders. And you, cupcake, will cull the herd. Only the strongest will survive the Collapse.”

Sep groaned, hoisting herself up to her knees just as the first few notes of Only You started to play. Even so slight, the song made Alina scream, grabbing at the sides of her head, lurching around, turning from a human to an animal.

Jacob was right. If she would just obey, then it would be so much easier. If she could just understand that what they had was beautiful, then it would be better.

“Come on, baby girl. We’re just wasting our time here.” He caught her arm, hauling her up to her feet, yanking her clothes back into place with a rough hand. “Let’s eat some dinner and settle in for the night. Bezo and Prav miss you.”

Sep cast Alina one last lingering glance. If only she would learn. If only.

But that wasn’t something she had to worry about. No worries.


End file.
